If you want to do any real game programming (which I assume based on your distaste for flash) start learning C++.
And forget about doing RPGs or RTS games right now. Those are the most complicated types of games you can possibly imagine. Just small elements like path finding make up entire topics in computer science all by themselves. Even if you were an experienced game programmer, those are such huge projects that you couldn't get anything done by yourself in any appreciable length of time (read: you'd never finish anything).
Start simple like Pong, Breakout, Tetris, or a old fashioned top down or side scrolling shooter. Get a feel for the main loop, object management, the concept of simulating multiple independent objects and their interaction methods, movement, input handling, and animation. Then move on to a side scrolling Sonic/Mario type platform game. Once you're happy with that, modify it to a 3D version.
Don't worry about 3D and all the fancy stuff, 3D graphics are easy. But it's the concepts of object management and positioning, game state, and main loop, that you need to get down, and those things are the same for Tetris as they are for Doom 3.
Basically don't get caught up in the fancy stuff. Don't worry about 3D programming or physics programming, worry about GAME programming
Set out a game plan. Know everything you are going to do before you start and don't get caught up in perpetually modifying it and adding "unlimited features" on the fly and making it better before you ever finish your original idea. Lock yourself into a feature set and commit to it before you start straying from your goals with no end in sight. If you come up with new ideas mid project and can't fit them in, save it for the next project.
And the best advise and the most important part is FINISH WHAT YOU START. Even if it's just Pong or Tetris, FINISH IT and polish it up. You can't learn how to get better if you don't know what works and what doesn't because you never finished anything.
If you want cheap entry to actual game hardware and what to get down and dirty, but still make simple games to learn, check out
http://www.gbadev.org.