The "dang it I wish I would have thought of that then" comeback thread

[foghorn67]

Road rage guy yelling at you....

response: "Hey, is that your mom's car? It was in my driveway last night."

 

[E equals MC2]

Originally posted by: foghorn67
Road rage guy yelling at you....

response: "Hey, is that your mom's car? It was in my driveway last night."

Be sure to wear Kevlar when you say this.

 

[Injury]

What about "Why don't you Derrlique my balls?"

 

[Legendary]

You think you're too cool for school. Well guess what buddy............you're NOT!

 

[KeithTalent]

I'm rubber you're glue...

KT

 

[BudAshes]

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
Yeah. Like the other day, I was buying some donuts, and some stranger said, "I think you've had enough." And it shocked me so much that I couldn't even think of a response. Later on that night, I came up with the perfect retort: "Fuck you, you worthless fucking shitcock assfuck douchenozzle cum-guzzling gutter slut dumpster-diving waste-of-space white trash beloved patriot fuckwit bitchass dipshit hoe-bitch wise and beautiful woman-rag smegma-licking shit-ass fuckface with bitch tits and rectal warts. You're so dirty your pubic lice have crabs. And those crabs have herpes. And they got those herpes from you, you disease ridden piece of shit. If there were any justice in the world, you would be permanently engulfed in flames. Choke on a dick and die."

The things you think of when it's just too late...

Hahahah tubby.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Originally posted by: SnipeMasterJ13

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy

Originally posted by: sirjonk
"Well the Jerk Store called and they're running out of you!"

ED: damnit, 2nd post beat me

By like half an hour... I know, I know, reading at least one reply in a thread before responding is too much to ask.

Lol. Harsh, but pretty much true.

You wish you had thought of it, don't you? Admit it! And it's not that harsh, jonk knows I love him (and he calls me on my shit all the time anyway; I have get vengeance occasionally).

Originally posted by: BudAshes

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
Yeah. Like the other day, I was buying some donuts, and some stranger said, "I think you've had enough." And it shocked me so much that I couldn't even think of a response. Later on that night, I came up with the perfect retort: "Fuck you, you worthless fucking shitcock assfuck douchenozzle cum-guzzling gutter slut dumpster-diving waste-of-space white trash beloved patriot fuckwit bitchass dipshit hoe-bitch wise and beautiful woman-rag smegma-licking shit-ass fuckface with bitch tits and rectal warts. You're so dirty your pubic lice have crabs. And those crabs have herpes. And they got those herpes from you, you disease ridden piece of shit. If there were any justice in the world, you would be permanently engulfed in flames. Choke on a dick and die."

The things you think of when it's just too late...

Hahahah tubby.

The worst part is I just made that story up so I could use a lot of swear words. I couldn't think of a situation where someone would say something needing a comeback and not have it be a fat joke.... I don't know why, I'm not even fat (5'10" 165 lbs). But our society does like to pick on the fatties (which is ironic given just how fat our society is).

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: jndietz
where did you get your clothes?

that toilet... store?

hey! i will take your mother out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!

 

[HammerCurl]

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy

Originally posted by: SnipeMasterJ13

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy

Originally posted by: sirjonk
"Well the Jerk Store called and they're running out of you!"

ED: damnit, 2nd post beat me

By like half an hour... I know, I know, reading at least one reply in a thread before responding is too much to ask.

Lol. Harsh, but pretty much true.

You wish you had thought of it, don't you? Admit it! And it's not that harsh, jonk knows I love him (and he calls me on my shit all the time anyway; I have get vengeance occasionally).

Originally posted by: BudAshes

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
Yeah. Like the other day, I was buying some donuts, and some stranger said, "I think you've had enough." And it shocked me so much that I couldn't even think of a response. Later on that night, I came up with the perfect retort: "Fuck you, you worthless fucking shitcock assfuck douchenozzle cum-guzzling gutter slut dumpster-diving waste-of-space white trash beloved patriot fuckwit bitchass dipshit hoe-bitch wise and beautiful woman-rag smegma-licking shit-ass fuckface with bitch tits and rectal warts. You're so dirty your pubic lice have crabs. And those crabs have herpes. And they got those herpes from you, you disease ridden piece of shit. If there were any justice in the world, you would be permanently engulfed in flames. Choke on a dick and die."

The things you think of when it's just too late...

Hahahah tubby.

The worst part is I just made that story up so I could use a lot of swear words. I couldn't think of a situation where someone would say something needing a comeback and not have it be a fat joke.... I don't know why, I'm not even fat (5'10" 165 lbs). But our society does like to pick on the fatties (which is ironic given just how fat our society is).

People hate what they see in themselves.

 

[jaqie]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
Wow, between the baby-horse-standing-up-for-the-first-time style of defending yourself and the extreme oversensitivity, you must be a lot of fun to hang out with.
Let me guess...fat joke, right?

Actually, my friends and I love hanging out.
What does me being fat have to do with anything? To be honest, I haven't had anyone make fun of my weight at all in years, not that I would care. I know I'm overweight! I think this question speaks of your sexism more then anything else. I doubt you would have said the same had it been a male that posted this.

I don't give a shit about the kind of people that would deride their friends, that is just the type of person I am, and, I find, my friends tend to be like that as well.

Although a big part of it has to do with my high functioning autism (better known as asperger's syndrome) and being physically unable to tell sarcasm of this kind from sincere derision.

I am not your usual person. I care nothing to hide my problems and accept them in the open. If someone has a problem with it, it's their problem to deal with, not mine.

 

[Lalakai]

you dropped your "I'm a Moron" button

your friend wearing the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt, is looking for you

tell them to change your meds until you can at least look intelligent

you been listening to Judge Judy too much

I see that you ran through the Ugly Forest and got hit by every stick on the path

I might be fat, but i can diet. Being ugly and stupid is a lost cause

you are the poster child of why siblings shouldn't be allowed to have kids

at least you don't have hairy palms, but sorry to see that it affected your face that way

didn't i see you on MySpace with that sheep?? did someone pay you to do that?


lol and whole bunches more. growing up with big family can teach you some good survival skills but perhaps a bit dubious in application.

 

[PlasmaBomb]

Originally posted by: slayer202
after they diss you, just yell "YOUR MOM"

Your mum = admitting fail

 

[Injury]

Originally posted by: Lalakai
you dropped your "I'm a Moron" button

your friend wearing the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt, is looking for you

tell them to change your meds until you can at least look intelligent

you been listening to Judge Judy too much

I see that you ran through the Ugly Forest and got hit by every stick on the path

I might be fat, but i can diet. Being ugly and stupid is a lost cause

you are the poster child of why siblings shouldn't be allowed to have kids

at least you don't have hairy palms, but sorry to see that it affected your face that way

didn't i see you on MySpace with that sheep?? did someone pay you to do that?


lol and whole bunches more. growing up with big family can teach you some good survival skills but perhaps a bit dubious in application.

Those sound like the things you'd see written on T-shirts from a crappy department store that you always see trashy people wearing.

 

[rival]

no

 

[altonb1]

what about the classic "Fvck you?"

 

[Saint Nick]

Originally posted by: rival
no

a++ post would read again

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
If there were any justice in the world, you would be permanently engulfed in flames.

That's hot.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.