System administration is turning me into a BofH

[EyeMWing]

I've been reading the Bastard lately, and it's striking just how similar the methods and practices are to the ones that I find myself carrying out in real life in the recent months as I've slid into the role of full-time systems administrator for a non-profit organization that just happens to have ridiculous amounts of computers and ridiculous numbers of users and customers.

No, I haven't triggered a Halon fire surpression system on anyone yet, but that's likely because we don't even HAVE a fire surpression system of any sort. There's one particular person that I'd LOVE to try it out on. And no, I haven't locked anyone in a tape safe... Because we don't HAVE a tape safe.

But I have been party to a number of social engineering plots - ranging from slowly dehumanizing someone until they crack and are removed, to manipulating things to operate in a way favorable to myself, to dealing with problem people with a few quick SQL commands, literally dropping them from existance as far as we, as an organization, are concerned. And that's not even the beginning, really.

I even have my own PFY...

Save me? Or is this the way things are supposed to be.

 

[her209]

BofH = ?

 

[jagec]

That's awesome. Double kudos for having a PFY.

 

[Conky]

I'm gonna KSOITN for making up all these abbreviations. :|

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: her209
BofH = ?

Bastard Operator From Hell.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/ for the past couple years worth.

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: her209
BofH = ?

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell.

 

[djheater]

All admin's abuse power. It's a fundamental law.

People should know not to fvck with IT.

 

[imported_LoKe]

I don't know half of what you're trying to say, but I'm sure it's funny.

:thumbsup:

 

[jagec]

Power corrupts, but absolute power is kind of cool.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: djheater
All admin's abuse power. It's a fundamental law.

People should know not to fvck with IT.

And by "fvck with" you mean "call, email, or inquire in person on any issue not involving buying things that *I* want, or buying me a drink."

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: jagec
Power corrupts, but absolute power is kind of cool.

You made a typo.

Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts power's data when power was about to make an attempt at gaining absoluteness.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: jagec
Power corrupts, but absolute power is kind of cool.

You made a typo.

Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts power's data when power was about to make an attempt at gaining absoluteness.

And then deletes Power from the security access database.

 

[SampSon]

What is a " ridiculous amounts of computers and ridiculous numbers of users and customers"?

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: jagec
Power corrupts, but absolute power is kind of cool.

You made a typo.

Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts power's data when power was about to make an attempt at gaining absoluteness.

And then deletes Power from the security access database.

And then calls security about some random tool wearing a fake ID badge who slipped in through the security door behind an authorized person.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: SampSon
What is a " ridiculous amounts of computers and ridiculous numbers of users and customers"?

Ridiculous amount of computers = over 1000 at any given time, constantly turning over. It's part of the way computer refurbishment works. We're presently sitting at approximately 50 servers, though many of those have been hastily set up to fill a sudden gap and I eventually plan to decrease that number to 20 much more powerful units.

Ridiculous number of users = 20 and falling rapidly. This is, of course, not a ridiculous number in size, but a ridiculous number in relation to the amount of gear, and amount of customers, and presents it's own issues... Like, "how the ****** did I end up with 3x as many servers as users, and they're all sitting at peak load a disturbing amount of the time?"

Ridiculous number of customers = I don't have access to the DB from here, but suffice to say that those 1000 computers have gone to more than a few places. The average quantity in an order is just about two, and our customers average 1.5 orders each, or so.

My responsibilities entail making sure all the machines permanently on our network play nicely with each other, making sure all the machines that see the network once and then go away forever don't kybosh anything, and developing servers to increase the turnover and decrease the amount of required labor (because, as a result of my practices, we're losing users at an astounding rate - of course, they weren't going to be productive anyway). And because my methods are so effective, I've also been asked to "coordinate productivity", whateverthefuck that means. So I make some rude wake-up calls from time to time, and take the cool people out to dinner on the organization's tab.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: jagec
Power corrupts, but absolute power is kind of cool.

You made a typo.

Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts power's data when power was about to make an attempt at gaining absoluteness.

And then deletes Power from the security access database.

And then calls security about some random tool wearing a fake ID badge who slipped in through the security door behind an authorized person.

And then gives the security camera server a little Photoshop love to accidentally stand up the whiteboard in front of the damn thing right when the guy supposedly slipped in.

 

[SaturnX]

Originally posted by: djheater
All admin's abuse power. It's a fundamental law.

People should know not to fvck with IT.

Yeah, because we all know that the IT departments are what generate profits for a company and aren't simply an expense hired to SUPPORT those that do generate profits. :disgust:

 

[Scarpozzi]

Originally posted by: SaturnX

Originally posted by: djheater
All admin's abuse power. It's a fundamental law.

People should know not to fvck with IT.

Yeah, because we all know that the IT departments are what generate profits for a company and aren't simply an expense hired to SUPPORT those that do generate profits. :disgust:

You better shut up or we'll delay your tax return.

 

[SampSon]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: SampSon
What is a " ridiculous amounts of computers and ridiculous numbers of users and customers"?

Ridiculous amount of computers = over 1000 at any given time, constantly turning over. It's part of the way computer refurbishment works. We're presently sitting at approximately 50 servers, though many of those have been hastily set up to fill a sudden gap and I eventually plan to decrease that number to 20 much more powerful units.

Ridiculous number of users = 20 and falling rapidly. This is, of course, not a ridiculous number in size, but a ridiculous number in relation to the amount of gear, and amount of customers, and presents it's own issues... Like, "how the ****** did I end up with 3x as many servers as users, and they're all sitting at peak load a disturbing amount of the time?"

Ridiculous number of customers = I don't have access to the DB from here, but suffice to say that those 1000 computers have gone to more than a few places. The average quantity in an order is just about two, and our customers average 1.5 orders each, or so.

My responsibilities entail making sure all the machines permanently on our network play nicely with each other, making sure all the machines that see the network once and then go away forever don't kybosh anything, and developing servers to increase the turnover and decrease the amount of required labor (because, as a result of my practices, we're losing users at an astounding rate - of course, they weren't going to be productive anyway). And because my methods are so effective, I've also been asked to "coordinate productivity", whateverthefuck that means. So I make some rude wake-up calls from time to time, and take the cool people out to dinner on the organization's tab.

Yea I know what a sys admin does, been there done that.

So you have 1000 computers but only 20 users? So the non-profit business is into refurbishing computers?
So you don't really manage 1000 concurrent clients I take it?

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: SaturnX

Originally posted by: djheater
All admin's abuse power. It's a fundamental law.

People should know not to fvck with IT.

Yeah, because we all know that the IT departments are what generate profits for a company and aren't simply an expense hired to SUPPORT those that do generate profits. :disgust:

"to SUPPORT those that do generate profits"? You mean they could do without us, although it wouldn't be as cushy? Okay, try it.

Our job descriptions may not directly put us in the line of profit in most organizations, but it's IMPOSSIBLE to build a profitable organization of any appreciable size without us, and god forbid we be suddenly removed from an established organization.

IT = Profit. Do you want to ****** with your profit? Then ****** with IT.

Budget cuts for IT? Well, I hope accounting can get along with decreased server availability. Layoffs? That guy maintained HR's gear. When we say we need something to do our jobs better, sign the damned form. It'll make someone else's job easier somewhere else in the organization. And for christ's sake, stop trying to tell us how to do things. We know what the hell we're doing, we're going to position our assets strategically so that we get bothered the least - in essence, the way things work the best, and we're only going to change things when it's going to make things work better.

 

[her209]

Were going to be proposing a blade + SAN solution and upper management is going to have a heart attack after they see the $$$

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: SampSon

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: SampSon
What is a " ridiculous amounts of computers and ridiculous numbers of users and customers"?

Ridiculous amount of computers = over 1000 at any given time, constantly turning over. It's part of the way computer refurbishment works. We're presently sitting at approximately 50 servers, though many of those have been hastily set up to fill a sudden gap and I eventually plan to decrease that number to 20 much more powerful units.

Ridiculous number of users = 20 and falling rapidly. This is, of course, not a ridiculous number in size, but a ridiculous number in relation to the amount of gear, and amount of customers, and presents it's own issues... Like, "how the ****** did I end up with 3x as many servers as users, and they're all sitting at peak load a disturbing amount of the time?"

Ridiculous number of customers = I don't have access to the DB from here, but suffice to say that those 1000 computers have gone to more than a few places. The average quantity in an order is just about two, and our customers average 1.5 orders each, or so.

My responsibilities entail making sure all the machines permanently on our network play nicely with each other, making sure all the machines that see the network once and then go away forever don't kybosh anything, and developing servers to increase the turnover and decrease the amount of required labor (because, as a result of my practices, we're losing users at an astounding rate - of course, they weren't going to be productive anyway). And because my methods are so effective, I've also been asked to "coordinate productivity", whateverthefuck that means. So I make some rude wake-up calls from time to time, and take the cool people out to dinner on the organization's tab.

Yea I know what a sys admin does, been there done that.

So you have 1000 computers but only 20 users? So the non-profit business is into refurbishing computers?
So you don't really manage 1000 concurrent clients I take it?

Concurrent clients is something like 100 at any given moment as of right now. I've seen our non-permanent DHCP pool actually fill up a few times (before I took the massive hub stacks away from the deployment crews and gave them a pair of 48pt switches instead)

I learned pretty damn quick that giving a pair of installers a stack of 10mbit hubs with a total of 250 ports on it and saying "Don't use them all, it won't work." isn't an effective way of making sure things continue to work. Amazing how when I took those away (and threw them in the dumpster) and handed them 48 ports of 10/100 (with gigabit to plug in to the deployment server!), despite their cries of "OH NOES THIS WILL DECREASE OUR PRODUCTIVITY BECAUSE THERE AREN'T AS MANY PORTS" that the successful deployment rate went from a scant 5% to better than the 90% that I quoted when I built the prototype server. The only failures that I've seen in my audits of it have been machines that were buggered before we plugged them in. Fell off the back of the truck during unloading, or someone missed the fact that there was no CPU during the physical inspection, or the ethernet port on the NIC is missing or some other such random crap.

We could easily handle more simultaneous clients, but that would require purchasing more switches, and we're a bit short on cash at the moment, and I'm not about to let any hubs back onto my network.... Not that people are going to stop sending us hundreds of Superstacks any time soon. The gold content on those PCBs will eventually buy me another switch.

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: SaturnX
Yeah, because we all know that the IT departments are what generate profits for a company and aren't simply an expense hired to SUPPORT those that do generate profits. :disgust:

Can you imagine having to snailmail your documents every time you want to send someone something?

 

[Platypus]

You're still around?

 

[Goosemaster]

I need to buy you some :beer: