- Jun 17, 2001
- 55,413
- 1,570
- 126
I'm in college, and everyday I walk by people who should be shot for what they are wearing. Since I get asked a few times a day about what to wear, I decided to write a guide for all of you unfashionable people out there. This isn't about being a pansy metrosexual, it's about looking like you just came out of the hood when you're actually a well off middle class white person.
From the top down...
Cologne:
If you don't smell like weed, then you should go hotbox in your car. This is the greatest smell you can achieve, because you enter this little secret society when you smell like weed. People look at you, and they just know you're stoned. You come to class, all your classmates know that you're stoned, and you just feel liek the shiet.
Hair:
The pantyhose over the head look is in. See the rappers on mtv? yeah like that. Extra points if you have a mullet and it's hanging out the back. put a bandaid on your cheek too.
Teeth:
Teeth looking a little dull? Try platinum plating them. BLING BLING!~
Accessories (necklaces, rings, watches):
The more the merrier. Large, huge, outrageous chains, $ signs, rings, EVERYTHING. More bling = more cool. Got it?
Shirts:
Large outrageously fitting jersey's. Yes it's okay to wear an iverson jersey even if you're a 5'5 scrawny white kid. You'll be ballin out of control in no time.
Undershirts:
wife beater. always.
Jeans:
Only if you wear it backwards, ala Kris Kross
Khakis:
What? Who do you think you are, white?
No seriously guys, basketball shorts, hanging down to your ankles. Or track pants, with one pant leg rolled up.
Shoes:
Get the most outrageous pair you can, that matches nothing. Yellow puma's are a big plus.
Laundry:
Never wash anything. You must maintain that "i'm a pothead" smell for as long as possible.
Lastly, if you?re in a store, and you need help deciding on a pair of pants for a shirt, etc, just grab the biggest thing you can find. You'll look pimp, trust me.
From the top down...
Cologne:
If you don't smell like weed, then you should go hotbox in your car. This is the greatest smell you can achieve, because you enter this little secret society when you smell like weed. People look at you, and they just know you're stoned. You come to class, all your classmates know that you're stoned, and you just feel liek the shiet.
Hair:
The pantyhose over the head look is in. See the rappers on mtv? yeah like that. Extra points if you have a mullet and it's hanging out the back. put a bandaid on your cheek too.
Teeth:
Teeth looking a little dull? Try platinum plating them. BLING BLING!~
Accessories (necklaces, rings, watches):
The more the merrier. Large, huge, outrageous chains, $ signs, rings, EVERYTHING. More bling = more cool. Got it?
Shirts:
Large outrageously fitting jersey's. Yes it's okay to wear an iverson jersey even if you're a 5'5 scrawny white kid. You'll be ballin out of control in no time.
Undershirts:
wife beater. always.
Jeans:
Only if you wear it backwards, ala Kris Kross
Khakis:
What? Who do you think you are, white?
No seriously guys, basketball shorts, hanging down to your ankles. Or track pants, with one pant leg rolled up.
Shoes:
Get the most outrageous pair you can, that matches nothing. Yellow puma's are a big plus.
Laundry:
Never wash anything. You must maintain that "i'm a pothead" smell for as long as possible.
Lastly, if you?re in a store, and you need help deciding on a pair of pants for a shirt, etc, just grab the biggest thing you can find. You'll look pimp, trust me.
Facebook
Twitter