As someone who went through this recently myself I know what you're going through. My dog Shadow who was a stray flat-coated retriever/newfie mix who took up residence on my sisters front porch over 12 years ago. After several days of him hanging around only leaving to go play with the kids at the bus stop down the street every morning I decided I could take the plunge and take him in. She already had 2 other big dogs at the time so she couldn't keep him and had posted up flyers and contacted all the vets and shelters in the area. He was probably 1-2 years old at the time.
I had him for over 12 years myself which is rare for a dog his size. He was the best dog anyone could have, about as laid back as one could get, almost too laid back because he rarely even played - he would play with some things but you could never get him to tug on anything, he was just a gentle giant I guess. Never barked or whined. He just followed me around and was happy enough just being there with me. That dog got me through the best and worst times of my life.
This past September I noticed a pretty sudden change in him. He definitely wasn't himself. Was slower to get up and down, wasn't eating as much, seemed to have difficulty breathing, occasional diarrhea, etc. All was unusual for a dog that was never sick the entire time I had him. That's when I checked him over and found that his throat felt swollen. So I took him to the vet hoping maybe it was just something minor coupled with old age and we could get some Rimadyl or something and he'd be fine after a few days.
The vet checked him over and found some more lumps that I hadn't notice in his hind legs which probably explained the slowness in getting up. She was pretty sure at this point what it was but did some blood work to be sure. It wasn't good news. Turns out he had pretty advanced lymphoma. She gave me some meds to help get the fluid out of the lumps and other meds to help with his upset stomach. I was told with the meds alone I could expect 2-3 good months or so. With chemo it would cost over $2K and maybe get a year or more. Being the realistic person that I am I did the math, I knew he was up there in age and it was almost his time anyway. Unfortunately I also know what chemo does to people and there was no way I was putting my dog, who was already suffering enough, through that. So I stuck with the meds and hoped for the best.
He got better after a day or 2, almost back to being himself again, had maybe 2 or 3 good days. Then he went downhill again, fast. Much worse than before. To the point where he could barely go down the back steps to go to the bathroom (meds made him pee a lot, every 2 hours or so). When he got to the point that he couldn't even stand up to pee without kinda falling into it and couldn't get back up the steps without me carrying him that's when I said enough is enough. Keep in mind this took place over about a 24 hour period of time, it was that fast. The next morning he just laid there and looked up at me. You'll know that look when you see it. So I sat there with him for several minutes knowing what I had to do. It was time for me the make "the toughest easy decision of my life." So I called the vet and drove him over to say my final goodbye.
You have no idea how difficult it is to even type this up because it still hurts, but I know I did the right thing. But as they say, every end is just a new beginning...
I had been looking at German Shepherd puppies for probably the last 5 years if not more. Never really sure I wanted to take that plunge because I knew what I would be getting in to. Kept going back and forth with do I get one now and maybe Shadow will rub off on him, or wait until Shadow is gone and start from scratch? Well at this point unfortunately I didn't have much choice. I wasn't planning on getting one so fast but one of the local reputable breeders had litter that was born in July and had 1 left. So I figured why not? Called her up and immediately got that feeling like this is who I want to get a dog from. She's passionate about it and knows what she's talking about. So I went to take a look at the puppy with my sister.
When we got there we talked with the breeder for several minutes and then went out to see the puppy... well actually puppies. She had 2 left from this litter, one was spoken for but the person hadn't come by to pick out which of the 2 they wanted yet so I got to choose. Well, actually he chose me. As soon as I crouched down each time the same puppy would run over to me and sit between my legs and look up at me while the other one romped around playing in the grass. Every time I stood up he'd rejoin his brother. I crouch and back he comes without me saying a word. I kinda joked, well that was easy, he picked ME. Since he was part of the "F" litter for the year they had already named him Frazier. Definitely wasn't one of the names I had previously tossed around but he responded to it so I figured it was good enough. And with that a new journey began...
These last few months have been interesting. Boy did I get what I asked for and then some. Talk about a complete opposite to what I had. This boy is hyper, hard headed, incredibly intelligent, the list goes on and on. It's amazing how fast they grow and how quickly he picks up on new things. But man do I have my hands full now, and I'm loving every minute of it. Well, maybe with the exception to those first few weeks when he couldn't make it more than couple hours without going potty which meant I was a bit sleep deprived.
One of the guys at the vet called Shadow a "lottery dog" - hopefully Frazier will be one too.
Sorry for the long post, I knew it'd be long, but not that long lol. Basically just hope for the best, that's all we can do. We all want to squeeze every quality minute out of our best friends but when their quality of life begins to suffer we know what we have to do. Maybe that time is now, maybe you'll have a couple more years yet. That's for you, your dog, and your vet to decide. And like I said, you'll know when it's time.
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