I was in Aruba last week and while we were grilling we chit chatted with some other people grilling. I live in the DMV area about 8 miles north of DC. When I talked to this other guy and we started asking where we're each from, he told me he was from Kentucky. The very first thing out of his mouth after I told him I was from the DMV area was "aren't housing prices ridiculous there?" The second thing out of his mouth was asking about how bad traffic is in the area. And yes he's right about both of those.
The thing is though, there's just so much more money to be made (in my field at least) where I live.
Sure my house may be double the price of his house, and probably 1/3 or more smaller, but my salary is pretty high and due to that it gives me a lot of extra fun money to play around with and take these vacations frequently due to the extra income.
If my salary is double what I'd make in Kentucky, but so is what my house payment would be in Kentucky, I still have the potential to come out with a lot more disposable income than I would living in a place with lower cost of living and lower salaries anyways.
Hypothetical scenarios below:
Kentucky - $1000/mo mortgage - $4000/mo takehome - $3000 extra income after paying mortgage
Maryland - $2000/mo mortgage - $8000/mo takehome - $6000 extra income after paying mortgage
Even if takehome in MD was only $6000/mo, that is still an extra $1000 a month after paying mortgage. So me personally, I'd take higher cost of living area if it was a place I wanted to live, over a low cost of living place, if it meant in the end I'd still have a lot more money after paying bills. And in that above scenario, that means 401k is also much larger as well so retirement would be larger in high cost of living area too.