The horror....

[child of wonder]

Here's the story:

My father in law was diagnosed with prostate cancer that had metastasized throughout his body in October of 2003. He passed away in September 2004. He and my mother in law had been married for over 30 years.

Almost immediately after he passed, my MIL began going into single Mormon chat rooms and forums looking for a new Mormon man. The first one that showed interest turned out to be a scam artist. He claimed he had a "job" for her, all she needed to do was open up a checking account to allow him to transfer money in and out of. Even though we all told her it was a scam, she did it anyway. Guess what, it was a scam and she had to pay the bank back $4,000.

Fast forward to late 2006 and she drops a bombshell saying she has been "dating" a Mormon man on the internet from her home state of Idaho, she had visited him during her last trip out there to see her mother, and now they're engaged. She's selling her house and moving out there ASAP to get married.

Once again, we all told her how stupid this was because this man had been divorced 4 times and was probably going to take her money.

Fast forward again to today and, just as we said, he has drained the equity she got from her house and is verbally and emotionally abusive. She wants to leave him and move back here. She has a little bit of money left from the home equity and will get an apartment.

We're happy she's leaving this guy but there are so many hurt feelings towards her from the family. She took off and abandoned everyone here (including our kids, her only two grand children) to be with the second person who would take her and claimed to have money (she doesn't want to work). We also feel her actions are very disrespectful to my deceased FIL.

Anyway, we hope she can be humble about what's happened, admit she made a horrible mistake and that everyone was right, and apologize for it.

I'm mostly dreading the sound of her voice. *shudder* Think Archie Bunker's wife.

Cliffs:

1. Father in law died of cancer years ago
2. Mother in law immediately scoured the net looking for replacement
3. Married first guy that would take her, sold everything, and moved away to be with him despite the situation clearly being FUBAR.
4. To no one's surprise, the situation really is FUBAR and she wants to move back.
5. She has an obnoxious voice.

 

[Alistar7]

I'm so sorry to hear you MIL accidentally fell into that rented wood chipper so soon after moving back to the area.

 

[moshquerade]

i feel your pain. after my father died my mother turned to the internet to find a man. it's been one loser after another. one guy "borrowed" my father's truck while his was in the shop, and we ended up having to threaten him with reporting it as stolen for him to return it. the last one offered to take my mother's wedding ring and have it re-set and cleaned by a friend of his that is a jeweler. i fear they took the diamond and replaced it with something less valuable. maybe i'm just being paranoid, but it sucks having to be a mother to your mother.

i can't believe how naive and desperate she acts at times. it's like she's not going to be happy until she is married again.

 

[kranky]

I think the rest of the family would be happier if they did not expect an apology, did not expect her to admit everyone was right, and did not expect her to admit her mistake. Those expectations are really a smokescreen for feeling superior to her.

It's her life, she made big girl choices, and although they didn't work out, that's on her.

And I do not think her actions were disrespectful to your FIL. People deal with grief in different ways, and it's not right to second-guess her actions.

The most loving thing the family can do is welcome her back. To be hurt that she "abandoned" everyone is kind of selfish, no?

The voice... don't know what to tell you there. An Edith Bunker voice would be harsh to listen to.

 

[meltdown75]

That blows dude.

 

[child of wonder]

Originally posted by: kranky
I think the rest of the family would be happier if they did not expect an apology, did not expect her to admit everyone was right, and did not expect her to admit her mistake. Those expectations are really a smokescreen for feeling superior to her.

It's her life, she made big girl choices, and although they didn't work out, that's on her.

And I do not think her actions were disrespectful to your FIL. People deal with grief in different ways, and it's not right to second-guess her actions.

The most loving thing the family can do is welcome her back. To be hurt that she "abandoned" everyone is kind of selfish, no?

The voice... don't know what to tell you there. An Edith Bunker voice would be harsh to listen to.

I could go into more detail but she did throw my wife and my wife's brother under the bus when she moved away. She took off before her house was sold and ordered my brother in law to clean the place up. When he took his sweet time doing it since he has his own life to attend to, she began chewing him out and talking smack about him and my wife to her new fiance because they weren't working fast enough.

Then her new fiance has the gall to try to chew my wife out for not cleaning the house. lol

As to her admitting her mistake and such, that would go a long way towards two goals: knowing that she understands how stupid her decision was and alleviating our fears that she has Alzheimer's.

Her mother is dying of Alzheimer's right now and with my MIL's scatter brained behavior and actions we're worrying the disease is manifesting in her, too.

 

[Glavinsolo]

Meet her on the mormon chat room and ask her to move to California in order to meet you in person.