Teachers and guns- probably not a good idea, but we've got the solution!

Jan 25, 2011
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Genx87

Lifer
Apr 8, 2002
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Hahaha this is such a classic politicians response. Bring a small bat to a gun fight. And they will be locked up. Because when a person is shooting a gun trying to find the keys to the small bat arsenal will be wonderful. At least he acknowledges it is mostly symbolic even though teachers went through training. In other words they wasted thousands of dollars of tax dollars on symbolic bullshit.
 

Hayabusa Rider

Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
Jan 26, 2000
50,879
4,265
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Hahaha this is such a classic politicians response. Bring a small bat to a gun fight. And they will be locked up. Because when a person is shooting a gun trying to find the keys to the small bat arsenal will be wonderful. At least he acknowledges it is mostly symbolic even though teachers went through training. In other words they wasted thousands of dollars of tax dollars on symbolic bullshit.


Let's forget the teacher/gun thing for a moment. There's a shooting which triggers protests not seen since MLK. Parents and students want some effect response. The answer to them is a tiny bat. I'm not sure who this is giving the finger to.
 

[DHT]Osiris

Lifer
Dec 15, 2015
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Let's forget the teacher/gun thing for a moment. There's a shooting which triggers protests not seen since MLK. Parents and students want some effect response. The answer to them is a tiny bat. I'm not sure who this is giving the finger to.
Someone should collect all these, melt them down into a cast of a middle finger, then bolt that shit to the pavement in the middle of the superintendent's parking space.
 

tweaker2

Lifer
Aug 5, 2000
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Bat needs to be modified a bit to give it an equal chance against an AR type rifle. I'm thinking it needs some kind of metal tube running through the core of it of which attached to it about 3/4 down the length of the bat is this mechanism that can accommodate the fitting of a rapid succession of what I can only describe as pointy headed projectiles about errrm, say 5.56 millimeters or .223 inches in diameter. Now when the bat is swung, there's this little curved metal piece that the user will actuate in a timely manner wherein the aforementioned projectiles will, one after the other, enter the metal tube, seat itself in the rear area of the tube where it can await what looks like a nail coming in from behind which then mysteriously and quite curiously seems to cause a violent reaction to the projectile when the nail hits it where the front 1/4 of each projectile separates from the rearward section and hurls itself out of the bat in the direction of the user's arc of swing, repeating this process oh say about roughly 800 cycles per minute at a velocity of say ehhhh, I'm thinking maybe 3,000 feet per second?

I dunno, what do you guys think about that? Should work with the right guy fashioning the bat together like that and then swinging it in a well controlled manner.
 
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Kneedragger

Golden Member
Feb 18, 2013
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I don't know PA laws but a good slingshot can do a heck of a job. Of course not in NY where those same slingshots are illegal. That's not a joke.

It's pretty sad it's come to this...

The best thing I've seen in regards to any form of safety is this school had all employees have a remote around their neck when pressed alerts the cops. Cameras were also tied to police station.

When they scream "let teachers teach" this kind of stuff is just idiotic..
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
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Makes sense, they've had training, so they just swing the tiny bat at one of the bullets and knock it back at the shooter, who will obviously be taken down. Simple.
 

pmv

Lifer
May 30, 2008
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Was this announced on April 1st and it's just that it took a while to reach the linked website? Or is this site some sort of Onion knockoff?

Also, why aren't the bats wrapped in barbed wire?
 

dank69

Lifer
Oct 6, 2009
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I expect nothing less from a shit hole town in a shit hole state that was all too eager to bring us President Donald "JesusFuckingChrist" Trump. Any alternative, no matter how stupid, is better than increasing gun regulation.
 

snoopy7548

Diamond Member
Jan 1, 2005
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This is definitely an Onion article; I refuse to believe otherwise. We really can't be this tone deaf.
 

pmv

Lifer
May 30, 2008
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"It is the last resort,” said Millcreek School District Superintendent Negan. “But, it is an option and something we want people to be aware of."
 

Lanyap

Elite Member
Dec 23, 2000
8,106
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He will be backing down by tomorrow like the bucket of rocks school guy.
 

Puffnstuff

Lifer
Mar 9, 2005
16,029
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If they really want to do something why don't they just give the teachers some pepper spray so nobody gets permanently injured by it. If they get hungry later they can use it on their lunch or something.