The ever growing effects of gratitude in your life

[Perknose]

I was really, really good at my job as an investigator because I treated everyone I came across with respect, even, no, especially, in the very worst neighborhoods. I was often the only white guy for blocks and blocks around at 2am in North Philly. And I refused to carry a weapon. If you strap on, you have to be prepared to end someone else's life. Enough with that for me. Meanwhile, all the big, bad ex-cops who were my peers would eventually get jumped because they hid their pussy-assed, racist fears behind asshole bluster and came on too strong. For some reason, I was never afraid. Perps and predators can literally smell fear.

I'm a slow learner in life, but I have come to embrace the attitude of gratitude. I try, most every morning when I wake up, to take a few moments and call to mind 4-5 things I am grateful for. There's a play I encourage everyone to see if they get a chance called Every Brilliant Thing. It's about a 7 year old boy who's mother is hospitalized after trying to kill herself. To console her and himself, he begins a long list of everything that makes him happy, everything that makes life worth living.

Number one is "ice cream." Over the years, the list grows and grows, from palindromes and water fights through "the color yellow" and "falling in love." . Number 777,777 is "the prospect of dressing up as a Mexican wrestler" . . . not actually dressing up as one, just the prospect of doing so!

The empirical research on the positive effects of practicing gratitude is out there. It's worth reading this entire article to see the rigor involved. Below is just the highlights of their first experiment.

"Dr. Robert A. Emmons describes research he carried out with three experimental groups over 10 weeks (Emmons & McCullough, 2003):

1. The first group were asked to write down five things they were grateful for that had happened in the last week for each of the 10 weeks of the study. This was called the gratitude condition.
2. The second group were asked to write down five daily hassles from the previous week. This was the hassles condition.
3. The third group simply listed five events that had occurred in the last week, but not told to focus on positive or negative aspects. This was the events or control condition.

[...]

Before the experiment began participants had kept daily journals to chronicle their moods, physical health and general attitudes. These was then used to provide a comparison for after the experimental intervention.

Happiness up 25%
People who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier – they were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week than those in the hassles or events condition."

 

[Mai72]

I've seen studies that have shown that most people have anywhere between 12-60k thoughts per day. Over 80% are negative and most of our thoughts are repetitive. The same thoughts over and over and over... Ground hog day.

Ive noticed that most people are too caught up in their own heads. Life can change very quickly from OK to bad. Cancer, car accident, loss of job, etc. I practice gratitude daily because I know anything can and will happen. Both good and bad.

Much of my thoughts are negative. It's very difficult for me to have positive thoughts if I don't put the focus on morning gratitude. I think it's crazy most of us live in this amazing country, yet many of us are just unhappy. I've learned to put my feelings away, because I don't have time to dwell on bullsh*t anymore. The chatter at work can be a big drain if I let it. I don't care what he or she said, blah blah blah. Life is so short.

What I Iike to do...

1) Meditation for 5-10 minutes a day. I use the app Calm. Headspace is also a good app.

2) Journal both in the morning and night. It's quick and easy. Only takes a few minutes and when I'm engaged I'll jot down 3 things that I'm grateful for I my life. 2 small things, 1 big.

3) I try to be conscious of my thoughts, and I'm always redirecting myself. Going from negative to positive. Focus, focus, focus.

4) Try to not watch or read about the news. Especially in the morning. IMO, the news has a job and that is to scare and piss you off. Why start the day in a negative state?

Books I'm currently reading..

*Shortness of Life
*Man's Search for Meaning
*The Power of Now

 

[vi edit]

My employer has introduced a recognition program. It's a website you have to log into search for an employee and can send a message thanking or letting them know they did a good job.

Well apparently this was some sort of expectation that wasn't announced it was an expectation. They started doing recognition shaming by emailing to entire departments how long it had been since you sent out a recognition or received a recognition. It listed out all employees by name and what their counts were. If your name was in red you got a nasty gram follow up by your manager that you aren't using the system enough.

That's not exactly how recognition is supposed to work.

 

[Exterous]

My employer has introduced a recognition program. It's a website you have to log into search for an employee and can send a message thanking or letting them know they did a good job.

Well apparently this was some sort of expectation that wasn't announced it was an expectation. They started doing recognition shaming by emailing to entire departments how long it had been since you sent out a recognition or received a recognition. It listed out all employees by name and what their counts were. If your name was in red you got a nasty gram follow up by your manager that you aren't using the system enough.

That's not exactly how recognition is supposed to work.

Yeah that doesn't sound like a very well thought out program

 

[bradly1101]

One of the things I like about my job is that I get to interact with some very interesting people who are, often, very prominent in their fields. I had a fantastic discussion with a professor at a well known Business school about gratitude the other day. It was about the effects of gratitude not only in an organization but on an individual as well.

He showed me some of his presentation slides and these are some of the findings of studies done by Stanford, Harvard, the VA and a wide array of various researchers:

-notable improvement in memory (20-40%)
-faster reaction times
-higher test scores
-higher creativity
-improved focus and learning
-reduction in reports of pain in veterans
-improved cognitive fuctions in PTSD victims
-20% reduction in high blood pressure in hypertensive patients
-75% of arrhythmia patients reported a reduction in symptoms
-more likely to be higher performers at work
-more likely to influence the course of the company

Meanwhile consistent negative interactions with people ("poor social relationships") had a higher increase in 'Probability of Dying' than smoking - 70% vs 50%

And its not like all of these were from people with happy\easy lives either. In addition to the previously mentioned PTSD and medical cases there are indications that improved gratitude leads to improved results for multiple amputee survivors or those who have lost a spouse and\or children.

This thread led me to write this:

Store Manager
Ralphs
2930 E 4th St
Long Beach, CA 90814
December 18, 2017


Dear Madam/Sir,

This letter is to inform you of the exemplary actions of one of your employees, “Nick C.”

He obviously knows what true customer service is, a rarity I’ve noticed in my long years, including my employment in retail, and later in service at Kronos Inc., the company that makes the time clock Nick uses. I’ve been to many Ralphs in southern California, including one where I had to fetch a penny a kid had stuck in the slot for the Hollerith reader before the use of barcodes. Ralphs wisely chose to make the terminals less accessible.

Nick is always so courteous and efficient, continually greeting me with a sincere smile, and asking me how I am, talks of holiday tables, me eating too much, as time allows; he’s fast and accurate. He accommodates my disability with aplomb. If there were more Nicks out there, the world would be a very different place.

He has the uncommon will to put himself in the customer’s shoes.

I cannot help but call out the angels I see on earth. Look forward to grocery shopping? Indeed.


Sincerely,

 

[AMDisTheBEST]

I used to work at a restaurant where my boss would brazenly tell me to make a cup of coffee for him without a word of please or thank you. He does not even use the question form as in “can you make me a cup of coffee?” But rather “make me a cup of coffee”

What a $&!($;,!”:/ a$$hole

 

[bradly1101]

I used to work at a restaurant where my boss would brazenly tell me to make a cup of coffee for him without a word of please or thank you. He does not even use the question form as in “can you make me a cup of coffee?” But rather “make me a cup of coffee”

What a $&!($;,!”:/ a$$hole

Turning that kind of behavior is like pushing Everest around. People need love, but I've learned there's a thin line between showing the boss mucho respect and being seen as a kiss-ass. Always careful with the love, never with the hate.

 

[AMDisTheBEST]

Turning that kind of behavior is like pushing Everest around. People need love, but I've learned there's a thin line between showing the boss mucho respect and being seen as a kiss-ass. Always careful with the love, never with the hate.

It’s hard for me to like the world and people around me. I dream of world burning daily. I desire nothing more than some doomsday device that I can use to end humanity.

 

[highland145]

Who the heck let the N Korean in here?

 

[Perknose]

It’s hard for me to like the world and people around me. I dream of world burning daily. I desire nothing more than some doomsday device that I can use to end humanity.

This is a thread about the salubrious effects of taking some time out each day and openly practicing gratitude in your life. I'm sorry you're in a dark place right now, but the one person best positioned to change that is . . . you.

I bid you go back to the OP in some quieter moment and take it all in. This practice isn't woo-woo, there's actual science behind it. There isn't a person alive who can't benefit from this. You are no exception. Imagine Bob Marley, his eyes dancing, passing you that spliff and saying, "Lively up yourself."

There's light at the end of your tunnel. And it doesn't have to be an oncoming train. But you have to walk the distance to that light yourself.

 

[highland145]

Couldn't just say helpful or beneficial, could you?

 

[bradly1101]

It’s hard for me to like the world and people around me. I dream of world burning daily. I desire nothing more than some doomsday device that I can use to end humanity.

“It's the end of the world every day, for someone.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

I've tried all of the positive thinking stuff and it doesn't work for me. I guess my wiring is messed up? I always come back to the realization that I don't like humans. As George Carlin once said "The planet is fine. People are fucked."
I enjoy wildlife and the land. Just can't stand people. They ruin what would otherwise be heaven on earth. We are an invasive species.

 

[bradly1101]

I've tried all of the positive thinking stuff and it doesn't work for me. I guess my wiring is messed up? I always come back to the realization that I don't like humans. As George Carlin once said "The planet is fine. People are fucked."
I enjoy wildlife and the land. Just can't stand people. They ruin what would otherwise be heaven on earth. We are an invasive species.

Like I said, there are angels out there. And I agree about the humans. Making do with what you've got. Gratitude is like an element, a building block for so much great emotional matter. Dark matter pulls, but is otherwise ignoble.

 

[Exterous]

I've tried all of the positive thinking stuff and it doesn't work for me. I guess my wiring is messed up? I always come back to the realization that I don't like humans.

I don't think your gratitude has to be directed towards humans and I don't think its supposed to make you like things you currently dislike (although your tolerance of those things would likely improve, perhaps to the point of indifference). But by recalling even little positive things you change what you focus on, what you remember and how you handle things. I also don't think this is a fast process for many (most?) people

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

I don't think your gratitude has to be directed towards humans and I don't think its supposed to make you like things you currently dislike (although your tolerance of those things would likely improve, perhaps to the point of indifference). But by recalling even little positive things you change what you focus on, what you remember and how you handle things. I also don't think this is a fast process for many (most?) people

Grateful to what? I suppose I'm thankful I'm not laying in a puddle of my own piss in an alley somewhere. Thank you to myself for working a job and not taking up habits like smoking crack.

 

[shortylickens]

Grateful to what? I suppose I'm thankful I'm not laying in a puddle of my own piss in an alley somewhere. Thank you to myself for working a job and not taking up habits like smoking crack.

Once in a while, yes. It could have been a lot worse for you and its healthy to appreciate what you have.

But I suppose most of the time you should also work towards bigger and better things. And if you cant, try to make life better for other people.

 

[FIVR]

What about the dark side of the force? Is there any research that shows that by properly focusing my anger and hatred I can obtain telekinetic powers?


There must be SOME advantage to being angry and miserable, considering how many people seem to be in that state constantly yet lead such otherwise enviable lives.

 

[bradly1101]

Grateful to what?

This forum? Using a prismatic lexicon, extracting all the colors of the mind in cyberspace, strangely with more empathy than hate. A nod to your negativity, we've all been there, without it we wouldn't know which way was up.

 

[bradly1101]

What about the dark side of the force? Is there any research that shows that by properly focusing my anger and hatred I can obtain telekinetic powers?


There must be SOME advantage to being angry and miserable, considering how many people seem to be in that state constantly yet lead such otherwise enviable lives.

The Death Star could destroy a peaceful planet, tons of love snuffed out in an instant, but who doesn't know war? Anger, misery, and envy are in opposition to the moment, the only place it all really exists. To quote Yoda,

"All his life has he looked away…to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.”

"You will find only what you bring in.”

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will."

http://brightdrops.com/yoda-quotes (24)

http://www.starwars.com/news/8-great-life-teachings-from-yoda

Darth got your throat?

 

[bradly1101]

I suppose I'm thankful I'm not laying in a puddle of my own piss in an alley somewhere. Thank you to myself for working a job and not taking up habits like smoking crack.

OILFIELDTRASH, I assume you work in the fields. They can be a bit of a downer. I remember an install at one in Oildale near Bakersfield. Desolation pockmarked with nodding machines. A little, mechanical oasis to feed my lead foot. It certainly wasn't King's Canyon, not all that far away up out of Fresno.

That was OK, my next stop was the nearby, new, gleaming Frito Lay plant. They took me around. Entire semi trucks, cab and all, trailers loaded with potatoes, being tilted up to unload tons in an instant. The peeler, like a gigantic washing machine, tumbling clean the source of all the money to build the place. The cutters, that day with ridges for Ruffles. The roiling fryer. The final line with the chip-fall, image sensors and little puffs of air to reject the too dark ones (cool), my contact sticking his hand in to share some still warm chips for me to try, I'm not a big fan, but they were delicious! The complicated packaging machines. I had to wear a hairnet, but it was fabulous.

Oops, had some fun in all this misery.

That oil under your fingernails is a badge of honor. If you do work in oil, you must see 'Giant', a movie partly chronicling its rise, its power, its hope bubbling up like Texas tea. A must-have in modernity. Your work is appreciated.

Beauty in everything. Muted colors, as rich as you want to make them.

 

[bradly1101]

I'm proud of these, and incredibly humbled. Gratitude is like a net, capturing mutual respect, the brine unaffected. I hope I don't seem like a braggart, my intention is to show what appreciation can imbue.

(Dr. Dieb misspelled my first name)

Gratitude.

 

[renz20003]

Meh old news, knowledge of this has been around since the 60's.

The Grateful Dead

 

[paperfist]

I see there's no short term effects of this. It's the same in my research, no one seems to care about small doses of gratitude.

 

[Exterous]

Grateful to what? I suppose I'm thankful I'm not laying in a puddle of my own piss in an alley somewhere. Thank you to myself for working a job and not taking up habits like smoking crack.

Well I don't know your life but you appear to have electricity and access to the internet and post on a largely western world population website so I am assuming you aren't in a war torn African country trying to scrounge for scraps of food while avoiding torture from the warring religious fanatics. So thats probably a plus. I think its more about what you choose to focus on so it doesn't have to be grandiose generalizations but could be something as simple as "I'm grateful I didn't have to wait for a pump at a gas station for the first time in a while". Looking for positive even in small places makes it easier to see the positive overall and remember the positives over the negatives. There have been studies done for those with PTSD, paralysis, amputations, spouse\child loss etc showing that they are able to benefit from this so I think most people are able to benefit with the right mindset and effort