Thanks Anandtech for being there

[dullard]

I just wanted to let everyone know how much you've helped me get through the past year. I've kept mostly silent of my problems, and most of you don't know about them, but the thanks goes to everyone. Just the fact that there are fun discussions on other subjects has kept me halfway sane and somewhat happy. I appreciate it.

If anyone wants the story background, read this long thread. Too many different discussions going on there, so I started a new one.

A couple of days ago, my wife (over 10 years together, started as highschool sweethearts) stopped wearing her wedding ring. Today she told me she is set on moving out. She doesn't want a divorce, but wants to think about things. I honestly can't imagine getting back together. There will be too much of a chasm between us. I am too hurt. She has wanted separation in the past - fool me once shame on her, fool me 3 times, shame on me. I think I'd be a fool to get back together and have this happen all over again in 3 more years.

I've spent the last month working nearly 100% of my free time since my wife refuses to spend a minute with me. I'd do my normal job (somewhat poorly as I kept coming to ATOT too much) during the day. Then in the evenings, I'd come to a new building my boss bought and did renovations with him and his buddies. Knocking down walls, pulling up carpet, and shattering tiles for hours on end helped get out frustrations. But unfortunately, we are almost done and I have no clue what to do now in the evenings.

I've tried to be less shy. As some of you know I love to dance (ballroom, latin, swing, etc) but my wife being a dance instructor pretty much has that scene covered. I went to one club with people my age and for the most part got rejected repeatedly - even by people who always wanted to dance with me in the past. For an extremely shy person, thats tough. I had to leave early since I was hogging a table all myself and others wanted it.

Hanging out with my boss and his friends has helped my shyness too. I just can't get that close to them though. They are heavy drinkers and pot smokers every night and that just isn't my thing. Plus they are twice my age, so we have a lot less in common. We did have some good times though and I'll try to continue spending time with them.

Other than that, I have virtually no friends. I was asked to a party for a coworker and went. It was difficult but I managed to have a few small chats with strangers. I got everyone there sick (cold/bronchitis) and they have all been seeing doctors for the last two weeks. I tried online gaming for some social interaction, but my video card is busted (I can't figure out if the memory is bad or if my power supply won't give it enough juice). Online hearts took its place as did Anandtech forums.

I can't get the nonstop suicide thoughts out of my head. Don't worry, I won't go through with it. I just wish there was a way around it. Sliding on the ice with my car and distroying the wheel, controling arm, and some sort of link didn't help the matter. Only $100 in repairs though so that was good.

I just wanted to say thanks again for keeping me sane and distracted from life. Keep the useless time-cosuming yet fun threads coming.

CliffNotes: I'm miserable. Thanks for cheering me up.

 

[Ketteringo]

Cliffs?

 

[neonerd]

Originally posted by: Ketteringo
Cliffs?

Cliffs

 

[BlueWeasel]

I remember that thread without having to click on it. I know it's tough and it sounds like you've been unlucky with some of the other non-marriage events lately. Things will pick up, though.

 

[neonerd]

Originally posted by: BlueWeasel
I remember that thread without having to click on it. I know it's tough and it sounds like you've been unlucky with some of the other non-marriage events lately. Things will pick up, though.

:thumbsup:

as I said in the other thread, just stay strong, everything will turn out for the better

 

Keep your head up man, things will get better. If you live near seattle, ill take you for a beer.

 

[BlueWeasel]

Originally posted by: buck
Keep your head up man, things will get better. If you live near seattle, ill take you for a beer.

IIRC, I think Dullard's in Nebraska.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Okay, I'm going to try to help you...

1) Buy a new video card and a better power supply.
2) Load up the video games
3) Play till you've conquered the world
4) ...
5) Profit

Hey, what did you expect? This is a computer forum after all.

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: buck
Keep your head up man, things will get better. If you live near seattle, ill take you for a beer.

It's a long drive there (Nebraska). So heres the beer: :beer:.

 

[z0mb13]

buy a new vid card and play WOW...

 

[JulesMaximus]

Seriously though. I know how tough it is to go through a breakup. Not on that scale but I've been there. Best thing I've found is to go out and do things with friends and family as much as possible. Whatever you do don't be alone all the time.

Maybe try to change some things about yourself that you don't like. Try a new sport. Get into a new exercise routine or perhaps any exercise routine. Take an art class or a music appreciation class. Do something that you might have always wanted to do but didn't.

Don't try to meet someone right away. I'd focus on other things and eventually when you start enjoying life you'll meet someone.

 

[kranky]

dullard, I'm sure it's not very pleasant at the moment, but things will absolutely turn around for you. I hate to hear about a marriage breaking up. I hope all that could be done to fix things up was tried.

But if it can't be repaired, then moving on will be the first step in improving things.

I have to believe that if you love to dance, you can find a woman to dance with. There are so many women who complain about never having the opportunity. What about a dance class at your community college, even if you don't really need the instruction? Or maybe another non-credit class will give you the chance to meet new people.

Things will improve sooner than you might think. Best of luck to you!

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Hey, you can't that old, there's still time to live life. Maybe go travel for a bit or something.

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: xSkyDrAx
Hey, you can't that old, there's still time to live life. Maybe go travel for a bit or something.

Anyone know how the peace corps are?

 

[TheLonelyPhoenix]

No matter how bad life gets, you are still an Elite Member to us.

Take care of yourself and keep your chin up.

 

[AStar617]

Keep your chin up buddy. :beer:

 

[Actaeon]

I remember the thread. I wish the best of luck to you. I often come here because I think this community we have here is great. Alot of funny guys all around, so much laughter, it can cheer anyone up.

Goodluck!

 

[darkswordsman17]

I remember that thread too.

Keep your chin up man, you sound more like someone that'd be fun to meet than 90% of these fake toxic wastes of life that seem to populate most of the places around here.

 

[SuperSix]

Originally posted by: Ketteringo
Cliffs?

Fvck off - sometimes you should just read the goddamn post.

PMing you Dullard.

 

[meltdown75]

CliffNotes: I'm miserable. Thanks for cheering me up.

np

 

[Ninepepper]

Although I don't have a "oh you'll be o.k." and a "keep your chin up" speech, I do think you need to hear this

I went through a rough patch a while back. We were not married, but about as close as you could come. Like yours, the relationship went on too long, well past the point of ressurection, and it was painful. One night while crying in my beer, I had a friend look me in the eye and say something that completly changed things around. I only hope it can help you in the same manner it helped me.

He said to me:

"How old are you? Are you still in High School?"

It was like a light shone down that became my mantra.

Again, I don't know if it will help, but you have to recognize the situation for what it is and move on. SELF PRESERVATION is the order of the day right now. You are strong, obviously otherwise your suicidal thoughts would have blossomed to more than thoughts. Recognize you are not defined by the view others have of you whoever the he77 they are (and certainly not by a woman who hurt you). Find what it is that brings you joy and enjoy it, others be damed.

And it may be a harsh, hurtfull, and unfeeling thing to say but recognize the Drama for what it is......Drama dictated by society.

The sooner you recognize that NOW it is a matter of your CURRENT SELF, rather than a matter of WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT COULD BE, the easier it will be to move on

look out for A#1

 

[lokiju]

I remember the original thread very well, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't take a turn for the better with her but all I can say is that when things go rough for so long, theres going to be a lot of good times to follow.

You sound like a decent enough of a guy and I think in time you'll be happier than ever.

Good luck!

 

[MrDingleDangle]

have you ever thought about traveling? seeing the world? there is a lot out there...


not that I have traveled a lot, but everytime i do it puts a new perspective on life

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: MrDingleDangle
have you ever thought about traveling? seeing the world? there is a lot out there...

not that I have traveled a lot, but everytime i do it puts a new perspective on life

Wife and I spent our first anniversary while in Germany for a whole summer. Last year I took several business trips (Japan, California, Washington DC). It just doesn't do much for me if I'm not with a friend.

My advisor in college wants me to go with him to South Africa (he is South African) for a couple weeks this summer. He wants to show off my research. I'll probably go (we just need to make certain the research is ready).

Have a good night everyone. I don't normally post on weekends, but I'll say its a 50% chance I'll come back this weekend and see whats going on.

 

[Sheepathon]

<3