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Taking a step forward...UPDATE NEED HELP :(

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<< Good Move. I can assure you that 5 years down the road you'd be one sorry Motherfscker if you were still hooked up with that porker. Kickin her fat ass to the curb will prove to be one of the smartest moves you ever made. >>



ouch...thats pretty brutal 😛

put it this way, whatever makes you happy, do it. relationships are great, but don't based them on just one thing.
 
Good for you.

For what it's worth, I exited about the same situation yesterday (though it was only a month into it). Lesson to be learned: make sure that whomever your partner is, he/she has reasonable expectations first.

Nothing worse than breaking it off with somebody who really likes you and who really hasn't done anything wrong.
 
You are doing the right thing.

One of my good buddies was in your situation but he is about 10 years older than you. He has been going out and living with this girl for 14 years since college. He is miserable but since it's been so long he has a hard time trying to get out of the relationship. Now his girlfriend is old and fat with no good prospects for marriage other than him. She is a nice girl but definitely not someone I can see him married to. Don't end up like him because 3 years will turn to 5 which will turn to 10 etc. You are doing her a favor by dumping her at an early age while she still has a chance.

Don't worry about bachelorhood again either. I've noticed at my age (32) that there are alot more nice available women than when I was younger. Too bad I'm married though.
 
"DO NOT just keep up with her because it's easier than breaking up when in fact that's what you really want.

Since you say you did it just don't let her get back with you now!"



You really hit it spot on. I've told what friends I have to kick my ass if I get back with her. Also, I made a bet with another friend that If I didnt get back with her for 3 weeks then I'd drive up to see him and he would have to buy me a private lap dance at a local strip club. 😛 Little incentive I guess.

Thanks for the kinds words everyone.
 
dear god is right....

however.. people make mistakes... my first gf back then looks worse... and hey, i too, took the first step and let her dump me.



 


<< Being single doesn't have to be scary. >>


Being single is all people in relationships dream about sometimes...but then they cry when they're single again...
 


<< it was a love hate thing. She is an incredible woman, cooks. cleans, takes care of me, is always willing to sacrfice something for me, but thats also what scares me off. Her life is (was?) totally devoted to me. >>



I was married for two years to a woman who never cleaned, only cooked when she absolutely had to, didn't take care of me or herself, spent my money as if it was hers without any regard, did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, treated my like a trophy in public and ignored me at home, and pretty much did not care about me in the least.

I'd say you were pretty lucky, because if I had a woman who was devoted to me, like your ex-gf was/is devoted to you, I'd be a very very happy man.
 


<<

<< it was a love hate thing. She is an incredible woman, cooks. cleans, takes care of me, is always willing to sacrfice something for me, but thats also what scares me off. Her life is (was?) totally devoted to me. >>



I was married for two years to a woman who never cleaned, only cooked when she absolutely had to, didn't take care of me or herself, spent my money as if it was hers without any regard, did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, treated my like a trophy in public and ignored me at home, and pretty much did not care about me in the least.

I'd say you were pretty lucky, because if I had a woman who was devoted to me, like your ex-gf was/is devoted to you, I'd be a very very happy man. >>



and that's why you're called dirtyboy? 😵
 


<< and that's why you're called dirtyboy? 😵 >>



No no no... I've had that sig for many years prior to meeting my ex-wife. And it has nothing to do with women whatsoever! 🙂
 
Oh crap...the ex apparently read this post. I need help. 🙁

she's mad that for what I said and for for what others said-namely red dawn and whoever said the "looker" comment.
 


<< Oh crap...the ex apparently read this post. I need help. 🙁

she's mad that for what I said and for for what others said-namely red dawn and whoever said the "looker" comment. >>



How the hell did she find the place? Does she post here too?

Viper GTS
 
she knows I spend a lot of time here and apparently seached for posts by my name. I dont think I really bashed her too much, I stuck up for her when folks called her a "porker". 🙁 And now shes pissed and says I went behind her back and said things a friend wouldnt say.

I think she's really hurting after reading this thread. 🙁 What can I say to her? I know she will be reading any replies from here on out but...I feel bad. 🙁 I didnt mean to hurt feelings.
 


<< Oh crap...the ex apparently read this post. I need help. 🙁

she's mad that for what I said and for for what others said-namely red dawn and whoever said the "looker" comment. >>


oh lord...better delete the post 😉
 
damage is done at this point. I just dont know if I should call her or what. 🙁 She is an extremely sensitive person and I know what was said probably hit her very hard.
 


<< I think she's really hurting after reading this thread. >>



No sh!t, as would most people.



<< What can I say to her? >>



"I'm sorry" would be a good place to start.

The bottom line is you have no control over what people say, & it's not your responsibility to refute everything that is said about her. You didn't say anything particularly negative about her, you pretty much laid it out like it is. If she can't accept that... Oh well. So goes life.

I guess I'd say "Sorry you had to read what they said, that's not how I feel & you know it. However, the things I said still stand."

Viper GTS
 
thanks viper. :\ I emailed her stressing what you basically just said.

Oh boy. 🙁 Now I might lose my best friend.
 


<< Oh boy. 🙁 Now I might lose my best friend. >>



Isn't that a great position to be in?

rolleye.gif


Been there, done that, have the scars to prove it.

Viper GTS
 
anyone else ever had their ex/SO read an incriminating post? Any eloquent sorry letters are welcome. 🙁

 


<< she's mad that for what I said and for for what others said-namely red dawn and whoever said the "looker" comment. >>


Bahahahahaha, I actually offended someone in real life via a post on Anandtech...
 


<< anyone else ever had their ex/SO read an incriminating post? Any eloquent sorry letters are welcome. 🙁 >>


Yeah, just post them here. She'll read them herself. 🙂 No offense, Lucky, but you are an idiot.
 
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