Such a powerful poem

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C

chuckywang

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
20,133
1
0


?I froze your tears and made a dagger,
and stabbed it in my cock forever.
It stays there like Excalibur,
Are you my Arthur?
Say you are.

Take this cool dark steeled blade,
Steal it, sheath it, in your lake.
I?d drown with you to be together.
Must you breathe? Cos I need Heaven.?
 
G

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
A truly great poem is that that makes me change or evaluate myself IMO, and doesn't just mix some lust and a fairy tale.

Let me see if I can fix it for you:
 
G

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Ten men jumped into the Kings river for you,
they had not the heart nor the soul to confront your beauty,
nor the courage to deal with your autonomy,

I sit, pondering, wondering, searching the stars for some sign to explicate your beauty,
but alas, answers are not something I find.

Your beauty has consumed me
Like Arthur's wretched sword, piecering my mind and body
Making me bleed to no end,
You are my Excalibur

Claim the prize that is yours

It sit here, waiting, hoping
For you to be my Queen
 
M

Maximus Power

Member
Feb 26, 2005
79
0
0
Originally posted by: chuckywang


?I froze your tears and made a dagger,
and stabbed it in my cock forever.
It stays there like Excalibur,
Are you my Arthur?
Say you are.

Take this cool dark steeled blade,
Steal it, sheath it, in your lake.
I?d drown with you to be together.
Must you breathe? Cos I need Heaven.?
Click to expand...


I didn't think it was possible,
but that both sucks and blows.
 
M

MournSanity

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2002
3,126
0
0
My blog (linked in my sig) has a bunch of poetry I have written. I update it frequently with new poetry. I usually write about politics, religion, and human nature, but I sometimes write other, less serious poetry as well.
 
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