Stupid things your significant other says/does while sleeping?

[reitz]

I just walked into the bedroom where my girlfriend is sleeping. She woke up (sort of) and our conversation went like this:

Her: (pointing at alarm clock) "It doesn't say midnight. Huh? It doesn't say midnight. It doesn't say midnight. Mmmmm...."
Me: (laughing) "No, it doesn't. It says 12:09."
Her: "I don't know what I'm doing!"

Then she rolled over and went back to sleep.

Conversations like that with her are an almost nightly occurance. Any time I'm awake and moving around (even if I just roll over in bed) she'll start mumbling something random and usually unintelligible. Last night she seem to get a little mad when she asked me if I paid the water bill yet this month and I said no (we live in an apartment, and the complex pays for water). A couple of days ago, she asked me to get her a glass of water from the other bedroom so she could put out the fire by the window. Sometimes I laugh so hard I have to leave the room so I don't wake her up completely.

My roommate freshman year used to talk in his sleep a little, as did one of my ex-girlfriends, but my girlfriend seems to talk in her sleep more than anyone. Two of my favorites:

I woke up in the middle of the night to her on her knees straddling me, with her hands on my shoulders shaking me violently. "Wake up. Wake up! I need you to set the alarm clock for 12:26. I don't want to oversleep." It was a Saturday; we didn't have to be up for anything, and I've never known her to sleep past 10:00 AM.

Another night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. As soon as I started moving, she sat bolt-upright, and with a big grin on her face shouted, "Nachos!" Then she laid down and went back to sleep.

 

[Ryan]

No talking, it's just those inconspicuous farts

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: reitz
Another night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. As soon as I started moving, she sat bolt-upright, and with a big grin on her face shouted, "Nachos!" Then she laid down and went back to sleep.

If my girlfriend did that I would not have been able to stop laughing.

 

[BatmanNate]

She kicks me sometimes. I hope it's involuntary.

 

[NFS4]

"F*&k me your majesty!"

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

I once had a girlfriend and I forgot to put the seat down. She sleepwalked into the bathroom and sat down. I was asleep until I heard the blood curdling shreik. Seems the water was a bit cold and woke her up. Not pretty, especially since she was stuck and I had to pull her out.

 

[datalink7]

Another night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. As soon as I started moving, she sat bolt-upright, and with a big grin on her face shouted, "Nachos!" Then she laid down and went back to sleep.

LMFAO AHAHAHAH I'm actually really laughing out loud now ahahah

 

[FrustratedUser]

'Ohhh baby , yes yes yeeess aahhhhh. You are so big aaahhhh!'

 

[Spoooon]

In New Orleans one night, I was in bed with a friend's girlfriend. I woke up in a headlock and she was giving me a noogie while she was sleeping. She was making these smacking noises like she had a lot of peanut butter in her mouth. Strangest thing I've experienced.

 

[erikiksaz]

Originally posted by: Hayabusarider
I once had a girlfriend and I forgot to put the seat down. She sleepwalked into the bathroom and sat down. I was asleep until I heard the blood curdling shreik. Seems the water was a bit cold and woke her up. Not pretty, especially since she was stuck and I had to pull her out.

Unfortunately i had that happen to me several years ago It was late at night and i had to #2, so i headed to the toilet, sat down, and noticed that the seat was colder and wider than usual. About five seconds later (thanks to it being early in the morning), i figured the seat was up!

 

[kuk]

Originally posted by: NFS4
"F*&k me your majesty!"

Lester: 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
'Ohhh baby , yes yes yeeess aahhhhh. You are so big aaahhhh!'

He did not ask about things that you have said while in bed.

 

[agnitrate]

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
'Ohhh baby , yes yes yeeess aahhhhh. You are so big aaahhhh!'

The title said 'while sleeping'. So this is what your g/f is dreaming of? They say we dream of what we do not have.

j/k

-silver

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: datalink7

Another night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. As soon as I started moving, she sat bolt-upright, and with a big grin on her face shouted, "Nachos!" Then she laid down and went back to sleep.

LMFAO AHAHAHAH I'm actually really laughing out loud now ahahah

dude..that's freakin scary!!! i'd freak out like insane........but then again, i get jumpy easily so...

 

[FrustratedUser]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
'Ohhh baby , yes yes yeeess aahhhhh. You are so big aaahhhh!'

He did not ask about things that you have said while in bed.

I am just saying what you say in bed.

 

[FrustratedUser]

Originally posted by: agnitrate

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
'Ohhh baby , yes yes yeeess aahhhhh. You are so big aaahhhh!'

The title said 'while sleeping'. So this is what your g/f is dreaming of? They say we dream of what we do not have.

j/k

-silver

ROFL!

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
'Ohhh baby , yes yes yeeess aahhhhh. You are so big aaahhhh!'

He did not ask about things that you have said while in bed.

ROFLMOARR!!!! :Q

yeah stop killing them kittens while she's sleep talking....it's just not right man..

 

[reitz]

Originally posted by: erikiksaz
Unfortunately i had that happen to me several years ago It was late at night and i had to #2, so i headed to the toilet, sat down, and noticed that the seat was colder and wider than usual. About five seconds later (thanks to it being early in the morning), i figured the seat was up!

I've never fallen in, but I did piss on the toilet lid one night. I was half awake and didn't bother turning on the light. After I finished, it occurred to me that the sound was a little different so I turned on the light to investigate, and saw that the lid was down and the little carpet thing covering it was soaked.

 

[dxkj]

F*&k me your majesty!"

i loved that movie

wife was such a psycho

 

[dxkj]

btw, the nachos thing with the big smile is kinda freeeeaky!!

 

[shopbruin]

my first year in college, i had a roommate that would often mumble in spanish in her sleep... my second year my roommate mumbled in mandarin, and my third year she mumbled in cantonese.

i only understood what was said my third year. hehe

 

[amdskip]

I don't have a sig other but I yell random things in my sleep all the time.

 

[reitz]

Originally posted by: dxkj
btw, the nachos thing with the big smile is kinda freeeeaky!!

It should be, but we'd already been together for three years by that time, so I was used to it.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: amdskip
I don't have a sig other but I yell random things in my sleep all the time.

How do you know that you do this if there's nobody there to tell you?

 

[optoman]

My wife woke up one night and started freaking out about a giant spider that was above. She wakes me up in the process and I am thinking there is an intruder in the house and break out in laughter when I figure out what is going on.

She will have conversations in her sleep. She always gets pissed when she wakes up in the middle and yells at me.