Teacher attacks values

[Rarr]

Yesterday in class my professor (a man) had some pretty disturbing things to say.

He said that a woman who stays home with her children is just a prisoner of her husband. He spoke directly to those of us who have boyfriends saying, that our boyfriends don't love us for ourselves, only for our bodies. I had enough of listening to his crap so I stood up and argued with him- in which he furthered to tell me that i was wrong and that there was no way that my boyfriend could love me merely for who I am, that it was only because of looks. This hurt. All of it hurt.

The idea that my boyfriend only loves me because of the way I look is something that I do not hold as true. I also do not feel that a woman is NOT a prisoner of her husband.

All of the things he said just angered me and I am really fed up with this teacher. To have an opinion is one thing, but to attack someone directly in a classroom of people is another.

He attacked everything that I hold precious in life.

I love my boyfriend for the right reasons, reasons that do not reflect upon how he looks. And as far as I know, he feels that same.

What do you think? Are women prisoners? Are we all just ignorant bodies? Can a man actually love a woman without focusing just on her looks?

I could use a little encouragement on this subject.

 

[Jfur]

You are right. He clearly has two very small brains.

 

[montanafan]

Perhaps he was just trying to get some of you riled up in the hopes of creating a passionate debate?

 

[StageLeft]

What he said is true for a minority of people. For the majority it is not true. Many women do not stay at home and most of those who do are not prisoners. And guys only like women for looks? First of all thats just stupid, and second of all plenty of women are not even attractive

I think you should ask for an appology from that guy. He is clearly a bloody idiot.

 

[Tauren]

I know that I love my wife for who she is. I was attracted to her physically, but that won't keep two people together for long. I wouldn't divorced and re-married if that statement were wrong. My Wife only works when she wants to and SHE decided that. Her loving, kind, empathetic nature is why I married her.

 

[Kenazo]

i pity that prof's wife... that's the crapiest thing i've heard in a while

 

[GTaudiophile]

Geez! A mother, staying at home, to raise and build a family is an honorable thing. I'd say 90% of the major social problems we have in this country can be traced to the break-down of the family. It all starts somewhere, and it's too bad that the feminazis have turned motherhood into a crime.

 

[rudder]

What type of class was this for? If ti was a mathematics class, I would rake him over the coals (probably has tenure though). If it was a social studies class, like other suggested he may be trying to spark a debate. Let us know.

BTW, my wife is a stay at home mom. She is not a prisoner. When the kids start school and we decide not to have anymore, she would like to start a career. But shes sees the benefits of being there with the children are much better than plunking them in day care and getting a job so she can be "free."

 

[kranky]

I understand montanafan's comment and that is a possibility. I would be more likely to agree if, after your objection to his comments, he had other students participate. If it was only you vs. him, I don't think that's what he was up to. Out of curiosity, what class was it?

I do not agree that stay-at-home moms are "prisoners". I know quite a few and they are among the happiest people I've encountered. Perhaps his comments only reflect how he looks at things.

It is unquestionably true that men can love women for reasons other than looks, their bodies, their cooking ability, their earning power, or any other transient factor.

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't get hooked up with a chick that I DID NOT THINK WAS (as opposed to was NOT) attractive. I mean, I wouldn't get hooked up with someone who looks like a grandma just because she was "young at heart" or had a good personality. Sometimes you accept some "imperfections", but at the stage of bf/gf, the relationship is heavily based on looks, wouldn't you say?

i think the professor was right about that part...

 

[Tominator]

DAMN! A Women with brains and guts! There IS HOPE! Thanks Rarr for making my day...

BTW, we men are more superficial than women, and being young amplifies that.

I'd be trying to get another Professor as your grades in his class will be crap now.... I'm proud of you!

 

[Jzero]

Sounds to me like someone's wife walked out on him and now he's bitter. As she walked out the door she probably screamed "You only love me for my looks and you just want me to be a prisoner to your wishes!" and he thinks that everyone is as dumb as he is.

He should ask the local gender studies department their opinion.
And if he's a gender studies teacher, he should be canned.

 

[shifrbv]

Geez! A mother, staying at home, to raise and build a family is an honorable thing. I'd say 90% of the major social problems we have in this country can be traced to the break-down of the family. It all starts somewhere, and it's too bad that the feminazis have turned motherhood into a crime.

I agree 100%. I think now that women have been branded to be "super women" and to have it all, being a woman is harder than ever. If you don't have a career, you must be lazy or "a prisoner". Either way, there's something wrong with you. It's too bad that the traditional role that women have enjoyed for thousands of years has been turned upside down on it's head in just under 50 years.

 

[kru]

while physical attraction might help two people get together, it takes a helluva lot more than that to make a relationship WORK. if you and your boyfriend have a tight relationship based on communication, trust and mutual respect, then fsck what your teacher thinks. he's entitled to his own opinion and you're just as entitled to blow it off.

it sounds like he's just got some issues he needs to deal with (closet misogynist?). he might have wanted to seem all noble, defending the poor women who are prisoners of their own households, but he needs to realize that a lot of those women made that decision. in this day and age, NO ONE is forcing that role upon women.

 

[yobarman]

when you finished arguing with him, did you go "Rar!"


And it's not true what he said, there are a ton of guys who love their girls for who they are, not so they can have a "prisoner" or something good to look at. It all depends on a guys taste. I can't go out with a girl unless im physically attractive to her. I can't out with a girl unless I'm mentally attracted to her. Some guys dont care about looks some guys dont care about brains.

 

[KingHam]

He is probably going through a divorce.

KingHam

 

[Texmaster]

<< Yesterday in class my professor (a man) had some pretty disturbing things to say.
He said that a woman who stays home with her children is just a prisoner of her husband. He spoke directly to those of us who have boyfriends saying, that our boyfriends don't love us for ourselves, only for our bodies. I had enough of listening to his crap so I stood up and argued with him- in which he furthered to tell me that i was wrong and that there was no way that my boyfriend could love me merely for who I am, that it was only because of looks. This hurt. All of it hurt.
The idea that my boyfriend only loves me because of the way I look is something that I do not hold as true. I also do not feel that a woman is a prisoner of her husband. All of the things he said just angered me and I am really fed up with this teacher. To have an opinion is one thing, but to attack someone directly in a classroom of people is another. He attacked everything that I hold precious in life.
I love my boyfriend for the right reasons, reasons that do not reflect upon how he looks. And as far as I know, he feels that same.

What do you think? Are women prisoners? Are we all just ignorant bodies? Can a man actually love a woman without focusing just on her looks?

I could use a little encouragement on this subject. >>



He's a Jackass and he's DEAD wrong.

Sure there will always be a few morons who see all women that way and although most of us talk a good game, we're a bunch of wussies

This guy sounds like he either just broke up with a woman, doesn't get aounrd much (u know what I mean) or has some warped religious thought process.

He is wrong. You are right for standing up to his sexist remarks.

Just by doing that you proved his theory about women was dead wrong

 

[Texmaster]

<< What type of class was this for? If ti was a mathematics class, I would rake him over the coals (probably has tenure though). If it was a social studies class, like other suggested he may be trying to spark a debate. Let us know.

BTW, my wife is a stay at home mom. She is not a prisoner. When the kids start school and we decide not to have anymore, she would like to start a career. But shes sees the benefits of being there with the children are much better than plunking them in day care and getting a job so she can be "free." >>



Hold onto that one. Good women are not easy to find

 

[skace]

Why did it hurt so much if it wasn't true? Do you question your boyfriend now?

Men focus on looks a lot. Look at all the babe threads. Look at how married men all turn their heads to check out younger women while they are in their cars.

But a person's looks isn't what make a relationship/love flourish. If it was then guys could fall in love with paintings and would never seek companionship.

 

[KaBudokan]

This may sound crazy, but I would be willing to bet that his intentions are actually good, and he was not putting women down. He just went about it all wrong.

Certainly a woman staying home and caring for her children is honorable. It was certainly out of vogue for a long time, but many women choose to do this exactly for the reasons people listed above. My sister-in-law, for example, has a n MA in Psychology, but is currently staying home to care of her daughter, and I admire that tremendously. In the past, many women were not given the option to do anything BUT stay home with the kids, and in that era the teacher's statement, while overly dramatic and certainly overly generalized, was probably accurate to some degree.

And, contrary to what many people will admit to, many boys/men do focus on looks more than anything else. Stating to all the women in a class "Your boyfriends just like you for your looks" is idiotic, but again, I bet his intentions were in the right place, though completely misguided in application. Anyone that doubts the looks issue need only see how long it takes 10 people to respond "Pics?" in any thread mentioning a woman.

I am currently in a Masters program for education, and I'm in my final internship teaching at an inner-city high school. I have been considering teaching a unit on "Sexism" in one of my classes. There is tons of talk/class time spent on racial prejudice in the schools, but little talks about gender issues.

Yesterday one kid was singing a rap song about ho's out loud during class, and I told him to stop, and to please not use that word. "Why not?" he asked. "Because it is disrespectful to women," I said. "But we're men - so it's ok to use it. It doesn't offend YOU does it, Mr. K?"

"Yes."

Like I said, this teacher sounds like a lame teacher and I would have taken issue with what he said, but honestly it is good to hear it coming up in school, even if the guy's an idiot. Rarr, glad to hear you stood up for yourself and for your boyfriend, too. You may want to talk to the administration about what happened, as his blanket assertions are just plain wrong.

 

[Rarr]

<< Geez! A mother, staying at home, to raise and build a family is an honorable thing. I'd say 90% of the major social problems we have in this country can be traced to the break-down of the family. It all starts somewhere, and it's too bad that the feminazis have turned motherhood into a crime. >>



I agree with this 100%. I know that if my mother didn't stay home and raise me that I would not be the same person that I am today. I respect her for that, and all mothers for their self-sacrifice.

The class was an American Literature class.

I have come to the conclusion that my prof. is just an egotistical a-hole and imp. He isn't married, (hmm..i wonder why) and I hope that no woman ever has to deal with such a dillusional individual. I think the lack of happiness in his life has made him dry and bitter towards others who are expressively happy.

It hurt me because no one enjoys being attacked in the middle of a group of people. I am naturally a shy person and I stood up for what I believed despite the situation.

NO-I do not doubt my boyfriend's love Skace.

That prof. is very un-rarr.

I enjoy doing all of the things I do for my boyfriend- and not a day goes by that I am not grateful for being looked at by him as a 3D person- not just as a hot chick.

As far as my grade in the class is concerned, I had an A before this episode. If he attempts to fail me for this I will simply have the chance to tell him to "f-off" and then speak to the administration immediatley.

Thanks so much for your replies, it is nice to know that I do not stand alone on this issue.

 

[Russ]

Rarr,

Your prof is clearly a complete buffoon with stones the size of mustard seeds. He probably lives in his grandma's basement with her 27 cats.This loser is a prime example of the gross negligence of those in charge education system, and the paradigm for the adage "those who can't do, teach". This lowlife has no business occupying a position responsible for guiding and educating our young people and should be run out of that college on a rail.

Ignore his extreme ignorance; ignore him, period. By your words, it is clear that you are already superior to he in intellect, knowledge and wisdom.

Russ, NCNE

 

[NesuD]

<< He said that a woman who stays home with her children is just a prisoner of her husband. He spoke directly to those of us who have boyfriends saying, that our boyfriends don't love us for ourselves, only for our bodies. >>


He was probably right in his own little pea sized mind. I would probably agree that most men as shallow and ignorant as he appears to be probably would fit his description. Fortunately there are many of us that aren't constrained by the shallow limits he is and love our wives and girlfriends for more than just looks and are proud of their independance. Prisoners by definition are held against their will. The great majority of stay at home mothers that i have known were blissfully happy in that role and therefore don't fit the definition of a prisoner. My wife is an intelligent, highly educated independant woman who is the mother of our 2 sons and works fulltime because she is happy doing that. I have never tried or even entertained the thought that i could dictate to her how she lives her life. I would point out to him the state of divorce and community property laws in most states and pose the question whom is the real prisoner here. Not that i have any inclination to leave my marraige. I find my wife in addition to being intelligent to be a kind gentle soul that i would die for in an instant if it were necessary. The fact that i find her physically attractive is just an added bonus. Your Professor is an ignorant fool who seems to be very unhappy. I would suggest to him that if he stopped trying to keep his wife his prisoner and tried looking beyond her physical appearance he may be surprised to find the best friend he has ever known.

 

[TheBlondOne]

Wow...I would have expected that from a female teacher, but not a man!

Anyway, no, women aren't prisoners to their husbands...generally. Unless they're being abused and threatened and/or Muslim women in the Middle East, no, they are not prisoners.

And of COURSE men can love us for things other than our bodies! In fact, if your man would "love" you just for your body, it's not love at all. Just plain lust. But once a relationship goes beyond looks, real love begins to develop and it doesn't matter what the person looks like anymore.

BTW--must suck to be his wife (if he has one!)

 

[Rarr]

He isn't married. I think we all know why too.