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Summarize an actor or actress in one sentence...........

H

happykitten

Golden Member
IMO, there are very few genuinely talented actors/actresses in the biz right now. Most of today's most popular ones seem to be typecast into the same type of roles/characters every single time they "act." Let's here some of your actor/actress summaries... remember, one sentence only! 🙂

Chris Klein: I'm an asshole, a high school jock who suddenly realizes I can be a sweet, sensitive, caring guy, thanks to the efforts of a pretty girl who "believes in me." (think "Here on Earth," "American Pie," etc.)

Jim Carrey: I can move every facial feature of mine anywhere at will, and will be that crazy, wild, wacky, psycho guy every director needs.

Keanu Reeves: I can be cool and concerned, angry and concerned, or just plain dumb (but I don't take "dumb" roles anymore)... plus, I always look constipated. (saw this description elsewhere, it was just TOO accurate to pass up)

Let's hear some of yours... 😀
 
Brad Pitt: Get a spoon, cause I am a tasty looking morsel. Oh wait, thats not what you meant, is it.... 😀
 
Tom Green: Im too stupid to get a real job, so I will harass people and film it, thinking secretly that its funny, when it is really lame, immature and pointless. Then, I will get on MTV, and make all the MTV clones love me so much that I will get all kinds of promotions for companies who want an idiot advertising for them, because they know the kids will swallow it up. To make matters worse, I will make testicular cancer a joke, and publicize it on tv for all to laugh at! God I suck.

Whoops, did I go over a sentence? My mistake...
 
Steven Seagal: I can act, and I'm good at it.

Denise Richards: I can act, and I'm good at it.

John Tesh: I can play music, and I'm good at it.

Yanni: I can play music, and I'm good at it.

Kevin Costner: If you build it, they will come, so I don't understand why no one liked Waterworld or The Postman.

Keanu Reeves: I know kung fu.

David Caradine: I know Kung fu.
 
whats up with all these asian guys who say lucy lui is ugly?!? shes hot! its some wierd asian alpha male thing going i think, somebody told me that it was because she had freckles so no body would want a pox marked troll like that... you guys are smokin crack

ohh

Patrick Stewart: Man in charge who can totally kick james kirks butt
 
Here are some more...

Harrison Ford: Han Solo = Indiana Jones = Jack Ryan.

Julia Roberts: I'm a pretty girl with the million dollar smile and a heart of gold... I can be as outspoken, demure, or determined as you'd like.

David Duchovny: Hi, I'm Mulder.

Matt Damon: I'm always the smarmy, "superior-but-you-won't-know-that-until-later" guy with the winning smile.

Cuba Gooding Jr: I know how to shout and furrow my brow a lot.

Ben Affleck: I'm a good, old-fashioned American boy.

Jennifer Lopez: I look good in leather... REAL good.

Keep them coming... you guys are doing great... 🙂
 
Bruce Campell: Hail to the king of one liners baby.

AHnold: I'll be back...in another movie that I try to claim as a thinking mans movie but it's just another hollywood guns, gore, and explosion flick that I kick ass in.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Silly teenage boys, you think that I'm going to get naked but I'll just keep leading you on till you stop buying tickets to my movies BWAHAHAHA!!!

Robert Downey Jr: You'd do drugs to if you had to kiss Alley McBeal.

Jon Claude Van Damme: Look at my ass, it's almost as sexy as my 4 word name, DAMN I'M FINE...OH NO WAIT!!! Please no! Don't hit me in the face...anywhere but in the face!!!!

Jack Nicholson: HEEEEEEEEERES Johnny! Damn I was a bad mammer jammer...and still am.

Tom Hanks: Hi my name's Tom, Tom Hanks. Momma always said that nice guys like me will make big bucks.

 
Tom Greene: I'm a no talent ass clown.

Samuel L. Jackson: "Cool Mother Fscker" is my mother fscking middle name.

Nick Cage: Don't ask me why I'm so popular, I'm trying to figure that out myself.

Quentin Tarentino: I really should stick to directing, every time I have a role in a movie I end up dying because my character is annoying...I'm not annoying, I mean would I as a director write my characters anything besides the way I am in real life, I'm not an annoying little imp with a god complex am I?

Dennis Leary: I'm an asshole. Now get me a fscking cigarette, a coffee, and a beer.
 
Paul Rubens(PeeWee) after my play house got raided i had to find work with drug addicts

Drew Barrymore-i've been to rehab enough to get great acting tips

Sean Astin-rember me? i was Rudy...a short guy who played football with all that heart

Partick Swayze-how's my hair and the redneck charm doing?

Christopher walkin-i play the scary guy...what you lookin at, c'mer i'll kill ya all

Johnny Dep-i realy am this weird...good thing tim burton likes me

Al Pachino-can i yell some more over here...pleassse.....look at how much i can scare people with this look

Kevin Spacey. i went to juliard and there fore am trained to act...better than all of you.

Arnold Schwartsnegger-look at my ticket sales they are saggin like my pectorials

Samuel L. Jackson...damn i'm still fu@#ing cool baby

John Travolta-yeah lookslike...how do you people stand me?

Winona Rider...look at how tragic i look...these big eyes you have to love and pitty me all at once

Ashley Judd. damnit i worked hard for this body and i am going to show all thoese who care.



pairofdicelost
 
Chewbacca (that's not how you spell his name, right? you know, the hairy dude in Star Wars..): arghhh... errrr... ehhhhh....ughhh... ahhh.... gaaaa... UHHH...
 
most actors/actresses: Basically talentless hacks picked up for by the media who are shoved down our throats so much that we can't help but acquire a taste for them.

 
Let me try just a word or two...

Keanu Reaves: whoa...

Samuel L. Jackson: Cool Motherf*cker - 3rd time in this tread and still funny

Arnold Schwarzenegger: DILLON!

Julia Roberts: Mouth

Angeline Jolie: Lips

Jay-Lo: Ass
 
Tom Cruise: I look good, but I look even better in slow mo, and did I mention that I can act?

Jessica Alba: I look good in anything, and did I mention that I can act?

Freddie Prinze Jr: I can act, and I'm good at it.

Julia Roberts: I won best actress because I can act and because I remembered to shave my armpits this year.

Keanu Reeves: How can I be a good actor in the Matrix when I suck straws in the real world?

Peewee: You have strong hands, do you want to be my friend?

Michael Jackson: OK

Young John Travolta: Look at this chin, aren't I a great dancer?

Old John Travolta: Look at this gut, aren't I a great dancer?

OK, that's it for now
 
Alec Baldwin: "I'm a miserable pile of dung, shoot me please."

Kim Bassinger: "I was married to the miserable pile of dung, but I've since learned the error of my ways."

Arnold Schwarzenegger: "So, when are Alec and Kim going to keep their promise and leave the country?"


😀
 
Jill Henesey - Please come back to Law & Order because I'm sick of that girl with the scratchy voice, and you're so sexy, and they never should have killed off your character since you're the best ADA on the show.

Did you know you can splice sentences together with commas? 🙂
 
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