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teach me social skills ATOT

M

mizzou

Diamond Member
so , I started a new job recently and I really enjoy it and the people I work with. I've been able to befriend quite a few people so things are going well, but I want to befriend everyone.

I don't need help with getting friends at my rank and lower, but probably with higher rank.

It seems that the higher rank people have a hard time communicating with me.


Case and point, I was microwaving some water in the microwave this morning and one of the higher rank people came in and didn't make eye contact, I said "mornin" and he said "pshhhhhhh.....stpstpstp... Gooooooood mornin" (trying to emulate mouth noises)


Then since it was the morning I didn't push further, let him do his thing and let me do my thing.

Then he says "Man...Mondays....Pshhhhh"

So I didn't say anything, because it was neither provocative of a response or interrogatory.


But he said it sort of early, as if I was supposed to say something, so there was awkward silence.


I tend to have lots of awkard silences with certain people who "small talk", mainly because I find it uninteresting. But I have great relationships with people whom I eat lunch with and work closely with, we have lively and interesting conversations.



Help me ATOT, what am I doing wrong and what am I not doing?
 
I haven't yet read your post, but the title of this thread is one of the funniest things I've read all day. 🙂
 
talk about the weather. interesting people LOVE to talk about the weather. and then roll your eyeballs around the room. and when the conversation ever gets awkward, just take a sip from a glass (of whatever youre holding). it makes the situation that much less awkward
 
The next time you're in an elevator with one of the women, say

"Excuse me, can I smell your panties?"

Watch her look at you in horror, then she should should "NO!!!"

Then you can say "Oh, then it must be your feet."

This establishes you as an authority figure.
 
Originally posted by: Fritzo
The next time you're in an elevator with one of the women, say

"Excuse me, can I smell your panties?"

Watch her look at you in horror, then she should should "NO!!!"

Then you can say "Oh, then it must be your feet."

This establishes you as an authority figure.
Click to expand...

lol, I swear I've heard that one before =D
 
Originally posted by: Fritzo
The next time you're in an elevator with one of the women, say

"Excuse me, can I smell your panties?"

Watch her look at you in horror, then she should should "NO!!!"

Then you can say "Oh, then it must be your feet."

This establishes you as an authority figure.
Click to expand...

makes you seem more like jerk not an authority figure
 
Next time just punch said person and knock him out when he doesn't see you.

Steal his underpants.

???

Profit.
 
ask one of your female co-workers if you can eat her out within the first few days of meeting her

text any of the following to her phone:
(\___/)
(=-.-=) oooo (ZzzzzzzZzzzZzzzz.... )
<:3 )~
(")__(")
(the above signifies Bunny and Mousey)

*SMOOCH*

*snorgle snorgle*

CheeksOMGyay!
 
Originally posted by: mizzou
teach me social skills ATOT
Click to expand...

First of all OP, your thread title made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

Then he says "Man...Mondays....Pshhhhh"

So I didn't say anything, because it was neither provocative of a response or interrogatory.


But he said it sort of early, as if I was supposed to say something, so there was awkward silence.
Click to expand...

You were. Instead of a rhetorical question, which you are not supposed to answer directly, this was a rhetorical statement, which you are.

It's reflexively low level bonding. Some animals sniff and groom each other to lower the tension among strangers, we have language.

What he said is rhetoric, delivered as ritual, his utterance has scance intrinsic meaning, much as someone greeting you with "How are you?" is not generally looking for a detailed report.

Bonding. Even if he doesn't consciously know it, he means it as a basic bonding ritual.

You are supposed to agree. If you really have Aspergers and are still not getting this, fake it.

Any affirmative answer will do. You can be as vague as you wish. In fact, the vaguer the better.

Remember, no actual information is being exchanged during this; he and you are doing the reflexive verbal equivalent of sniffing each other's ass.

"Tell me about it," almost always works. Be emotive. The entire idea is to evince wholehearted agreement.

"How 'bout them Eagles?"

"YEAH!" (They probably won.)

Vs:

"F'in Eagles."

"Yeah." (In your little sad voice or measured regret.)

One small digression:

Case and point . . .
Click to expand...

Case in point: To some Americans older than you, uttering the above would be like you picking your nose in front of them.

And, finally:

But I have great relationships with people whom I eat lunch with and work closely with, we have lively and interesting conversations.
Click to expand...

Possibly, possibly. It wouldn't necessarily surprise me if these folks had a diametrically different view of your awesome conservational magnificence, however.

I could be wrong.

I don't know you, just saying. 😉
 
From a social perspective, always, always treat the people you work with, work for, and those who work under you as equals. When it comes to doing the job, maintain your position in the hierarchy, but not socially.
 
Originally posted by: Perknose
Originally posted by: mizzou
teach me social skills ATOT
Click to expand...

First of all OP, your thread title made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

Then he says "Man...Mondays....Pshhhhh"

So I didn't say anything, because it was neither provocative of a response or interrogatory.


But he said it sort of early, as if I was supposed to say something, so there was awkward silence.
Click to expand...

You were. Instead of a rhetorical question, which you are not supposed to answer directly, this was a rhetorical statement, which you are.

It's reflexively low level bonding. Some animals sniff and groom each other to lower the tension among strangers, we have language.

What he said is rhetoric, delivered as ritual, his utterance has scance intrinsic meaning, much as someone greeting you with "How are you?" is not generally looking for a detailed report.

Bonding. Even if he doesn't consciously know it, he means it as a basic bonding ritual.

You are supposed to agree. If you really have Aspergers and are still not getting this, fake it.

Any affirmative answer will do. You can be as vague as you wish. In fact, the vaguer the better.

Remember, no actual information is being exchanged during this; he and you are doing the reflexive verbal equivalent of sniffing each other's ass.

"Tell me about it," almost always works. Be emotive. The entire idea is to evince wholehearted agreement.

"How 'bout them Eagles?"

"YEAH!" (They probably won.)

Vs:

"F'in Eagles."

"Yeah." (In your little sad voice or measured regret.)

One small digression:

Case and point . . .
Click to expand...

Case in point: To some Americans older than you, uttering the above would be like you picking your nose in front of them.
Click to expand...

:beer:

pretty much. it's all about saying nothing while finding the right balance between agreeable but not sycophantic or annoying.
 
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
You should have offered to suck his cock. Seriously. 😛
Click to expand...

Let me guess - you're a higher-up at mizzouTech?

Anyway, Perknose pretty well summed it up. If you're one of those people who snubs their nose at pointless banter, so be it, but you're only digging your own grave.
 
I find it easy to remember what people talk about at a certain time, then ask them how so and so went the next time I see them.
 
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