Tamales are the Worst Food in Existence

[mindless1]

I love a tamale or enchilada every now and then. Would I make a whole meal out of tamales? No, and they have to have decent red or avocado sauce on top, not just some goo made out of chili powder and thickener. However tamale is one of the more laborious dishes to make so I seldom DIY at home, effort:reward ratio too low.

Corn, great in mexican dishes but masa for tamale, tortilla, etc, not whole kernels. I have no problem eating straight corn as a side dish but not so much mixed into something else.

Flavor of beans and rice? They have practically no flavor at all, besides the seasoning you add. The same seasoning can be put into a tamale filling or the sauce on top if that's how you want it but one of the things I don't want from a Mexican restaurant is everything tasting the same, especially if loaded with salt.

 

[TXHokie]

Aside from grit, I like all the other food mentioned so far as they all pair great with an ice cold beer.

 

[pcgeek11]

Love shrimps myself but whenever I visit my buddies in Louisiana and during season, they have mudbugs/crawdads/crawfishes and I still do not like them. Too little to have much meat inside but them Cajuns love those mudbugs along with corns and potatoes and other items in a big pot. I rather have gumbo and jambalaya.

I love them "mudbugs" too!

 

[aigomorla]

Cheesecake Factory Sweet Corn Tamales are super yummy.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

Most tamales are dry, flavorless mound of ground corn & lard with a hint of protein. A good tamale uses a thinner coating of "masa" and is stuffed with a healthy portion of stewed juicy meat. Pretty much you will never "buy" a good tamale as masa is a very cheap ingredient.

The best way to eat a tamale is to fry it in a pan and top it with a fried egg.

The southern Delta Hot Tamales are also much tastier than the Mexican variety -

Welcome chocolateandmarrow.com - BlueHost.com

Bluehost - Top rated web hosting provider - Free 1 click installs For blogs, shopping carts, and more. Get a free domain name, real NON-outsourced 24/7 support, and superior speed. web hosting provider php hosting cheap web hosting, Web hosting, domain names, front page hosting, email hosting...

chocolateandmarrow.com

 

[dawp]

I actually don't mind coleslaw. I grew up in an area that had a decent amount of Polish influence, so I've had a good mixture of both vinegar- and mayonnaise-based coleslaw. There's even the 'slaw that you make with sauerkraut; I'm not a huge fan of sauerkraut itself (too tart for me), but it's fine in coleslaw.



So, I know that grits aren't technically a breakfast food, but I see them commonly associated with breakfast. I think my thing is that I'd much rather just have oatmeal if I want to go for a sort of "mealy" dish. In regard to breakfast, I'll also just add cheese to my eggs or just make an omelet with plenty of cheese.

All in all, I have noticed an interesting preference for corn-based items in the south. For example, corn tortillas were never really something that I saw up north (albeit, we didn't have as strong of a Mexican influence), but flour tortillas were definitely common. To be frank, I hate corn tortillas too. It's not the lack of flavor, but also that the texture just feels so awkward and unappealing.

sauerkraut on a bratwurst is heaven to me, but then i'm of german heritage.

 

[Aikouka]

sauerkraut on a bratwurst is heaven to me, but then i'm of german heritage.

I’ve got some German heritage in me (about 25%, I believe). I’m fine with a good chunk of German food, but I’m usually not a fan of sour or tart things. Unfortunately, that also includes one popular thing in German culture... beer. I’m fine with a good chunk of beers as long as we’re not talking dark beers (the Irish part of me sheds tears of Guinness over this). All in all, I mostly just mix whiskey or rum with coke when it comes to drinking.

 

[BudAshes]

I am always shocked at the horrible taste in food ATOT has.

In this case though I can't entirely disagree as I'm not huge on tamales. I'll eat one if I smother it in some good salsa, but there are certainly better options out.

 

[FelixDeCat]

I dont think I've ever met a tamale I did not like. My mom makes the best. I've had beef tamales, pork tamales, veggie tamales and fruit tamales.

I could eat them for breakfast with eggs on the side, lunch with cheesesauce or dinner with frijoles and tortilla chips & salsa (dont forget the Margarita!) and still not be satisfied.

 

[ponyo]

Most tamales are dry, flavorless mound of ground corn & lard with a hint of protein. A good tamale uses a thinner coating of "masa" and is stuffed with a healthy portion of stewed juicy meat. Pretty much you will never "buy" a good tamale as masa is a very cheap ingredient.

The best way to eat a tamale is to fry it in a pan and top it with a fried egg.

The southern Delta Hot Tamales are also much tastier than the Mexican variety -

Welcome chocolateandmarrow.com - BlueHost.com

Bluehost - Top rated web hosting provider - Free 1 click installs For blogs, shopping carts, and more. Get a free domain name, real NON-outsourced 24/7 support, and superior speed. web hosting provider php hosting cheap web hosting, Web hosting, domain names, front page hosting, email hosting...

chocolateandmarrow.com

Now, hot tamale sounds like something I would like. I spent couple hours of my morning reading the Chocolate + Marrow blog. Thanks for the link!

 

[Brainonska511]

Tamales are great. If your tamales taste like lard then they're wrong.

This.

I've had some great tamales and some mediocre ones. The ones from Tucson Tamale have always been good: https://tucsontamale.com/

 

[JM Aggie08]

You are wrong.

Signed, most everyone.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Tamales are fuckin awesome.

Also, grits are delicious.

I hate most cole slaw, though if they make it with vinaigrette its not always terrible. Some BBQ places seem to know how to make it tasty.

 

[HomerJS]

Seriously, I have zero clue how anyone can like this disgusting shit.

As if the fact that it's made out of lard isn't good enough - it just literally doesn't taste good. If I'm about to open a huge valve of calories down my throat, at the very minimal it should be fucking delicious.

I do wonder how many people here have heard of tomales though - Similar to kolaches, I have to explain to damn northern foreigners what the fuck a kolache is.


Seriously, look at this crap.

View attachment 37930

Clearly you've never had black pudding. Had it years ago on a UK flight for breakfast. It was on my tray so I tried it. Biggest food mistake ever!

 

[Captante]

Cheesecake Factory Sweet Corn Tamales are super yummy.

Just sticking some tex-mex looking stuff on top of a corn-husk does NOT a Tamale make!

 

[JM Aggie08]

Cheesecake Factory Sweet Corn Tamales are super yummy.
*Snip*

That'll be about 2200 calories

Seriously though -- what the hell does Cheesecake Factory do to their food? It can't just be butter. Almost everything, salads included, is terrible for you there.

 

[sactoking]

Fun fact: while many people know that protein and carbs contain 4 calories per gram and fat contains 9 calories per gram most people do not know that orphan gonads contain a whopping 36 calories per gram.

Cheesecake Factory: they use orphan gonads in their food!

 

[GodisanAtheist]

Most tamales are dry, flavorless mound of ground corn & lard with a hint of protein. A good tamale uses a thinner coating of "masa" and is stuffed with a healthy portion of stewed juicy meat. Pretty much you will never "buy" a good tamale as masa is a very cheap ingredient.

The best way to eat a tamale is to fry it in a pan and top it with a fried egg.

The southern Delta Hot Tamales are also much tastier than the Mexican variety -

Welcome chocolateandmarrow.com - BlueHost.com

Bluehost - Top rated web hosting provider - Free 1 click installs For blogs, shopping carts, and more. Get a free domain name, real NON-outsourced 24/7 support, and superior speed. web hosting provider php hosting cheap web hosting, Web hosting, domain names, front page hosting, email hosting...

chocolateandmarrow.com

- This right here. I think a lot of people don't like Tamales on the account of crappy store brand tamales that try to stretch their value based on completely ruining the masa to filling ratio. Not to mention microwaving frozen tamales is going to get you a gross half soggy/half frozen/half desiccated travesty on top of everything else.

I love the idea of "deconstructed food" and I think Tamales are a perfect fit for deconstruction (as are many other "pocketed" foods). Nice Masa patty on the bottom, topped with delicious flavorful stewed meat + fixin's is a solid way to ensure all the components are prepared properly and the ratios are good across the board. Makes for a great visual presentation as well.

 

[MrSquished]

Most tamales are dry, flavorless mound of ground corn & lard with a hint of protein. A good tamale uses a thinner coating of "masa" and is stuffed with a healthy portion of stewed juicy meat. Pretty much you will never "buy" a good tamale as masa is a very cheap ingredient.

The best way to eat a tamale is to fry it in a pan and top it with a fried egg.

The southern Delta Hot Tamales are also much tastier than the Mexican variety -

Welcome chocolateandmarrow.com - BlueHost.com

Bluehost - Top rated web hosting provider - Free 1 click installs For blogs, shopping carts, and more. Get a free domain name, real NON-outsourced 24/7 support, and superior speed. web hosting provider php hosting cheap web hosting, Web hosting, domain names, front page hosting, email hosting...

chocolateandmarrow.com

This is the problem with tamales and a lot of foods, the right ratios. Bread to filling ratio is quite often the problem for a lot of sandwiches.