Studies show having children sucks, having more children even more so

[Syringer]

http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/

This result also shows up regularly in relationship research, with children invariably reducing marital satisfaction.

As a rule, most studies show that mothers are less happy than fathers, that single parents are less happy still, that babies and toddlers are the hardest, and that each successive child produces diminishing returns.

Although..

Robin Simon, a sociologist at Wake Forest University, says parents are more depressed than nonparents no matter what their circumstances—whether they’re single or married, whether they have one child or four.

:awe: I don't think a parent would/could ever admit that their flesh & blood makes them depressed, but certainly the statistics suggest otherwise.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Everyone with a brain and the power of observation would understand that implicitly without a study needed.

 

[Mavrick]

I can understand as being a parent is quite some work for young people. You gotta see it as an investment you make for the future (when they don't rely on you as much).

Although it is depressing at first, you should see what a family reunion looks like when nobody has kids and everybody is over 60...

 

[nanette1985]

Babies and toddlers are the hardest? Nonsense. Teenagers are the hardest. You know the old saying - Little kids, little problems; Big kids, big problems.

Interesting article, but I take all that stuff with a grain of salt. There'll probably be another survey soon that says parents are happier than anyone else. And both surveys will be right.

 

[Sea Moose]

Everyone with a brain and the power of observation would understand that implicitly without a study needed.

 

[Perknose]

There'll probably be another survey soon that says parents are happier than anyone else. And both surveys will be right.

Basically something like this.

 

[Modelworks]

I think the study may be right now but not in the past. Parents now do not spend enough time with their kids and as a result the kids grow up unsupervised which leads to trouble and stress on the parents. The parents blame each other with things like "well I had to work and you should have" and justify having to work to provide for the kids. The problem with that is what many think they need to have to have a happy family ends up making the family miserable. Yes kids may like new toys, after school classes , expensive clothes or other things but if you have to work all the time to provide it you are not helping the kids.

 

[Jumpem]

I think the study may be right now but not in the past. Parents now do not spend enough time with their kids and as a result the kids grow up unsupervised which leads to trouble and stress on the parents. The parents blame each other with things like "well I had to work and you should have" and justify having to work to provide for the kids. The problem with that is what many think they need to have to have a happy family ends up making the family miserable. Yes kids may like new toys, after school classes , expensive clothes or other things but if you have to work all the time to provide it you are not helping the kids.

I disagree. It sucks to be hungry growing up and there is no food in the house. My wife and I both work, and plan to continue doing so. I want my kids to have a better childhood than we did.

 

[waggy]

I disagree. It sucks to be hungry growing up and there is no food in the house. My wife and I both work, and plan to continue doing so. I want my kids to have a better childhood than we did.

more toys and bigger house does not make a better childhood. long as you can do the basics anything more is not needed (but wanted)

 

[Jumpem]

more toys and bigger house does not make a better childhood. long as you can do the basics anything more is not needed (but wanted)

I'm not referring to toys or manisons.

Just a simple 1500sq.ft. house, one car to be shared, and enough left to pay the bills and save a bit. It takes two people working just to live a modest comfortable life these days.

 

[kia75]

I have lots of experience with children, I've taught them, I've taken care of them, I love children and this article is 100% correct!

Everyone hears about how sweet little angels they are, but kids are pooping, barfing little helions that will break you priceless entertainment center.


Having said that, did anyone here actually, you know, READ the article?

Babies and toddlers are the hardest? Nonsense. Teenagers are the hardest. You know the old saying - Little kids, little problems; Big kids, big problems.

Interesting article, but I take all that stuff with a grain of salt. There'll probably be another survey soon that says parents are happier than anyone else. And both surveys will be right.

Did you read the article? All the studies except one says people with children are more miserable then people without, and that one study turned out to be flawed. This is the first page of the article.

I think the study may be right now but not in the past. Parents now do not spend enough time with their kids and as a result the kids grow up unsupervised which leads to trouble and stress on the parents. The parents blame each other with things like "well I had to work and you should have" and justify having to work to provide for the kids. The problem with that is what many think they need to have to have a happy family ends up making the family miserable. Yes kids may like new toys, after school classes , expensive clothes or other things but if you have to work all the time to provide it you are not helping the kids.

Read the 3rd page of the article. ALL parents are spending more time with their kids then they did a few generations ago.

You are right about parents blaming each other. Having children is stressful work and stress brings arguments.

 

[SandEagle]

who cares about kids? contrary to popular belief, children ARE NOT the future. Robots are.

 

[preslove]

In the transition between agrarian and post agrarian societies, children go from financial assets (little kids do chores past a certain age) to financial burdens (children just eat, demand toys and entertainment). Financial burdens negatively affect marriages.

This is why most first world countries shrink demographically and third world countries continue to grow.

 

[Jumpem]

In the transition between agrarian and post agrarian societies, children go from financial assets (little kids do chores past a certain age) to financial burdens (children just eat, demand toys and entertainment). Financial burdens negatively affect marriages.

This is why most first world countries shrink demographically and third world countries continue to grow.

Exactly. Families used to all have six or eight kids. Now having just two is a strain.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

I don't have or ever want kids. I like my toys and not being broke too much. I don't care about family reunions or growing old and lonely etc..

People tied down with kids always try to convince you how great it is. Sure...

 

[waggy]

I don't have or ever want kids. I like my toys and not being broke too much. I don't care about family reunions or growing old and lonely etc..

People tied down with kids always try to convince you how great it is. Sure...

it is great.

but i think articles and studies (and threads like this) to many tend to look at only one side. Are kids stressfull hell yes. my daughter caused far more stress then when i was working and had my own business.

As for not wanting to have kids thats fine. NOT everyone wants or should be a parent. We have friends that have been together (not married) for 25 years and he got a vasectomy because neither want kids. hell they don't even like kids. they get stressed when around my kids who are usually well behaved. I think its better to know if you want them or not before you have them.

I really couldnt see my life without them. sure i would have more "toys" and perhaps more traveling. i figure there will be time for tha after the kids move out hehe
But she is also a great source of happiness (well both my kids are). But i do think the positives far outweigh the negatives.

 

[lxskllr]

I don't have or ever want kids. I like my toys and not being broke too much. I don't care about family reunions or growing old and lonely etc..

People tied down with kids always try to convince you how great it is. Sure...

My daughter's my best friend. She's been a lot of fun. People get stressed from kids because they're selfish. women especially. When you have a kid, someone should be staying home with it. It doesn't have to be the woman, but that's the traditional role. Women moving into the work force is the worst thing that's happened to western society.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

People tied down with kids always try to convince you how great it is. Sure...

No, they try to convince themselves how great it is. Continually babbling about the joy of kids is the only way to keep from stopping to think about how they screwed up their lives.

 

[Mermaidman]

I can understand as being a parent is quite some work for young people. You gotta see it as an investment you make for the future (when they don't rely on you as much).

Although it is depressing at first, you should see what a family reunion looks like when nobody has kids and everybody is over 60...

I've always wondered about that. WHY do people have children? Is it to have someone to love and care for you when you are old? Is it to have someone to love? Is it to have a source of joy? The purpose seems selfish.

So--What are the altruistic reasons to have children? (Other than to strengthen the "tribe.")

 

[waggy]

No, they try to convince themselves how great it is. Continually babbling about the joy of kids is the only way to keep from stopping to think about how they screwed up their lives.

is it so hard to believe people actually enjoy being a parent? Its NOT for everyone. hell many shouldn't have kids (or as many they have). but to make blanket statements such as that is ignorant.

 

[nick1985]

I don't have or ever want kids. I like my toys and not being broke too much. I don't care about family reunions or growing old and lonely etc..

People tied down with kids always try to convince you how great it is. Sure...

this.

25 here, no kids. Dont ever want kids either. Fuck that

 

[nick1985]

No, they try to convince themselves how great it is. Continually babbling about the joy of kids is the only way to keep from stopping to think about how they screwed up their lives.

and this

 

[nick1985]

is it so hard to believe people actually enjoy being a parent? Its NOT for everyone. hell many shouldn't have kids (or as many they have). but to make blanket statements such as that is ignorant.

this as well

 

[ShawnD1]

Have any studies tried to distinguish between families that wanted kids vs ones that had accidental kids? Having a kid at the wrong time would sure fuck everything up. Instead of makin the cash money as an engineer or something, you might be struggling as a night time janitor at Walmart. That would be a huge difference in overall satisfaction in life and the only difference is when the baby happened.

Most of my relatives with kids seem very happy. They're middle class to upper middle class, well established in their careers, and kids came late in the game. I don't think I really know anyone who has accidental kids.

My personal experiences might be a cultural thing. I'm just going by quick google results so the years are a bit old. In Canada in 2003, the average age for a first child was 28 years (link). Most births in Canada are to women over the age of 30. Overall fertility rate in Canada is 1.6 per woman. In the US where the OP's article was written, things are radically different. Teen pregnancy rate in the US is consistently about twice as high as Canada link. USA's fertility rate of 2.1 is about 31% higher than Canada; I'll guess many of these are accidental. Healthcare in the US is not free, so your kids doing stupid shit can easily bankrupt the family if you don't have good insurance.

 

[nonameo]

Really, I don't see this as a good reason to decide whether or not you should have children. It may be true that, in a macro sense, people with children are less happy than those without, but it doesn't have to be this way. I think that part of the reason for this is that most people don't know how to raise kids. I sure don't think I can do it(I wouldn't want kids anyway though), so I won't be going that route. I think that if you can do it right you can be as happy as someone without kids, and if its what you want, then you're probably going to be happier with kids anyway.