Study shows spanking is a VERY ineffective way to get children to follow parents' wishes

[BoomerD]

 

[Azuma Hazuki]

It never worked for me. All it did was leave behind some scars I can't seem to train my lower brain out of. What always DID work, once I got to maybe age 3 or 4, was being explained to, in detail, why something was wrong, and losing things temporarily or permanently as a consequence.

 

[Pulsar]

There are a subset of kids for whom a spanking works fantastically. There is another subset who are extremely sensitive, whom it does not work for at all. For this sensitive subset, it COULD be very detrimental. The only fallacy in the anti-spanking movement is that they want to apply it universally. It really depends on the child, and who should know best what works for discipline than the parent of the child?

 

[trenchfoot]

So I'm curious, and note that I am not supporting spanking here, but how do parents deal with screaming / out of control kids in public without spanking? What works? I don't have or want kids, nor do I spend much time around them, I'm just curious about how that's supposed to be dealt with because it seems like it just isn't unless the parents spank them.

Not that my kids ever had a hissy fit in the middle of a shopping mall, but when they were old enough to know what shame was, the moment I sensed either one of them about to get indignant over what they couldn't finagle their way into having one of us buy for them, I had them stand in the middle of the mall and tell them how everybody that was passing by were laughing at him/her/them from being stupidly stubborn about something they were never ever going to get unless they earned it by behaving themselves.

Worked great for me.

 

[chucky2]

There are a subset of kids for whom a spanking works fantastically. There is another subset who are extremely sensitive, whom it does not work for at all. For this sensitive subset, it COULD be very detrimental. The only fallacy in the anti-spanking movement is that they want to apply it universally. It really depends on the child, and who should know best what works for discipline than the parent of the child?

This. Unfortunately for me I was someone who wanted to push the boundaries, thankfully for me my parents didn't spare the rod...or in my case the extension cord lol. Thing is, when you f*ck up and are getting an attitude adjustment, you know inside you knew you were F'ing up, you just wanted to run that ego and not care at the time. Guess what there youngster, got 7 loops of attitude adjustment to get you right back into the correct frame of mind haha. Put me in time out or take my toys away? WTF is that going to do in a public place for a kid who DGAF?

 

[tynopik]

The more often a child was spanked, the more likely they were to show negative effects.

how do they separate cause and effect. All these studies basically boil down to 'kids who get spanked more behave worse', well no kidding. Kids who behave worse get spanked more. Perfect little angels never need to get spanked in the first place.

 

[tynopik]

because the best way to teach your children non-violence is to get violent.

just like the best way to teach people not to kidnap others is to kidnap them (put them in jail)

 

[dank69]

So I'm curious, and note that I am not supporting spanking here, but how do parents deal with screaming / out of control kids in public without spanking? What works? I don't have or want kids, nor do I spend much time around them, I'm just curious about how that's supposed to be dealt with because it seems like it just isn't unless the parents spank them.

Redirection is usually the best option. Young kids have very short memories so if you can distract them with conversation on another topic for a minute or two they will most likely completely forget whatever they were about to freak out about. Simple shit like "hey, what do you want to play with first when we get home?" or "what do you want for lunch?"

 

[dank69]

Are you saying that violence is not an effective way to get people to do what you want?

Looking back on that post I think I should have used acceptable instead of effective.

 

[dank69]

just like the best way to teach people not to kidnap others is to kidnap them (put them in jail)

You aren't teaching them anything. You are preventing them from committing more crime while they are locked up. Pretty sure most studies have shown that people come out of jail more effective criminals than when they went in.

 

[twjr]

G

You aren't teaching them anything. You are preventing them from committing more crime while they are locked up. Pretty sure most studies have shown that people come out of jail more effective criminals than when they went in.

Given the recidivism rate in the US I'd say it is pretty clear the justice system isn't doing anything to prevent crime.

 

[1prophet]

For those that are against corporal punishment, sometimes prevention is the best cure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ezWgCbRELs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ezWgCbRELs

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

It really depends. If a kid get's spanked all the time at some point they clearly no longer fear it, thus the entire point of a spanking is negated since the fear of it is gone.

It's completely possible for a parent to only spank their kid zero, once, or twice in their lifetime - and the entire rest of their life is actually the fear of potentially getting spanked. Maybe the parent doesn't actually spank - but the child thinks they might. That's pretty much how my wife grew up, she had the fear that her parents would spank her - but they never actually did.

 

[interchange]

This is a complex subject, and our ability to draw definitive conclusions from study is small. I will begin to weigh in:

1. I agree that spanking is never the best solution and perhaps never a "good solution"
2. Discipline is not the only task of parenting, and perhaps not even the most important one
3. No one exclusively uses spanking as a form of discipline (some may protest this fact, yet even tone of voice carries discipline)
4. As humans we are the product of a great many human interactions in our development. The degree to which spanking negatively impacts us depends on a great deal more than the volume and nature of the spanking itself

 

[fskimospy]

The question of spanking is not far removed from broader criminal justice theory.

The only question that matters is, "Is the punishment just?" What the punishment instills in the child is secondary.

I have four children aged 6, 5, 2, and 1. The 5 year old one day wakes up, walks to the 1 year old's crib and smacks the sleeping 1 year old in the face.

I'm sorry, calculated and malicious actions like that merit an ass-whipping.

Why is 'justice' more important than effectiveness? A parent's job isn't to administer justice, it's to raise the best kid they can.

My dad used to spank my brother and I and it wasn't very effective at changing our behavior. It was pretty effective at making us fear and dislike him though.

 

[vi edit]

There are a subset of kids for whom a spanking works fantastically. There is another subset who are extremely sensitive, whom it does not work for at all. For this sensitive subset, it COULD be very detrimental. The only fallacy in the anti-spanking movement is that they want to apply it universally. It really depends on the child, and who should know best what works for discipline than the parent of the child?

Great post. It really does depend on the kid. My daughter is hypersensitive to *ANYTHING* and even the slightest contact will send her into a raging frenzy. I'm talking even lightly touching her hand to get her attention levels of hyper sensitive. Any aggressive discipline for her is completely unproductive. I have struck her before but that was more of a weakness on my part from her completely getting under my skin. But I don't spank her for discipline. I've threatened my youngest (a boy) with the "the belt" and it's been effective as a deterrent. But usually we withhold use of electronics or treats as more productive punishments.

If my kid is throwing a tantrum in a public place I give them a warning that I'm going to leave them there unless they stop. If they don't stop I start to walk away. Usually this escalates the screaming for a few seconds until they realize that I'm not stopping and then they come running and reduce it to a whimper. I also threaten to leave them on the side of the road. Haven't fully done that, but have found a parking lot and started to get one out of a carseat before the meltdown ended. No violence. Just the threat of being left. Which is probably long term more mentally damaging...but in the short term seems like a better option than beating the hell out of a kid going into an apeshit meltdown.

 

[dank69]

... It was pretty effective at making us fear and dislike him though.

That's probably a badge of honor to a conservative parent...

 

[Genx87]

Are you saying that violence is not an effective way to get people to do what you want?

Violence does get people to do what you want at that moment. Long term violence always fails.

 

[Atreus21]

because the best way to teach your children non-violence is to get violent.

I don't want to teach my children non-violence. I want to teach them when violence is appropriate and when it's not.

 

[Atreus21]

He's saying he doesn't care what it teaches the kid, he only cares that it is 'just'.

I said what it teaches the child is secondary to whether the punishment is just, not that I don't care about it.

 

[fskimospy]

I said what it teaches the child is secondary to whether the punishment is just, not that I don't care about it.

Maybe we aren't understanding you. It sounds like you're saying you would spank your child if you felt the punishment was deserved even if you knew that doing so was ineffective.

 

[DrunkenSano]

Depends on the kids and the culture, in Asia spanking works wonders. But the difference is that it is much more accepted as a culture, it's harder in the US because kids who get spanked have friends that don't when they misbehave. In Asia, pretty much every kid that misbehave gets beat.

 

[Bird222]

The question of spanking is not far removed from broader criminal justice theory.

The only question that matters is, "Is the punishment just?" What the punishment instills in the child is secondary.

I have four children aged 6, 5, 2, and 1. The 5 year old one day wakes up, walks to the 1 year old's crib and smacks the sleeping 1 year old in the face.

I'm sorry, calculated and malicious actions like that merit an ass-whipping.

Yep.

 

[Bird222]

As my granddaddy used to say 'can't speak French to a German'. When kids are so young they don't understand a lot of reasoning, but they understand pain. If you need to get compliance quickly and firmly, sometimes you got to spank your kids. Also there is a big difference between beating your kids and spanking them.

 

[dank69]

Yep.

Yeah, sounds like the actions of a bully to me.