The ATOT Zombie Survival Guide

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XMan

XMan

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
12,513
49
91
All right, folks. Seems like zombies are becoming "cool" again, what with the comic The Walking Dead, and new Romero films for the first time in what seems like forever.

There is a "real" Zombie Survival Guide (see Amazon) but I thought it would be interesting to see all of your takes. What would YOU do if the dead rose to life, if society ground to a halt - if <gasp!> the Internet was gone?

This should be fun! :D
 
S

Swag1138

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2000
3,444
0
0
I would offer myself to the zombies cause, hey, life as a shuffling, brain-dead automoton isnt the WORST thing that could happen.


Plus, Im lazy.
 
G

ggnl

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
5,095
1
0
I would say goodbye to any wacky black friends, because they always get killed first.
 
J

jagec

Lifer
Apr 30, 2004
24,442
6
81
Get a bulldozer/tank, live in a house with a closed garage, and whenever I need to go anywhere just drive the bulldozer/tank. Zombies can't touch that.

I'd imagine some of the "zombie game shows" at the end of Shawn of the Dead could be set up rather easily and provide much amusement, too...
 
XMan

XMan

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
12,513
49
91
Originally posted by: jagec
Get a bulldozer/tank, live in a house with a closed garage, and whenever I need to go anywhere just drive the bulldozer/tank. Zombies can't touch that.

I'd imagine some of the "zombie game shows" at the end of Shawn of the Dead could be set up rather easily and provide much amusement, too...
Click to expand...

"You sleep with it?!?"

"Well, he's still my husband, and I love him."

...

 
Zanix

Zanix

Diamond Member
Feb 11, 2003
5,568
12
81
Leave your house or stay? I think I'd leave. Need shotguns and machetes.
 
W

Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
1
0
I would develop perpetual energy chambers. It's a simple concept really. Zombies apparently defy the laws of thermodynamics in that they are able to move about unceasingly with no means of metabolizing food into energy. "But Wallydraigle, zombies eat brains and stuff!" That's true, but this is apparently not necessary for zombie survival. In all my years of watching horror movies I've never seen a zombie starve to death because he can't get any brains. This is in part due to the ready availability of 18-29 year old brains, and partly due to the fact that zombies are already dead, and cannot die. They don't have a heartbeat, so no circulation either. Any brains they do eat just end up sitting in their rotten stomachs until they are pushed through their fetid bowels by the eating of subsequent brains. Do zombies poo? I don't know. Maybe if they eat too many brains they just pop like a seagull that eats Alka-Seltzer. That would suck, but if you're already dead I guess it wouldn't matter anyway. Zombies eat brains because they like to. That's just what they do. It's their only joy in existence. If zombies didn't run around eating brains all night then they would just be pointless and no one would make movies about them anyway.

So onto the perpetual energy chambers. Apparently all that is needed is to round up a bunch of zombies, throw them into a sealed chamber from which they cannot escape, with a really big treadmill as a floor. Place brains at the far end of the chamber, and the zombies run (shuffle? shamble? they "move" in some manner) forever towards the brains, which they can never ever get to, and so they continue to chase them for all time, all the while producing electricity from the generators attached to the giant treadmills. If you want to get fany you can use some of the electricity generated by the zombies to produce a "hologram" of the brains so you don't have to continue to add real brains as they rot away.

Maintenance on such a system would be a bitch. If one ever broke down it would probably be better to abandon it and start over in another site with fresh zombies.

That's what I would do.
 
Zanix

Zanix

Diamond Member
Feb 11, 2003
5,568
12
81
Originally posted by: Wallydraigle
I would develop perpetual energy chambers. It's a simple concept really. Zombies apparently defy the laws of thermodynamics in that they are able to move about unceasingly with no means of metabolizing food into energy. "But Wallydraigle, zombies eat brains and stuff!" That's true, but this is apparently not necessary for zombie survival. In all my years of watching horror movies I've never seen a zombie starve to death because he can't get any brains. This is in part due to the ready availability of 18-29 year old brains, and partly due to the fact that zombies are already dead, and cannot die. Zombies eat brains because they like to. That's just what they do. If zombies didn't run around eating brains all night then they would just be pointless and no one would make movies about them anyway.

So onto the perpetual energy chambers. Apparently all that is needed is to round up a bunch of zombies, throw them into a sealed chamber from which they cannot escape, with a really big treadmill as a floor. Place brains at the far end of the chamber, and the zombies run (shuffle? shamble? they "move" in some manner) forever towards the brains, which they can never ever get to, and so they continue to chase them for all time, all the while producing electricity from the generators attached to the giant treadmills. If you want to get fany you can use some of the electricity generated by the zombies to produce a "hologram" of the brains so you don't have to continue to add real brains as they rot away.

Maintenence on such a system would be a bitch. If one ever broke down it would probably be better to abandon it and start over in another site with fresh zombies.

That's what I would do.
Click to expand...



Good idea. I imagine one falling down and breaking it's legs off though, and ruining it. that would be dangerous to clean them out. Well maybe not. Just blast them in the head from above. Then fresh zombies.

Puss buckets.
 
A

ATLien247

Diamond Member
Feb 1, 2000
4,597
0
0
Originally posted by: Wallydraigle
I would develop perpetual energy chambers. It's a simple concept really. Zombies apparently defy the laws of thermodynamics in that they are able to move about unceasingly with no means of metabolizing food into energy. "But Wallydraigle, zombies eat brains and stuff!" That's true, but this is apparently not necessary for zombie survival. In all my years of watching horror movies I've never seen a zombie starve to death because he can't get any brains. This is in part due to the ready availability of 18-29 year old brains, and partly due to the fact that zombies are already dead, and cannot die. They don't have a heartbeat, so no circulation either. Any brains they do eat just end up sitting in their rotten stomachs until they are pushed through their fetid bowels by the eating of subsequent brains. Do zombies poo? I don't know. Maybe if they eat too many brains they just pop like a seagull that eats Alka-Seltzer. That would suck, but if you're already dead I guess it wouldn't matter anyway. Zombies eat brains because they like to. That's just what they do. It's their only joy in existence. If zombies didn't run around eating brains all night then they would just be pointless and no one would make movies about them anyway.

So onto the perpetual energy chambers. Apparently all that is needed is to round up a bunch of zombies, throw them into a sealed chamber from which they cannot escape, with a really big treadmill as a floor. Place brains at the far end of the chamber, and the zombies run (shuffle? shamble? they "move" in some manner) forever towards the brains, which they can never ever get to, and so they continue to chase them for all time, all the while producing electricity from the generators attached to the giant treadmills. If you want to get fany you can use some of the electricity generated by the zombies to produce a "hologram" of the brains so you don't have to continue to add real brains as they rot away.

Maintenance on such a system would be a bitch. If one ever broke down it would probably be better to abandon it and start over in another site with fresh zombies.

That's what I would do.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure that the infected people in 28 Days would be considered zombies or not, but if they were, then there you have one example of zombies starving to death...
 
T

TwoMix

Senior member
Aug 1, 2001
573
0
0
The lady laughed when i bought this from Borders!
I'm prepared w/ my 10' chainlink fence.
 
D

DaFinn

Diamond Member
Jan 24, 2002
4,725
0
0
You bunch of zombie racists. You should not stereotype all zombies. Just go and say hi. It may be fun!!! ;)
 
MaxDepth

MaxDepth

Diamond Member
Jun 12, 2001
8,757
43
91
This is my BOOM stick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
 
M

MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
With current temperatures, I'd only have to survive for 45 minutes until the zombies froze solid outside. At which point, the Behead-a-thon begins.

Ohhh Canada ..... :D

- M4H
 
C

captains

Diamond Member
Mar 27, 2003
4,065
1
0
i would surround my self with a bunch of necrofeliatcts (sp).....they wouldnt have a chance at getting me
 
A

agnitrate

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2001
3,761
1
0
Originally posted by: captains
i would surround my self with a bunch of necrofeliatcts (sp).....they wouldnt have a chance at getting me
Click to expand...

not even close.

-silver
 
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