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The joys of cube life: The moron that never shuts up

V

Viper GTS

Lifer
Ahh, I love life in the cube.

I just got moved again. I'd spent the last few months next to a kid my age that was moderately tolerable. Problem is he acted his age, which was annoying. As long as I didn't make the mistake of participating in his conversation (he was quite adept at holding one sided conversations) he would eventually lose interest & fade back into silence.

Now I'm next to a blowhard who NEVER shuts up. Every time I've had the misfortune of spending time around him I've had to hear his story about how he was THIS close to being an FBI agent and he's still waiting for the call. They flew him somewhere for an interview, had three agents interview him in his hotel room, blah, blah, blah... Note that the story was never directed at me, he's just loud enough that if he's within 20 feet EVERYONE gets to hear. Nobody in particular has to be engaging him, as long as people are around he will talk. The FBI story is a favorite, but he has more that he will unleash upon his victims. I have this nearly unbearable urge to tell him that the FBI doesn't hire habitual liars.

I've only been here for 30 minutes & I'm already having fantasies of removing his vocal chords.

Doesn't anyone value silence anymore?

:frown:

Viper GTS
 
Originally posted by: BlinderBomber
Have you tried...


headphones?

Earplugs?

A gun?

Prayer or other divine intervention?
Click to expand...

Headphones & earplugs are a no go, as is murder. A simple removal of his ability to speak would solve the problem entirely.

Divine intervention might work though, anybody want to pray for me?

😀

Viper GTS
 
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Ahh, I love life in the cube.

I just got moved again. I'd spent the last few months next to a kid my age that was moderately tolerable. Problem is he acted his age, which was annoying. As long as I didn't make the mistake of participating in his conversation (he was quite adept at holding one sided conversations) he would eventually lose interest & fade back into silence.

Now I'm next to a blowhard who NEVER shuts up. Every time I've had the misfortune of spending time around him I've had to hear his story about how he was THIS close to being an FBI agent and he's still waiting for the call. They flew him somewhere for an interview, had three agents interview him in his hotel room, blah, blah, blah... Note that the story was never directed at me, he's just loud enough that if he's within 20 feet EVERYONE gets to hear. Nobody in particular has to be engaging him, as long as people are around he will talk. The FBI story is a favorite, but he has more that he will unleash upon his victims. I have this nearly unbearable urge to tell him that the FBI doesn't hire habitual liars.

I've only been here for 30 minutes & I'm already having fantasies of removing his vocal chords.

Doesn't anyone value silence anymore?

:frown:

Viper GTS
Click to expand...

He probably means the CIA. 😉

 
They only time I ever worked indoors in corporate America I had my own office with my own lab directly across the hall. The only problem was that they wanted me to be a one man IT department in a company that needed at least 7 people. I quit and have been living happily ever after as a field tech. 😀


Oops, sorry. This doesn't have anything to do with your problem unless you want to consider becoming a lonely field tech.
 
Tell him that the FBI stage where they interview you with 3 agents is only the second step of the process...he still had a long to go from there. Tell him all of that because well...its the truth.
 
HEY! HOW ARE YOU TODAY.
I HOPE THIS POST FINDS YOU IN THE BEST OF MOODS.
I AM SORRY THAT YOU ARE ANGRY W/ME.
PLS DO NOT HURT ME.
I NEED MY VOICE.

SINCERELY,
THE LOUD GUY
 
Peace and quiet are certainly on the way out... and I'm pissed. I hate noise, especially when it's being produced by someone other than myself. Music, talking, fidgeting, whatever.
 
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Originally posted by: Ornery
Click to expand...

I used the last one on my previous neighbor with great success. Perhaps I should show that to all the people that sit around him, since I don't have any direct control over his ramblings.

Viper GTS
Click to expand...

LMAO! I use #4 with my GF all the time when we're on the phone. I swear, I can put the phone down, go to the bathroom, wash my hands, crack another beer, slug half of it down and pick up the phone and she's still talking!!! :Q She_doesn't_breathe.
 
I used to work in an inbound call center for a telco. Some reps talked really loud. Extremely annoying. Some customers would ask "What the hell's going on over there?" because it was so loud sometimes.

Try to send him some official-looking email (or phone call) saying he didn't get the job, and will never again be considered for any job where national security may be a concern. OK, that's a dumb idea, but it's all I got.




EDIT: MichaelD: I was talking to a girl-who-is-a-friend on the phone one time and couldn't get a word in edgewise. I put the phone down, walked away, came back a few minutes later, and she was still talking. She never noticed.
 
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