Still feeling down-in-the-dumps about this whole...

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: L1FE

Originally posted by: Modular
It sounds like many people have changed this into an "I hate my job thread". That being said there is really only one mindset that makes most jobs tolerable:

Work is a means to an end. If you don't know what your end is, then you will never be happy with work.

That end might be retirement at 45, or so you can go on 2 vacations a year, or maybe to give your kids the life that you wish you were given. Maybe it's all of the above. The point is that if you are drifting throughout your life without goals, then you will never feel accomplished. We all must work, it's an unfortunate truth that no one can escape from. That being said, the reality of work is that it isn't what we want to do, but we know that we can't accomplish what we want without it.

Sit down, set out some goals; both short and long term. Start saving for retirement and get an idea of what you want that to look like and realize that you are creating a better life for your future and present by doing so.

Maybe I'm not reading the same posts as you are, but a lot of us are not saying we hate our jobs. In fact, it would almost seem like a lot of us really like our jobs, feel like we have great lives in general, but also feel like there's something missing. Again, maybe I'm reading different posts from you.

Agree with LIFE -- if it was as simple as finding another job, I would've done that a long time ago.

 

[imported_Imp]

Originally posted by: ggnl
I railed against the corporate world too when I was 6 months out of college. Two years later I realize that I was just terrified that I would never again be the special little flower with limitless potential that everyone was made out to be when they were still in college.

Honestly, what's so bad about corporate life? Do you think you're going to work any less if you're doing it for yourself? Is it somehow more of an accomplishment? I take on challenging tasks on a daily basis as a "corporate drone". Is it somehow less meaningful that I overcome them because I don't own the business, or because I have to do it in business casual.

It sounds like you have a bruised ego. You thought you were special and now you're out in the real world and coming to realize that you're just like everyone else. So you bitch about your corporate job and your corporate friends like it's their fault when the problem is all yours.

Wow. I must be special cause that "limitless potential" bubble burst for me during my first year in college. Found out just about everyone could do as well as anyone esle (grade-wise) if they tried. Some people (like me), just didn't care enough to. And very few people were actuall all that special with "limitless potential".

You haven'e experienced corporate life until you've gone to work in the morning by subway, and walked among a hundred people dressed in business/business-casual attire. All this bullsh~t does kinda feel "safe" though.

 

[Descartes]

I think most people have felt something like that at some point. I've been there, but for different reasons. I've always had enough goals set for myself that I never really took time to think about the moment; always looking forward. That carries with it some consequences as well. It's finding that balance between living in the moment and planning for the future where I think most people find some sense of happiness.

I also think you're being unfair about the married crowd. Being recently married, I can honestly say that I had no idea I'd feel like this. I'm 27 now, and the past decade or so was spent in an almost nervous fit trying to realize my various goals. It's not that people get married and have kids to forget about being bored; rather, most have already been there, done that, and they finally achieve a sense of calm with someone. Life need not be boring even when you're settled. The wife and I travel once every other month or so, and we have a lot of fun with everything we do together.

So, like others have said, it sounds like you need to reevaluate your goals. Maybe your girlfriend is included in those goals or maybe she isn't. The sooner you figure that out the sooner you can move on.

 

[Flyback]

Originally posted by: Martin
Call me a cynic, but you're right in that people get married, mow lawns etc because keeping your self busy with inane shit you think is important is a great way to escape from from feeling listless and lost the way you (and these days, myself as well) do.

Then you have the sound bite folks who like to proclaim things like "life is what you make of it", "you have a choice" etc. They sound nice and all, but I'm willing to bet that none of the people that say things like that here have a life that is anything to boast of.

As someone in a situation similar to yours, I have no advice to offer. The routine of it all gets to me as well, and I sometimes feel like buying a bike, a tent and a sleeping bag, and going away and biking through the world for several years and other weird stuff like that. Of course, my brain then kicks in and reminds me that I should be working, saving, etc etc.

I'll bite since you addressed what I said (re: my trite "Life is what you make it.").

It isn't about having a "boastful" life. Quite the opposite. It's about doing what you want, not what others deem worthy ("boastful" implies you are still perceiving the projections of others as what matters).

Doing things on your own terms isn't always easy. I personally have gone through a lot of stress and anxiety--it is often very confusing when you don't have a roadmap that others have traveled. You work within the constraints of time and ability, and you're still subject to being human and the emotions it entails. But it is possible and worthwhile to carve your path, and to ignore that you have choice in the matter is to live a lie.

You get out what you put in.

 

[dud]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: dud
You are entering a new phase of your life. It's like a rebirth in a way. Gone is school and the freedom you once had. This phase of life involves waking up, going to work, taking a crap, going to bed and then repeating until you reach the next phase of life ... retirement. I'm not trying to make it sound depressing but it can get that way. I've been in this phase for ove 20 years now and sometimes I could just blow my brains out with how exciting and challenging life can NOT get.

Thanks for the honest reply, dud... that's more or less what I'm afraid of.

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I would put out the question on an intellectual basis only: is there really any point to living out that life? Why not just die after college, then?

In other words (and I'm not saying this to try to sound like a dick): Why have you accepted this lifestyle for 20 years? Why, after a year or two, did you not say to yourself, "You know what? To heck with this. There has to be another way." ... and then go do something CRAZY or RISKY?

In my mind there are two things that can avoid this lifestyle, and they are related:
1) Have hobbies that involve skill-building, so you're always challenging yourself
2) Start a business around your passion... look at Donald Trump, Richard Branson, etc... those guys are old, but they have a ton of fun, and it's not because they're rich.

I'm doing (1). Maybe I need to do (2) as well.

Alphathree33,

You are obviously young and a bit naive. This is normal for the young. When I was in my early 20's and right out of college I felt the same way. I jumped from job-to-job when i wasn't happy, but then something happened to me ... life. I met someone and after a 2.5 year (rocky) relationship we got married. Our 20th anniversary is in 2 weeks. When you become involved with people and things (like buying a car on payments) you severly limit what you can and cannot do with your life. Remember this when you consider asking her to marry you. Every decision today naroows the almost endless possibilities you have for the future.

If you can find something that interests you ... by all means do it. One set of events changed my life forever ... the death of my parents. I've found it hard to recover. It's hard to go day-to-day when you see the inevitable.

Good luck ...

 

[Modular]

Originally posted by: L1FE

Maybe I'm not reading the same posts as you are, but a lot of us are not saying we hate our jobs. In fact, it would almost seem like a lot of us really like our jobs, feel like we have great lives in general, but also feel like there's something missing. Again, maybe I'm reading different posts from you.

Woops, that came out wrong. The meaning behind what I was saying hopefully wasn't lost...goals are an important part of enjoying life. Otherwise you will have nothing to look at and say you accomplished, and goals are the one thing the OP hasn't posted about. He has expressed (as have others) that they were thinking they would get satisfaction from work, stuff, etc. when that road has been tried and tried again and found wanting. If you have some specific goals, however, you have a baseline from which you can ascertain whether or not you are living for something in the present, as well as an idea of what you are living for in the future. Both are very important to happiness.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: dud

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: dud
You are entering a new phase of your life. It's like a rebirth in a way. Gone is school and the freedom you once had. This phase of life involves waking up, going to work, taking a crap, going to bed and then repeating until you reach the next phase of life ... retirement. I'm not trying to make it sound depressing but it can get that way. I've been in this phase for ove 20 years now and sometimes I could just blow my brains out with how exciting and challenging life can NOT get.

Thanks for the honest reply, dud... that's more or less what I'm afraid of.

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I would put out the question on an intellectual basis only: is there really any point to living out that life? Why not just die after college, then?

In other words (and I'm not saying this to try to sound like a dick): Why have you accepted this lifestyle for 20 years? Why, after a year or two, did you not say to yourself, "You know what? To heck with this. There has to be another way." ... and then go do something CRAZY or RISKY?

In my mind there are two things that can avoid this lifestyle, and they are related:
1) Have hobbies that involve skill-building, so you're always challenging yourself
2) Start a business around your passion... look at Donald Trump, Richard Branson, etc... those guys are old, but they have a ton of fun, and it's not because they're rich.

I'm doing (1). Maybe I need to do (2) as well.

Alphathree33,

You are obviously young and a bit naive. This is normal for the young. When I was in my early 20's and right out of college I felt the same way. I jumped from job-to-job when i wasn't happy, but then something happened to me ... life. I met someone and after a 2.5 year (rocky) relationship we got married. Our 20th anniversary is in 2 weeks.

Congrats to you!

It's hard to go day-to-day when you see the inevitable.

Indeed. I've suffered a few recent setbacks in my life, and recently several people very close to me experienced near-death events. It's easy to forget about mortality until you start seeing it thrust in your face with more regularity.

 

[Randum]

well thats definitely true. I have the same issue, been out since december, ive been a swimmer my whole life, and now i am an avid cyclist, and actually had to defend my boss saying it was a waste of my time.....
and in the same breath, they are all more or less without personal interests other than drinking or clothing or my favorite, talking about celebrities!...no personal interests/hobbies and if i mention i know anything about computers, i get ripped apart about what a nerd i am!

 

[illusion88]

Join a club? Break the routine? Work less, play more?

EDIT: All right, fvck that New Phase of your life bull shit. Do what you want to do. Honestly, what are you afraid of? Making less money? If you want to work three days a week so you can swim, dance and fvck your girl then you should be doing that instead of being unhappy in an environment you don't want to be in.

 

[Jschmuck2]

You know, it's funny, I feel exactly the same way.

Except that I'm an actor, so my post college work isn't guaranteed. In fact, the only thing that's guaranteed about it, is that most of the time, it won't be there. Do you ever watch those shows (or Shawshank Redemption) where a guy gets out prison and then can't handle the real world because of it's lack of schedule? That's what does it for me: the idea that now that I'm out of school, there's nothing solidly in place to occupy my time. At least when you have a 9 to 5 you're going to get up to go to work the next day and you can look forward to it. No such luck for me.

As far as human interaction goes, it sounds like we're in the same boat too. My girlfriend is an actor but still in school working on her degree so I really or get to see her a few times a week. I feel you brother.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

marked (I'm going to comment on your mentioning of starting a business in a bit, busy for the next few hours though)