A few Michael Jackson jokes...
When is it bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in
Why does Michael Jackson want to be a jockey?
Because he heard they ride 3 year olds
When is it bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in
Why does Michael Jackson want to be a jockey?
Because he heard they ride 3 year olds
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, Michael Jackson fvcks little boys.
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, Michael Jackson fvcks little boys.
Krazy4Real
Lifer
- Oct 3, 2003
- 12,221
- 55
- 91
cKGunslinger
Lifer
- Nov 29, 1999
- 16,408
- 57
- 91
Old people are forgetful. She pulled the same trick on him yesterday, getting to cop a feel each time.
Guy walks into a breakfast joint. He notices on the specials "chicken tongue".
He says, "Hey waitress, what's chicken tongue?"
She says, "Just what it sound like..Chicken Tongue."
He says, "That's nasty! I would never eat anything from a chickens mouth! I'll just take a couple of scrammbled eggs."
He says, "Hey waitress, what's chicken tongue?"
She says, "Just what it sound like..Chicken Tongue."
He says, "That's nasty! I would never eat anything from a chickens mouth! I'll just take a couple of scrammbled eggs."
Originally posted by: Adica
Guy walks into a breakfast joint. He notices on the specials "chicken tongue".
He says, "Hey waitress, what's chicken tongue?"
She says, "Just what it sound like..Chicken Tongue."
He says, "That's nasty! I would never eat anything from a chickens mouth! I'll just take a couple of scrammbled eggs."
LMAO Stuff out of a chicken's ass FTW!!!
IronWing
No Lifer
- Jul 20, 2001
- 72,367
- 32,935
- 136
What goes ha ha ha plop?
A man laughing his head off.
Why can't you go to the bathroom at a Beatles concert?
There's no john.
What would Abe Lincoln be doing if he were alive today?
Scratching at the roof of his coffin. (make scratching motions when telling this one.)
A man laughing his head off.
Why can't you go to the bathroom at a Beatles concert?
There's no john.
What would Abe Lincoln be doing if he were alive today?
Scratching at the roof of his coffin. (make scratching motions when telling this one.)
jimbob200521
Diamond Member
- Apr 15, 2005
- 4,108
- 29
- 91
more of a pick-up line:
(look at girl, look at your crotch, then back at girl, then back at croth, and finally back to girl) it aint gonna suck itself
(look at girl, look at your crotch, then back at girl, then back at croth, and finally back to girl) it aint gonna suck itself
What's the difference between "Beer Nuts" and "Deer Nuts" ?
*
*
*
*
*
Beer Nuts usually cost around $7.99
Deer Nuts are usually under a buck.
mdcrab
*
*
*
*
*
Beer Nuts usually cost around $7.99
Deer Nuts are usually under a buck.
mdcrab
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk!
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Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won?t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you
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why do blondes like a car with a sunroof?
because it has more leg room
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Why do prostitutes earn more than drug dealers?
They can wash their crack and sell it again?
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A walk!
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Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won?t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you
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why do blondes like a car with a sunroof?
because it has more leg room
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Why do prostitutes earn more than drug dealers?
They can wash their crack and sell it again?
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These are great jokes!!
Here is my standard:
Q: Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?
A: Anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush!
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Your mama is so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass!
Here is my standard:
Q: Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?
A: Anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush!
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Your mama is so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass!
A man falls off of a roof top. When the firefighters and paramedics arrive, they rush to the man, only to find him getting up and cleaning the dust off his clothes. "What happened?" they all exclaim, to which the man replies "I don't know. I just got here".
An eight year old girl is trying to check out a book entitled "Advice for Young Mothers" from the local library.
Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?
Little girl: I collect moths.
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Q. What do you call a fish with no eye?
A. Fsh
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Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
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Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of the blondes said, "Which of the horses should we break the leg off of, the brown one or the white one?".
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A young lady stops by her grandmother's house on the way to a dance. She wants to introduce her boy friend to her grandmother. As they are chatting, her boy friend spies some peanuts on the coffee table. He begins munching on them as they converse.
After about an hour, they are getting ready to leave and he thanks the grandmother for her hospitality and especially for the peanuts.
"Oh, your welcome young man," she says. "I appreciate you finishing them up. Ever since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off of them"
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Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?
Little girl: I collect moths.
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Q. What do you call a fish with no eye?
A. Fsh
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of the blondes said, "Which of the horses should we break the leg off of, the brown one or the white one?".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young lady stops by her grandmother's house on the way to a dance. She wants to introduce her boy friend to her grandmother. As they are chatting, her boy friend spies some peanuts on the coffee table. He begins munching on them as they converse.
After about an hour, they are getting ready to leave and he thanks the grandmother for her hospitality and especially for the peanuts.
"Oh, your welcome young man," she says. "I appreciate you finishing them up. Ever since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off of them"
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