Tamales are the Worst Food in Existence

[s0me0nesmind1]

Seriously, I have zero clue how anyone can like this disgusting shit.

As if the fact that it's made out of lard isn't good enough - it just literally doesn't taste good. If I'm about to open a huge valve of calories down my throat, at the very minimal it should be fucking delicious.

I do wonder how many people here have heard of tomales though - Similar to kolaches, I have to explain to damn northern foreigners what the fuck a kolache is.


Seriously, look at this crap.

 

[BoomerD]

i like tamales if they're made right. Maybe just not for your beloved patriot tongue.

A bakery where we lived in CA made great kolaches.

I've been to Tomales...

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

i like tamales if they're made right. Maybe just not for your beloved patriot tongue.

A bakery where we lived in CA made great kolaches.

I've been to Tomales...

I've had plenty over the years.... homemade... restaurant made.... many different varieties.

They all just come out tasting like how it would taste if someone said "What does lard taste like?"

 

[Aikouka]

I don't understand the appeal for some foods... like tamales or grits. Just... no thanks.

 

[BoomerD]

I don't understand the appeal for some foods... like tamales or grits. Just... no thanks.

No grits for me...EVER.

 

[Svnla]

I ate both tamales and grits and tamales are ok but grits are NOOOOOO way and cole slaw too..yuck.

 

[zinfamous]

Grits a are substrate for cheese (cheddar is perfect for this) and southern sausage patties, cut up. If you know what you're doing, it's perfect. If you're from south Carolina, you put sea insects in them, which is disgusting, but some people like that crap.

Anyway, it's not the grits. It's knowing how to make them and, especially, serve them.

Tamales, I have not nearly enough familiarity to judge, but I also know that "cooking in lard" is generally an instant qualifier for "awesome," and points can really only be deducted from that point, for various failures...so it's already an instant win, just needs some love and attention.

Because of this, I judge the OP's original claims to be dubious, at best.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

I ate both tamales and grits and tamales are ok but grits are NOOOOOO way and cole slaw too..yuck.

If something contains lard - and your answer is "it's okay" then it sucks ass.

No one eats bacon - which isn't even lard - and says "it's okay"

 

[Svnla]

If something contains lard - and your answer is "it's okay" then it sucks ass.

No one eats bacon - which isn't even lard - and says "it's okay"

To me, ok = passable, would eat again sometimes but not going out of my way to look for it to eat it such as a good steak. Tamales are not the worse food at all to me. Grits and cole slaw = bad and I did try them at different places and they were not good at all. Not missed them one bit.

Bacon = ok to me. I rather get a good pork chop or pork loin instead.

 

[Aikouka]

I ate both tamales and grits and tamales are ok but grits are NOOOOOO way and cole slaw too..yuck.

I actually don't mind coleslaw. I grew up in an area that had a decent amount of Polish influence, so I've had a good mixture of both vinegar- and mayonnaise-based coleslaw. There's even the 'slaw that you make with sauerkraut; I'm not a huge fan of sauerkraut itself (too tart for me), but it's fine in coleslaw.

Grits a are substrate for cheese (cheddar is perfect for this) and southern sausage patties, cut up. If you know what you're doing, it's perfect. If you're from south Carolina, you put sea insects in them, which is disgusting, but some people like that crap.

So, I know that grits aren't technically a breakfast food, but I see them commonly associated with breakfast. I think my thing is that I'd much rather just have oatmeal if I want to go for a sort of "mealy" dish. In regard to breakfast, I'll also just add cheese to my eggs or just make an omelet with plenty of cheese.

All in all, I have noticed an interesting preference for corn-based items in the south. For example, corn tortillas were never really something that I saw up north (albeit, we didn't have as strong of a Mexican influence), but flour tortillas were definitely common. To be frank, I hate corn tortillas too. It's not the lack of flavor, but also that the texture just feels so awkward and unappealing.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

I actually don't mind coleslaw. I grew up in an area that had a decent amount of Polish influence, so I've had a good mixture of both vinegar- and mayonnaise-based coleslaw. There's even the 'slaw that you make with sauerkraut; I'm not a huge fan of sauerkraut itself (too tart for me), but it's fine in coleslaw.

Coleslaw is one of those things where I've had good coleslaw and I've had (a lot of) bad coleslaw. There really isn't a universal recipe overall for coleslaw, and I've seen a bunch of different varieties.

Tamales, on the other hand, have all sucked ass. I've never had one good one from many different varieties over the years.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

All in all, I have noticed an interesting preference for corn-based items in the south. For example, corn tortillas were never really something that I saw up north (albeit, we didn't have as strong of a Mexican influence), but flour tortillas were definitely common. To be frank, I hate corn tortillas too. It's not the lack of flavor, but also that the texture just feels so awkward and unappealing.

That makes me laugh too - how people think "Oh, you didn't have AUTHENTIC mexican food because you didn't have CORN TORTILLAS"... as if that was the driving factor to flavor-town lol.

Corn tortillas taste like... (wait for it)...... corn. Is corn something amazing tasting? No. Thus Flour tortillas were made to cut out the horrible infection of corn flavors getting inbetween the legit flavors of meat, rice/beans, etc...

 

[zinfamous]

If something contains lard - and your answer is "it's okay" then it sucks ass.

honest question: have you ever eaten food that doesn't come in a bag that says "McDonalds" or a box that says "Dominos"?

 

[zinfamous]

Coleslaw is one of those things where I've had good coleslaw and I've had (a lot of) bad coleslaw. There really isn't a universal recipe overall for coleslaw, and I've seen a bunch of different varieties.

Tamales, on the other hand, have all sucked ass. I've never had one good one from many different varieties over the years.

real coleslaw is made with light cider vinegar, or depending on the region of your world, your local vinegar/slightly fermented whatever...but it is never actually made with mayo.

some asshole parts of the USA, however, just mix mayo with shredded cabbage and call it coleslaw. If this is how you judge coleslaw, then yes, you are correct and it is godawful. But isn't coleslaw, it is never how it should be made. It is poison. It should be abolished.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

honest question: have you ever eaten food that doesn't come in a bag that says "McDonalds" or a box that says "Dominos"?

I honestly haven't eaten anything fast food in 6+ years. Fast food is defined as anyplace that has a drive-thru.


(Okay, special exception ONCE OR TWICE) for Chick-Fil-A.


I also avoid "Chains" in general except for decent ones. Namely Chipotle since I've made some good bank off their stock

real coleslaw is made with light malt vinegar, or depending on the region of your world, your local vinegar/slightly fermented whatever...but it is never actually made with mayo.

some asshole parts of the USA, however, just mix mayo with shredded cabbage and call it coleslaw. If this is how you judge coleslaw, then yes, you are correct and it is godawful. But isn't coleslaw, it is never how it should be made. It is poison. It should be abolished.

I don't disagree with you here.... which is often why I pass up Coleslaw when I see it - I just see white stuff (presumably mayo... or maybe something else), with lettuce and say no thanks.

I have had accurately found decent coleslaw though and it wasn't half bad. It's just rare though.

 

[Svnla]

I actually don't mind coleslaw. I grew up in an area that had a decent amount of Polish influence, so I've had a good mixture of both vinegar- and mayonnaise-based coleslaw. There's even the 'slaw that you make with sauerkraut; I'm not a huge fan of sauerkraut itself (too tart for me), but it's fine in coleslaw.



So, I know that grits aren't technically a breakfast food, but I see them commonly associated with breakfast. I think my thing is that I'd much rather just have oatmeal if I want to go for a sort of "mealy" dish. In regard to breakfast, I'll also just add cheese to my eggs or just make an omelet with plenty of cheese.

All in all, I have noticed an interesting preference for corn-based items in the south. For example, corn tortillas were never really something that I saw up north (albeit, we didn't have as strong of a Mexican influence), but flour tortillas were definitely common. To be frank, I hate corn tortillas too. It's not the lack of flavor, but also that the texture just feels so awkward and unappealing.

This is a perfect example of "different strokes for different folks".

I tried coleslaw and grits at different places and none of them was passable/ok. Granted, I haven't tried any with Polish flavor yet (hard to find anything Polish down here). Sauerkraut is ok to me as long as it is with a good hot dog with all the trimmings, can't eat it just by itself.

Omelet - great breakfast stuff. Yummy.

Tortillas - corn or flour based = all good for me, the inside stuffs of a tortilla are more important, but I refer flour flavor slightly.

 

[Maxima1]

Seriously, I have zero clue how anyone can like this disgusting shit.

What have you paired them with? I don't think they are "disgusting" but certainly bland.

 

[zinfamous]

I honestly haven't eaten anything fast food in 6+ years. Fast food is defined as anyplace that has a drive-thru.


(Okay, special exception ONCE OR TWICE) for Chick-Fil-A.


I also avoid "Chains" in general except for decent ones. Namely Chipotle since I've made some good bank off their stock




I don't disagree with you here.... which is often why I pass up Coleslaw when I see it - I just see white stuff (presumably mayo... or maybe something else), with lettuce and say no thanks.

I have had accurately found decent coleslaw though and it wasn't half bad. It's just rare though.

my brain was cider all in, but it typed malt...anyway, I had to fix that. very important, lol.

(seriously, don't try to make slaw with malt vinegar...please? it's for potatoes/starch...not for leafy greens)

the "slaw" that you find in central, south america, in many places called "picklies," is so much better than what you find anywhere that calls anything "slaw"

It's just--fresh chopped vegetables...sometimes including an inappropriate amount of local hot peppers...with light, fresh, vinegar base. it's basically vegetarian ceviche when you get down to it: prepare everything the same way, just eliminate the sea creatures of your choice. ...add sea creatures of your (local) choice, and you have ceviche. That, is good and proper slaw.

Would you toss mayo or any "cream/dairy" thing into ceviche? No, no you wouldn't.


anyway, obviously it's not the same thing, but "lard" is a big deal

Lardo - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

and you know how Outback makes their potatoes? how you get those nice broiled, crisped-salt skins on what is actually just a baked potato? You shove that potato into an entire block of lard and broil that bastard. That's what you do. Lard. It is life.

 

[Iron Woode]

wait a minute, coleslaw is awesome. Especially the oil&vinegar variety.

I also prefer burritos.

 

[zinfamous]

wait a minute, coleslaw is awesome. Especially the oil&vinegar variety.

well it's the only real actual variety of coleslaw so yes, you are correct!

 

[aigomorla]

I love tamales... especially the chicken and pork.
I love KFC coleslaw, although i know its bad, but KFC makes good coleslaw.... well im from the west coast, so i maybe KFC coleslaw is horrible in the east.
Grits... errr.... i never understood grits....

Liver... I HATE LIVER... i have to force myself to eat it, it smells awesome when fried with flour, but that taste is like UGH. I have to litterally coat the thing in A1 sauce for me to swallow it.

Outback makes their potatoes?

i want to know how they make the blooming onion.... sigh... I miss outback, too bad after college the nearest one to me is like an hour drive.

 

[skull]

If something contains lard - and your answer is "it's okay" then it sucks ass.

No one eats bacon - which isn't even lard - and says "it's okay"

You realize a lot of stuff is historically made with lard right? Shortening got substituted in most recipes which is what is really disgusting as its hydrogenated oils. You like stuff with butter? Because that can be a lard substitute in some recipes too, its just fats.

 

[Iron Woode]

I love tamales... especially the chicken and pork.
I love KFC coleslaw, although i know its bad, but KFC makes good coleslaw.... well im from the west coast, so i maybe KFC coleslaw is horrible in the east.
Grits... errr.... i never understood grits....

Liver... I HATE LIVER... i have to force myself to eat it, it smells awesome when fried with flour, but that taste is like UGH. I have to litterally coat the thing in A1 sauce for me to swallow it.



i want to know how they make the blooming onion.... sigh... I miss outback, too bad after college the nearest one to me is like an hour drive.

You do know KFC doesn't make it, right? It is contracted out to a supplier. The KFC version is called Dixi Style. It contains mayo and other things.

I refuse to eat organ meats.

I miss The Outback, too, because they left Ontario over a decade ago.

 

[lxskllr]

I'd consider KFC coleslaw the typical 'MD style'. I think they do a pretty good job of it. I also like vinegar style. Not sure which I prefer, but probably vinegar.

 

[ponyo]

I don't have lot of experience with tamales. I've only eaten it couple times at resorts in Mexico. It's not my favorite item so I usually just grab one to taste. It's not bad but it's kind of bland to me. I rather eat corn flour tacos.

I do love grits and coleslaw. I use Duke's mayo when I make my coleslaw. KFC coleslaw is actually good and considered one of the better fast-food slaws.