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strength to carry on.....

L

LostFaith

Banned
i don't think i have it any longer....

before i go on, i ask all of you to not look into who i am. I've been a member of this bbs for sometime and have created another account...please leave it at that. I ask the mods for the same respect. I would like to remain anonymous....please!!

This past Sunday, my wife and I received a call early in the morning...to find out that one of our close friends and coworkers was killed. Without going into details, it was a violent crime.

I've had friends die in accidents and I have had family die of cancer and natural causes, but this is tearing me apart. I have not slept since last Saturday, the only rest I have gotten has been through medication or alcohol. All I think about is how she must have suffered her last moments on this earth...

The funeral was today. It was a very touching mass, but I found no comfort in it. I'm trying to find solace in God, though I am not very religous by heart. This questions my faith even further. Why someone would do this to such a wonderful person is beyond me....she was only 36...and had the rest of her life in front of her. So now I sit here...trying to find peace in places I know I will not find it, questioning my own existance...the pain of the loss is too much to bear. I keep drinking more and more...even though I know it just makes the situation worse.

My eyes hurt from crying...my heart aches. I would give my pathetic life to have hers back. The thought of a world without her is too much for me to bear....

I will be unable to post responses to this thread, as I will now go back and change the email addy....I will miss her...I will miss all...

 


<< Dennilfloss, is this you? Just wondering, either way you have my condolences. >>




dude, not right!



sorry about your loss, i really am.
 


<< i don't think i have it any longer....

before i go on, i ask all of you to not look into who i am. I've been a member of this bbs for sometime and have created another account...please leave it at that. I ask the mods for the same respect. I would like to remain anonymous....please!!

This past Sunday, my wife and I received a call early in the morning...to find out that one of our close friends and coworkers was killed. Without going into details, it was a violent crime.

I've had friends die in accidents and I have had family die of cancer and natural causes, but this is tearing me apart. I have not slept since last Saturday, the only rest I have gotten has been through medication or alcohol. All I think about is how she must have suffered her last moments on this earth...

The funeral was today. It was a very touching mass, but I found no comfort in it. I'm trying to find solace in God, though I am not very religous by heart. This questions my faith even further. Why someone would do this to such a wonderful person is beyond me....she was only 36...and had the rest of her life in front of her. So now I sit here...trying to find peace in places I know I will not find it, questioning my own existance...the pain of the loss is too much to bear. I keep drinking more and more...even though I know it just makes the situation worse.

My eyes hurt from crying...my heart aches. I would give my pathetic life to have hers back. The thought of a world without her is too much for me to bear....

I will be unable to post responses to this thread, as I will now go back and change the email addy....I will miss her...I will miss all... >>



Please, please, go and see a grievance counselor.

I had a VERY close friend of mine have a similar thing happen to him, and I was feeling in a similar way. Just talking to someone will help you a great deal.
 
I wouldn't say I know how you feel, I don't....but time helps.....you just have to soldier on........
 
That's horrible. I can't imagine what it must feel like to experience that. Nothing I can say will make you feel any better, but I'm sorry to hear about that. Try not to drink excessively. I know me saying this won't do anything, but do it for yourself. You already know it will only lead to more problems. You aren't thinking straight when you're drunk. You're more easily depressed too. Sober up and try to get some rest. If you can't find any rest, exhaust yourself until you colapse. Run or lift weights or something. Physical activity will do wonders for feeling like utter sh*t. Just stay away from the mind altering substances. Using them when you're in a good state of mind is one thing, using them as an escape to problems just leads to more trouble. I know nothing will ever replace the person you lost, and I can't imagine myself in the same situation. But nothing will bring her back. And I doubt beridding the world of yourself will reunite you. Having blind faith will not likely help you either. You need to clear your mind and think rationally, above anything else. So put down any bottle you're holding and set your foot down in the right direction.

Good luck, and again sorry to hear about your loss.

-RSI
 


<< Dennilfloss, is this you? >>



Hamburgerpimp you dick.



<< He's not even gonna log back in. Again, he as my condolences. >>



He's not gonna log in again as "LostFaith." He didn't say he was leaving the boards.



IMO, the best thing you can do is talk to family, friends, and co-workers of the deceased. Get together and just talk. Everyone can talk about how they feel, or share stories and found memories of her.



Lethal
 
Hamburgerpimp you dick.

Come on no name calling. Being from Detroit, let?s just say I've had a traumatic life seeing people die. Again my condolences to him and apologies to Dennis if he is at all offended.
 
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller
 
Sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences.
I do not know whether you will read this, but do take the advice that some people already gave you and talk to someone.
 
Whoever you are, you said, "my wife and I received a call...", It may be hard to take but you still have yourself, your wife and possibly your children? to live for. Death is a part of life. We all have to face it, sooner or later. Keep faith in the fact that you still have your family and grieve(sp?) for the loss but you have to move on for your family and for the others that love you.
 
Live for them. Ask yourself what they would want you to do right now, they would not want you to give up.

Life is not pretty unless you make it so.
 
Sorry about your loss. I won't pretend to be able to understand the pain you're in because I can't, nobody can until they experience something like that.
Do take the advice about talking with someone about it, you need to let all the pain out.
 
I don't think your friend would like you dealing with her death this way. I'm not very religious but I don't believe we just stop existing when we die...she is probably looking down on you right now and I'm sure the last thing she wants is for you to deal with it this way. Grieving is ok and is part of the process but please get away from the alcohol and any abusive thoughts you may be having. Get all of the alcohol out of your house...pour it all down the drain. Talk to a counsellor or even a priest as someone has already mentioned -- they really do help.
good luck
 
Grow up !!

As all things which are born - so they must die.
It's just the way nature works and you should be glad to be a part of it.

BTW : I fully feel for you and your loss but life goes on..........

🙁
 
Why are people mad at hamburgerpimp for bringing forth the obvious - this board has been taken so many times before its not even funny, the most recent one being Patrick.

Why create a new account to grieve? Let us know who you are and we will support you.

edit: pm if you wish
 
I think that coming to terms with someone's unnatural, early and violent end is a very difficult thing to do, it would probably be a very good idea to get some help/counseling with someone who can help you get through it a little better. I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.
 
I'm so sorry. You have my deepest condolences.

I know how much you hurt. My mom died the day before Thanksgiving not too many years ago. Her heart beat once out of sync and it killed her, autopsy called it a "lethal cardiac arrythmia." I was at college, set to come home that day. My homecoming was bitter. My world was shattered, my soul empy. In one breath I cursed God and all that he stood for. I was angry. Nothing could ease that ache. For months I cried myself to sleep. It hurt, for a long time it hurt, but it does get better.

If you need to talk, email me. Create a yahoo account or something if you wish to remain anonymous. I won't pry. You're in my thoughts.
 
I'm very sorry to read about your friend's death and I understand how horrifying it must be to try to come to grips with. You have my sincere condolences.

Please see a counselor to deal with your grief. Since you know drinking isn't the answer but you continue to do it, another way must be found. You know you must go on, as hard as it might be for now.

So much has been written on the subject of why God allows evil things to happen. There are dozens and dozens of articles on the web dealing with this question, and I hope you would look up a few and that they would be helpful.

Ray Pritchard wrote that there are three things you must tell yourself in recovering from grief: You can't go back, you can't stay here, you must go forward. I urge you to get some assistance to work towards moving forward.

Feel free to PM me confidentially if you would like.
 
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