Sumbitch (A stolen Brutuskend JOKE)

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0


A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10 ft. man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy.

The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"

"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Leroy.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"

Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool!

 
Oct 4, 2004
10,521
6
81
I heard this joke more than a decade ago. In that version, it was a hot chick who offers herself to the ballsiest man.

Hmm: Firefox says ballsiest is a word. :p
 

puffff

Platinum Member
Jun 25, 2004
2,374
0
0
Originally posted by: Brutuskend

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

I didn't know gators could scream...
 

crystal

Platinum Member
Nov 5, 1999
2,424
0
0
Originally posted by: akshatp
Originally posted by: vshah
stupid redneck, i would've taken the million

Umm.. I think thats the point of the joke? :)

No joking matter when we talk about 1 million here. I would take the million. $50,000 reward goes to the person that provides me the name :D
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,599
19
81
Originally posted by: puffff
Originally posted by: Brutuskend

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

I didn't know gators could scream...
Yeh, an' I bet you never rassled with a gator, neither! Damn foo' city folk.