DurocShark
Lifer
... Then I egged him on. 😀
I walked into a "Corner Store" this morning for a coffee and cigs and to cash some lotto tickets and get a new one.
The counter monkey rang everything up at once, including my $5 winner and the new $2 lotto ticket and then couldn't figure out why the register wouldn't take a credit card for the purchase. Ok, his register isn't smart enough to know I was cashing in some lottery that was more than the cost of the new ticket. I told him, "Just ring up the lottery separately and use the cashed in tickets to pay for them. Then ring up everything else."
It was obviously too much for this mental giant. 5 minutes of doinking around he gave up and called the manager. When she asked what the problem was, he said, "This guy won't give me cash to pay for his lottery tickets."
I'm like, WTF? I said, "This guy doesn't know what he's doing."
He flipped. "Don't talk to me that way!"
Oh, now you've done it... "I'll talk to you any way I want."
Him: "You don't fvcking talk to me that way! I'll kick your ass!"
Ok, I'm not Red Dawn, but I'm not a 90 pound weakling either. I was ready to go. My friggin inlaws are staying with me for a week, they snore in 2 part harmony, I haven't slept in 2 days, and this guy is in my face???
"Bring it on mother fvcker! Come on! Right fvcking now!"
This went on for a bit. Probably seconds, really. But you know how time slows down in this kind of situation.
Then I realized that if he hits me first, not only do I get to take him down with impunity, he goes to jail, and I can sue him and the store and make a few bucks! With lots of witnesses, I was in like flynn. I smiled. 🙂
"Come on you piece of sh!t! Hit me! Hit me! Right here!" I continued egging him on and he was screeching louder and louder and leaning over the counter obviously ready to hit me. I was trying my darndest to get him to come across the counter at me. Without touching him or violating one of the five sacred subjects. (Race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, physical handicap.)
Too bad the manager shoved him in the back room before he could. She was all apologizing. I told her not to worry about it, it's not her fault he's an ass.
Sigh.
It's been an hour now and I'm still shaking from the adrenaline. So what am I doing? Drinking coffee! LoL!
Cliffs:
Clerk couldn't figure out how to ring up purchase.
He got upset and couldn't handle that he was an idiot.
He threatened me.
Shouting match.
I tried unsuccessfully to get him to hit me so I could be rich.
Mmm... coffee.
I walked into a "Corner Store" this morning for a coffee and cigs and to cash some lotto tickets and get a new one.
The counter monkey rang everything up at once, including my $5 winner and the new $2 lotto ticket and then couldn't figure out why the register wouldn't take a credit card for the purchase. Ok, his register isn't smart enough to know I was cashing in some lottery that was more than the cost of the new ticket. I told him, "Just ring up the lottery separately and use the cashed in tickets to pay for them. Then ring up everything else."
It was obviously too much for this mental giant. 5 minutes of doinking around he gave up and called the manager. When she asked what the problem was, he said, "This guy won't give me cash to pay for his lottery tickets."
I'm like, WTF? I said, "This guy doesn't know what he's doing."
He flipped. "Don't talk to me that way!"
Oh, now you've done it... "I'll talk to you any way I want."
Him: "You don't fvcking talk to me that way! I'll kick your ass!"
Ok, I'm not Red Dawn, but I'm not a 90 pound weakling either. I was ready to go. My friggin inlaws are staying with me for a week, they snore in 2 part harmony, I haven't slept in 2 days, and this guy is in my face???
"Bring it on mother fvcker! Come on! Right fvcking now!"
This went on for a bit. Probably seconds, really. But you know how time slows down in this kind of situation.
Then I realized that if he hits me first, not only do I get to take him down with impunity, he goes to jail, and I can sue him and the store and make a few bucks! With lots of witnesses, I was in like flynn. I smiled. 🙂
"Come on you piece of sh!t! Hit me! Hit me! Right here!" I continued egging him on and he was screeching louder and louder and leaning over the counter obviously ready to hit me. I was trying my darndest to get him to come across the counter at me. Without touching him or violating one of the five sacred subjects. (Race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, physical handicap.)
Too bad the manager shoved him in the back room before he could. She was all apologizing. I told her not to worry about it, it's not her fault he's an ass.
Sigh.
It's been an hour now and I'm still shaking from the adrenaline. So what am I doing? Drinking coffee! LoL!
Cliffs:
Clerk couldn't figure out how to ring up purchase.
He got upset and couldn't handle that he was an idiot.
He threatened me.
Shouting match.
I tried unsuccessfully to get him to hit me so I could be rich.
Mmm... coffee.
