The Confidence Thread

[skywalker66]

Okay,

We all know that apparently women dig confidence in men, in fact that's the number one thing they dig,
its been rumored to be digged by women more than a man's appearance, and in a sense it is equivalent in importance to a woman as the appearances of a girl are important to a man,

But what I wanna know is, is confidence really that important? and if so, why?

the reason I ask why, is beacuse someone's outward level of confidence really hardly tells you a thing about the person themself, in fact i find it even more shallow and less helpful than appearances, at least with appearances your eyes can fall in love with something.

But seriously, what does confidence tell you about the person at all? Can't a man be able to protect himself and his gal, and be successful in life, even though he displays a low self confidence outwardly?

I mean there are so many other attributes out there that I think would matter more, such as whether they are a good person, intellegent, ATTRACTIVE (women really need to give this trait more credit in men) , whether they can make u laugh, etc.

And seriously, men can still approach women and talk to them even though they might feel a little shy inside, so its not like low self confidence would prevent meeting someone necessarily.

I know a good number of people who look good, are smart, and are going to make a lot of money someday, even though they dont appear to have a high level of self confidence,


what may I ask does confidence tell you at all about the person??

really it seems even MORE shallow than appearances.


--------------


And beyond all that I have 3 big questions:


1. What are some examples of how a woman could observe a man has a high self confidence?

2. What are some examples of how a woman could observe a man has a high self confidence?

3. (a) Is self confidence really that big a deal? I mean really, compared to all the other traits out there.

3. (b)and finally, Women, If you could rate these traits in importance, what order would they go in (going from most important to least important):
confidence, appearances, intelligence, good character, humorous, friendly.

 

[dugweb]

what do you define as confident? arrogent? not many people like an arrogent person... confidence to me means comfortable with themselves, not afraid to try something new.

So pretty much i guess that translates into a confident person has more fun than a less confident person which may attract teh females better. Also a confident person sortof stands out.

edit: 1000

 

[abc]

Originally posted by: skywalker66
Okay,

We all know that apparently women dig confidence in men, in fact that's the number one thing they dig,
its been rumored to be digged by women more than a man's appearance, and in a sense it is equivalent in importance to a woman as the appearances of a girl are important to a man,

But what I wanna know is, is confidence really that important? and if so, why?

the reason I ask why, is beacuse someone's outward level of confidence really hardly tells you a thing about the person themself, in fact i find it even more shallow and less helpful than appearances, at least with appearances your eyes can fall in love with something.

But seriously, what does confidence tell you about the person at all? Can't a man be able to protect himself and his gal, and be successful in life, even though he displays a low self confidence outwardly?

I mean there are so many other attributes out there that I think would matter more, such as whether they are a good person, intellegent, ATTRACTIVE (women really need to give this trait more credit in men) , whether they can make u laugh, etc.

And seriously, men can still approach women and talk to them even though they might feel a little shy inside, so its not like low self confidence would prevent meeting someone necessarily.

I know a good number of people who look good, are smart, and are going to make a lot of money someday, even though they dont appear to have a high level of self confidence,


what may I ask does confidence tell you at all about the person??

really it seems even MORE shallow than appearances.


--------------


And beyond all that I have 3 big questions:


1. What are some examples of how a woman could observe a man has a high self confidence?

2. What are some examples of how a woman could observe a man has a high self confidence?

3. (a) Is self confidence really that big a deal? I mean really, compared to all the other traits out there.

3. (b)and finally, Women, If you could rate these traits in importance, what order would they go in (going from most important to least important):
confidence, appearances, intelligence, good character, humorous, friendly.

skywalker, things must have intrigued you enough to have such depth in this, and i generally am with you.

just some quick thoughts,

if i were a female - a woman, i'd like to put weight on such things as to what extent the guy uses his looks to his advantage, or refrains from - even though he's handsome... to what extent his ethics and morals are, his relation to his family and attitude towards children, his honesty and work ethic, his depth of knowledge of everyday and world things, a mild sense of humor (ability to seek to make light of some moments)... 'he must be able to make me laugh' is not it, that's asking for a performance.. and most teenage 'girls' would not be mature enough to think/desire these characteristics, or a woman not looking for somebody long term.

I've thought about this, and these are actually similar things that I could look for in a female, actually.

now with confidence, sometimes when think they 'test' a guy's confidence level by whether or not he can successfully initiate/carry a conversation with her. In otherwords she uses her looks to test him, whether or not he gets nervous or not. this is totally wrong, it does not test all aspects of confidence. A guy could be nothing more than a smooth talker, and the guy that does not seem to be engaging can have confidence and brawn in other aspects of his life, such as at work, caring for his loved ones, etc.

on the other hand, some women see the other side of it and feel safety in finding a guy that has less confidence - of this kind, social confidence?. these could be women hoping for a guy that would be less inclined to stray.

the other thing women sometimes put weight in for the wrong reason is attraction to a guy's ambition. they see a guy with a highlevel position in banking (classic example) and they think this guy is confident and ambitious, determined, etc... but this guy can also be only good at that for himself. you marry this guy and you find out he doesn't do anything around the house, he only knows his job, etc. but you do the housework because you think it's the least you can do for all he does... hence the reality of seeking somebody so 'ambitious'.

 

[AreaCode707]

The reason confidence is an attention-getter is that it's someone who has confidence that will project their personality. When someone is confident about themself, they are more willing to talk about themself, open up, and be honest. It makes it much easier to get to know someone, and increases feeling comfortable. It's much easier to tell if you're compatible with someone who's confident - with someone who's not confident, you may be compatible but it's much harder to tell.

 

[psydancerqt]

a person who has confidence is going to be more independent than someone who is lacking confidence. a confident walks into a room proud of who he is. make sure you arent mistaking me for someone who simply is high on himself. there is a difference! i dont think confidence is a big deal, but it doesnt hurt either.

these are hard to put in order..

if you are ugly, who's going to approach you? so if you are ugly, you better be confident and humorous to get girls attention. with confidence, you'll also be friendly. intelligence is a must with me. i'm not gonna date someone dumb! a good character is important for someone i'd want to spend time with. and if you are good looking, then you will be approached, but you need other traits to keep the girl interested in you!

 

[UNCjigga]

Dude this movie is gonna rock!

Can't wait!

 

[ROTC1983]

Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
Dude this movie is gonna rock!

Can't wait!

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: Hatari Chic
The reason confidence is an attention-getter is that it's someone who has confidence that will project their personality. When someone is confident about themself, they are more willing to talk about themself, open up, and be honest. It makes it much easier to get to know someone, and increases feeling comfortable. It's much easier to tell if you're compatible with someone who's confident - with someone who's not confident, you may be compatible but it's much harder to tell.

Paige is right as usual.

It's worth noting that confidence is a two way street. I certainly would not want to date a woman who was not comfortable with herself.

ZV