The Liars Clock

Shelly21

Diamond Member
May 28, 2002
4,111
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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," Said the man, "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
 

vood0g

Golden Member
Mar 5, 2004
1,442
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heard it before, but with a different twist. the clocks were masturbation clocks. still pretty funny.
 

sillymofo

Banned
Aug 11, 2003
5,817
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Originally posted by: Isshinryu
That's ok, Kerry's is in the meat locker keeping things cool.
Let's analyze this a little shall we? The almighty Jesus, son of God, still need cooling? Damn.. what's a little meat then.....
 

Isshinryu

Senior member
May 28, 2004
922
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Originally posted by: cr4zymofo
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
That's ok, Kerry's is in the meat locker keeping things cool.
Let's analyze this a little shall we? The almighty Jesus, son of God, still need cooling? Damn.. what's a little meat then.....

Hey, keeping Heaven's meat locker cool is no easy task...think of how many souls are up there. :)
 

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
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Originally posted by: Isshinryu
Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
That's ok, Kerry's is in the meat locker keeping things cool.

That doesn't make sense. Try again.

Makes perfect sense. Read again.

You remind me of George from seinfeld's reply, "Yeah? well the Jerk Store called, and they ran out of you!"
Meat lockers are big refrigerators. Thus your poor attempt at a snappy reply fails.
 

Gurck

Banned
Mar 16, 2004
12,963
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Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
That's ok, Kerry's is in the meat locker keeping things cool.

That doesn't make sense. Try again.

Makes perfect sense. Read again.

You remind me of George from seinfeld's reply, "Yeah? well the Jerk Store called, and they ran out of you!"
Meat lockers are big refrigerators. Thus your poor attempt at a snappy reply fails.

Lol that episode rocked :p
 

Isshinryu

Senior member
May 28, 2004
922
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Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
That's ok, Kerry's is in the meat locker keeping things cool.

That doesn't make sense. Try again.

Makes perfect sense. Read again.

You remind me of George from seinfeld's reply, "Yeah? well the Jerk Store called, and they ran out of you!"
Meat lockers are big refrigerators. Thus your poor attempt at a snappy reply fails.

I know exactly what a meat locker is...it still makes sense. Instead of running refrigerant, you simply use Kerry's liar-clock to circulate the air at such a rate, the cooling effect is the same. How does that escape you?
 

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
64
91
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
Originally posted by: preslove
Originally posted by: Isshinryu
That's ok, Kerry's is in the meat locker keeping things cool.

That doesn't make sense. Try again.

Makes perfect sense. Read again.

You remind me of George from seinfeld's reply, "Yeah? well the Jerk Store called, and they ran out of you!"
Meat lockers are big refrigerators. Thus your poor attempt at a snappy reply fails.

I know exactly what a meat locker is...it still makes sense. Instead of running refrigerant, you simply use Kerry's liar-clock to circulate the air at such a rate, the cooling effect is the same. How does that escape you?

First off, that would not keep meat cool enough not to spoil. Second, even if it could work, it's way too convoluted to work, hence "Jerkstore" George.
 

Isshinryu

Senior member
May 28, 2004
922
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Originally posted by: preslove


First off, that would not keep meat cool enough not to spoil. Second, even if it could work, it's way too convoluted to work, hence "Jerkstore" George.

First off, the whole thing is unrealistic and takes place on a supernatural plane, who are you to say if it would work or not.
Second, just because you feel it's too complicated to work, doesn't mean that it is.
Third, lighten up and stop overanalyzing, leathdhuin :)