Originally posted by: DigDug
I have outlined the various arguments so far, along with my response:
1. Some variation of "you are homophobic"
A: I'm not homophobic at all. If you knew me, you know that my peeves are as valid among many homosexuals as they are among me. What I do apologize for is about speaking in the absolute. You all are right, they don't ALL act as I mention. But many, many do - many more so than would be the product of happenstance. As Gustaharian (sp?) admitted - its a contrivance. And that's what I was getting at. The gay men in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are modern-day Sambos. Anyone who suggests otherwise is kidding themselves, and are probably the same morons who assert that women who pose naked in Hustler are furthering female empowerment.
2. Some variation of "heterosexuals are the same" (the old relativity argument).
A: I believe I addressed this in my original post, but perhaps not clearly enough. Yes, there are heterosexuals who choose to base their identity on heterosexuality. Shows like the Man Show, and a good amount of the hyper-macho men out there seem to talk about nothing but sex, are examples of the bunch. However, as a percentage of the heterosexual population, I'm willing to be that they are far smaller a group than the percentage of homosexual society made up by "flamers", for lack of a better word. Again, Gustaharian's assertion that this ru-paulesque persona is a counter to the inferiority complex brought about by the by-and-large ocietal disapproval of homosexuals only serves to prove my point - see below.
3. The more thoughtful argument that this is simply compensatory behavior.
A: I believe this is exactly right, to an extent. And sadly, it does nothing but garner more hatred and seeks to alienate those, like me, who otherwise are willing to embrace someone who is gay. Like I said before, I want to know you as you, not Gay you. If you are so one-dimensional or uninteresting as to have nothing else to offer but your sexual orientation, then you do not deserve my friendship. People don't like a stance or opinion continually thrown in their face - regardless of what it is (and unless it is one they passionately agree with) - and as PETA enrages and alienates the average person, so too does the constant sexual banter that flamers engage in (in a transparent effort to shock and feign self-assuredness). One of my best friends - we have a tight social circle from law school - is gay, but you'd NEVER, EVER know. Is he less gay? No, to me - he does far more for the "gay cause" by doing nothing at all, than the affected lisps and hip sways of the "will and grace" chelsea-boy crowd.
While my post may have been a little harsh, it was a (perhaps poor) attempt at a humorous way to demonstration frustration, along with what I tried to say clearly, "you do not need to do this to be gay." What I said, however, I meant - and its sad that any critical evaluation of a marginalized group instantly draws the "you're a homophobe!", "you're an anti-semite!", "you're a racist!" crowd piling out of the woodwork.