Testicle Stroking Agency: Had your balls cupped yet?

[Cogman]

http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/01/airport_securit_12.html

When it comes to airport security I've always loved schneier's opinion on it. It is all security theater. The moment a terrorist enters an airport with some sort of weapon of terrorism, security has failed. He doesn't even have to get on the plan. Security should happen before a person gets to their target, not after.

Checking for every contingency of how someone could blow up a plane is retarded as there are literally infinite ways one could hide explosives. Yet, we always try and put in security measures that check for the last way that was used.. That is the most ineffective way to stop an attack.

 

[ericlp]

Maybe they should come out with a robot to squeeze and prod! Tho, most people would be buying them for them for other things! I think it would make flying more enjoyable!

 

[hal2kilo]

Maybe they should come out with a robot to squeeze and prod! Tho, most people would be buying them for them for other things! I think it would make flying more enjoyable!

lol

 

[Jeff7]

While they're feeling around down there, just whisper, "Don't stop."

Maybe they should come out with a robot to squeeze and prod! Tho, most people would be buying them for them for other things! I think it would make flying more enjoyable!

I doubt they'd have a problem with that in Japan. Just do up the robot to look like Hello Kitty, and you're good to go.

 

[Zorba]

I have already made the conscious decision not to fly if I am subjected to the full-body scanners. Not complaining, they can do what they want to do, I just won't give them my money.

It isn't the airlines' fault that the TSA has gone batshit insane.

 

[Darwin333]

ITT: A whole lotta insecure people.

I've done pat-downs. Guess what? Your balls are nothin' special. And they get paid no mind, either.
If you've lost your keys in the couch and you've got your hands down in there fishing for them... are you paying any attention to what the cushions feel like? No, you're looking for keys, not couch. so your brain does you a favor and filters out the background noise.
Same goes when you're patting someone down. You're feeling for things that should not be there -- lumps, hard edges. The feel of clothing and fleshy bits is filtered out.
There's no similarity whatsoever to sexual groping.

So don't be such pansies about it.

Tell ya what, I will allow you to pat down my "naughty bits" but you are only allowed to use your tongue/mouth.

Lets see how your brain filters that out.

 

[Darwin333]

It isn't the airlines' fault that the TSA has gone batshit insane.

Airlines refuse to operate at airports that have retardedly invasive screening performed by the TSA equals problem solved. It is not our fault that they are willing to allow their customers AND employees be subjected to that sort of bullshit.

Seriously, why the hell would an airline allow their pilots to be subjected to that shit. HE IS FLYING THE FUCKING PLANE ALREADY!! A boxcutter, or lack of, won't help or hurt him in anyway if he decides to crash the damned plane because he is sorta already in control of the plane.

The fact that pilots are stating that TSA is going way to far should speak volumes.

 

[CallMeJoe]

Airlines refuse to operate at airports that have retardedly invasive screening performed by the TSA equals problem solved. It is not our fault that they are willing to allow their customers AND employees be subjected to that sort of bullshit.

Seriously, why the hell would an airline allow their pilots to be subjected to that shit. HE IS FLYING THE FUCKING PLANE ALREADY!! A boxcutter, or lack of, won't help or hurt him in anyway if he decides to crash the damned plane because he is sorta already in control of the plane.

The fact that pilots are stating that TSA is going way to far should speak volumes.

Great idea! Now, how do the airlines manage to stay in business when they don't fly into half the airports in the United States?

 

[Brigandier]

Great idea! Now, how do the airlines manage to stay in business when they don't fly into half the airports in the United States?

The same way they've always stayed in business, bailouts.

 

[Lemon law]

The solution is obvious, as our OP alchemise fears TSA airport full body scan operators will oogle his weenie. Now I have no idea why that would be such a concern but maybe our OP has certain penis size inferiority issues or something.

Therefore I propose the TSA hires only male and female full body scan operators on sole criteria that their tit size or penis size is at least 4 standard deviations smaller than the general populations. Therefor as they full body scan passengers they are constantly reminded of their own inferiority and will take no vicarious pleasure in scanning some one Else's junk.

I may not fly very often, but I still don't want my fellow passengers carrying explosives, and if Alchemise wants to dope slap TSA employees just trying to do their job, I take certain comfort that I can fly where I want to, Alcemise will be rotting in jail, and I will never have to share a plane with Alchemise. And its that latter point that is priceless.

 

[Jaskalas]

The solution is obvious, as our OP alchemise fears TSA airport full body scan operators will oogle his weenie. Now I have no idea why that would be such a concern but maybe our OP has certain penis size inferiority issues or something.

Therefore I propose the TSA hires only male and female full body scan operators on sole criteria that their tit size or penis size is at least 4 standard deviations smaller than the general populations. Therefor as they full body scan passengers they are constantly reminded of their own inferiority and will take no vicarious pleasure in scanning some one Else's junk.

I may not fly very often, but I still don't want my fellow passengers carrying explosives, and if Alchemise wants to dope slap TSA employees just trying to do their job, I take certain comfort that I can fly where I want to, Alcemise will be rotting in jail, and I will never have to share a plane with Alchemise. And its that latter point that is priceless.

Your stance on the patriot act?

Just asking cause if you like fucking Americans over in the name of protecting them, you'd make a nice couple. Let's jail anyone who complains too.

 

[Zorba]

Airlines refuse to operate at airports that have retardedly invasive screening performed by the TSA equals problem solved. It is not our fault that they are willing to allow their customers AND employees be subjected to that sort of bullshit.

Seriously, why the hell would an airline allow their pilots to be subjected to that shit. HE IS FLYING THE FUCKING PLANE ALREADY!! A boxcutter, or lack of, won't help or hurt him in anyway if he decides to crash the damned plane because he is sorta already in control of the plane.

The fact that pilots are stating that TSA is going way to far should speak volumes.

Airlines have no choice, you can not operate a non-charter commercial flight without TSA. Just like a mechanic is not allowed to carry any "sharp" tool into the cabin of an aircraft if any passengers are on board. Just like the TSA has mandated a special tool be required to remove the shrouds around toilet tanks that has to be tracked and checkout by the mechanic for each use. I guess you're right the Airlines could just shut down operations, that'll show the TSA.

TSA is because of stupid people willing to give up all their rights because they are afraid and just want big brother to protect them, the Airlines have nothing to do with how crazy TSA has become.

 

[manimal]

I may just whip it out as I approach the terminal to get ready...

 

[CallMeJoe]

How extensive does the "pat down" get if you wear a cup?

 

[Scotteq]

How extensive does the "pat down" get if you wear a cup?

I should suppose if they found a plastic object where most people would wear none (..it's an airplane flight, not a football game...), then you would be pulled into a back room for a body cavity search.

 

[IBMer]

TSA is because of stupid people willing to give up all their rights because they are afraid and just want big brother to protect them, the Airlines have nothing to do with how crazy TSA has become.

No its the fault of all those stupid bloggers and idiots that wanted to prove that airport security wasn't good by putting fake bomb components on planes and blogging about it.

They got their wish by proving they couldn't do their job, now we have this extreme version of the security for it.

 

[bamacre]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TCHSGvNwRY

 

[PottedMeat]

Is it too late to dismantle the DHS?

 

[CycloWizard]

The solution is obvious, as our OP alchemise fears TSA airport full body scan operators will oogle his weenie. Now I have no idea why that would be such a concern but maybe our OP has certain penis size inferiority issues or something.

Therefore I propose the TSA hires only male and female full body scan operators on sole criteria that their tit size or penis size is at least 4 standard deviations smaller than the general populations. Therefor as they full body scan passengers they are constantly reminded of their own inferiority and will take no vicarious pleasure in scanning some one Else's junk.

I may not fly very often, but I still don't want my fellow passengers carrying explosives, and if Alchemise wants to dope slap TSA employees just trying to do their job, I take certain comfort that I can fly where I want to, Alcemise will be rotting in jail, and I will never have to share a plane with Alchemise. And its that latter point that is priceless.

Can you explain how this will stop anyone from bringing on explosives? I'd really like to hear this from an expert such as yourself.

 

[manimal]

Is it too late to dismantle the DHS?

Either get rid of it or call dept of fatherland security....

 

[CycloWizard]

No its the fault of all those stupid bloggers and idiots that wanted to prove that airport security wasn't good by putting fake bomb components on planes and blogging about it.

They got their wish by proving they couldn't do their job, now we have this extreme version of the security for it.

An extreme version which still can't do the job.

 

[alchemize]

I wonder if you requested a local law enforcement officer to be present, and upon your junk being touched, tell the officer that your penis/testicles are being touched against your will, what he/she would do?

"officer I'm being sexually assaulted here against my will, I asked this person not to touch my sexual organs. What are you going to do about it?"

 

[CycloWizard]

I wonder if you requested a local law enforcement officer to be present, and upon your junk being touched, tell the officer that your penis/testicles are being touched against your will, what he/she would do?

"officer I'm being sexually assaulted here against my will, I asked this person not to touch my sexual organs. What are you going to do about it?"

He can only stand there if he has a boarding pass... D:

 

[epidemis]

A terrorist could just surgically implant a bomb in the body. Next up - hard ionizing radiation in the airport

 

[DominionSeraph]

Tell ya what, I will allow you to pat down my "naughty bits" but you are only allowed to use your tongue/mouth.

Lets see how your brain filters that out.

You're presuming that there is a linear system with a progression that has an endpoint valuable enough to me for me to enter that system in that position. An endpoint of, "Your travel safety," (with a semi-generic "your") that can be modified by simply not letting you (specifically) fly just doesn't cut it.

Now if we were in a situation where we had work parties doing work absolutely essential to the baseline continued survival of the human race, with a related condition which necessitated oral examinations of their personal space, and I got Rukia out of the deal...

Sure, I can live with all of humanity hinging on my performance of simple examinations. That's not exactly out if line with my God complex.