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Started new job, have some concerns

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i could give those barbarians a run for their money

- once held violent diarrhea during a 16 hour marathon day in grad school, successfully waited till i got home
- once didn't go for 8 days straight while on vacation at disney world

shoot, i should put these on my resume, they are more impressive than anything i have done professionally...

Wouldn't being preoccupied with holding in your crap ruin your trip to Disney World? I know when I'm sitting on a chocolate choochoo it makes concentrating difficult if not impossible.
 
poo-pourri-400.jpg
 
i could give those barbarians a run for their money

- once held violent diarrhea during a 16 hour marathon day in grad school, successfully waited till i got home
- once didn't go for 8 days straight while on vacation at disney world

shoot, i should put these on my resume, they are more impressive than anything i have done professionally...

You sound like me when I was still in high school. I got detention a few times because I ran home during lunch to unload the composter. Didn't want to use those shitty washrooms in school that were never flushed, peed all over, and then have to wash my hands at the faucets that had a flow rate of a gallon per hour.

Man, I was ready to do it in my pants a few times.
 
1) I was the smartest guy in the room at my old job. At the new place it seems like everyone is 4 levels above me in everything.

Good. Being the smartest guy in the room is boring and means it's time to move on to something more challenging. Now you have room to grow.
 
Actually that's not true. Supposedly you should have a movement after every meal.

Besides, pooping at work saves money...water bill, tp, etc.

1x a day here, doesn't matter if I'm calorie restricted to 1600 calories or bulking on 5 to 6k. Maybe it's age related, I'm (relatively) young. PS Fritzo try eating a snack (or meal if you can) before lunch hour so that way you can leave the office and drop your payload where you're more comfortable
 
I feel like your body also learns when you normally shit and gets ready about that time. If you can go through a week of not going at work and waiting till home, then you probably won't feel like you HAVE to go at work anymore.
 
If you are the dumbest, you will learn a lot.

The other two things are annoying and weird but not deal breakers 🙂

I've seen an old man cut his toenails at the gym right in front of me and I wished he would have a heart attack right there and die. It's vile. Old men are fucking disgusting, though.
 
Just started a network engineer/consultant at a new company this week, and it's been nerve wracking.

1) I was the smartest guy in the room at my old job. At the new place it seems like everyone is 4 levels above me in everything. I just had a conversation today about wifi access points and only understood 1/4 of what the guy was talking about. Something about Cisco has 30 mip transmitters that interconnect the ARP with the firmware based controlling pin to disallow mac invalidation.

2) Our old building had three floors, and I would seek out an unused bathroom for complete privacy for any no. 2 incidents. The new place is a single floor office and the bathroom is right outside the offices AND the walls are very thin. You can hear and smell everything! The only solution is to avoid eating and drinking anything at work.

3) We have an accountant, and he's about as old as a person can get and still hold a pencil. This morning we were in a meeting when I noticed hair getting on me. One of the guys said "Oh...ol' Dave must be cutting his beard in here again. We'll have to have another talk with him." I guess the guy comes in, watches TV on our projector after hours, and trims his beard. WTF????

1) It happens. Try to learn a thing or two.

2) NBD, I drop dook all the time here. It's life...

3) Weird......

Are you at least making more than you did before???
 
Heh - I thinking about making a similar thread. Different content but I have some concerns about my new job too.

I think #1 just comes with new territory. IIRC you were at your last job for quite a while? That level of familiarity and knowledge about the tools you is tough to lose BUT this is a sign that there are lots of opportunities to develop yourself further.

I know that change is hard and I am going through that now as well. Lots to learn and lots of pestering people with questions but that will fade with time

There might be quite a few things you miss from the last job (There are quite a few on my list) but its important to focus on things that you like or think you will like about your new job
 
1) I was the smartest guy in the room at my old job. At the new place it seems like everyone is 4 levels above me in everything. I just had a conversation today about wifi access points and only understood 1/4 of what the guy was talking about. Something about Cisco has 30 mip transmitters that interconnect the ARP with the firmware based controlling pin to disallow mac invalidation.

Basically, I think this is just saying that ARP is connected between the mips so when people go from one WAP to another, they don't lose registration. This allows clients to float without having to re-register/re-auth. Most wifi clients do this pretty well.

2) Our old building had three floors, and I would seek out an unused bathroom for complete privacy for any no. 2 incidents. The new place is a single floor office and the bathroom is right outside the offices AND the walls are very thin. You can hear and smell everything! The only solution is to avoid eating and drinking anything at work.

Problem solved:
http://www.amazon.com/Depend-Adjusta.../dp/B000FFAAD2

3) We have an accountant, and he's about as old as a person can get and still hold a pencil. This morning we were in a meeting when I noticed hair getting on me. One of the guys said "Oh...ol' Dave must be cutting his beard in here again. We'll have to have another talk with him." I guess the guy comes in, watches TV on our projector after hours, and trims his beard. WTF????

Just hope it was his beard....
 
LOL- I'm at a consulting firm, not a consultant to the company 😛

Anyway, I think I'm just suffering from impostor syndrome. Hopefully it will eventually go away 🙂

If it makes you feel better, my career is about to do a 180 and I have no idea what things will be like for me next month. I'm going from a tech admin position to a director position with an emphasis on tech, but no real admin work.... Basically, I'm going to be leaned on by fewer people overall, but deadlines will be far more dire.

I think, overall, I'll have to do the buzzword trick and try to wow them and confuse them with terminology.
 
2. just hold it until you get home. i have never gone #2 in public since the age of 4 or 5. but then again, i have bowels of steel.
Really? Good God man. Man I would've shit my pants countless times since the age of 4 or 5 if I had tried to hold it. LOOOOL.

OP, maybe to help overcome your bathroom shyness you could go into the bathroom, and squat right in the middle of the floor (not a stall) and launch a Democrat. It might seem weird at first but it'll establish a stance of dominance for ya there.
 
Really? Good God man. Man I would've shit my pants countless times since the age of 4 or 5 if I had tried to hold it. LOOOOL.

OP, maybe to help overcome your bathroom shyness you could go into the bathroom, and squat right in the middle of the floor (not a stall) and launch a Democrat. It might seem weird at first but it'll establish a stance of dominance for ya there.

Someone posted this on ATOT a few months ago....crapping in a bathroom with thin walls doesn't sound bad compared to this story:
http://www.celebritynetworth.com/ar...-embarrassing-private-jet-flight-of-all-time/

I still believe that using company time to crap is one of the biggest work perks you can have as a free american.
 
I still believe that using company time to crap is one of the biggest work perks you can have as a free american.

You can never underestimate the home field advantage, however. Fortunately for me, I work from home so I get paid to take a dump in my home crapper.
 
1. I would have asked what does that mean and why is it important. Take it as an opportunity to learn something new.

2. When you have to go, you have to go. Who cares what they hear? Unless you scream while taking a dump,.. and in that case, seek medical attention.

3. Since it is a known problem, I am sure they will indeed talk to Dave. So, I would not worry about it happening again.
 
If it makes you feel better, my career is about to do a 180 and I have no idea what things will be like for me next month. I'm going from a tech admin position to a director position with an emphasis on tech, but no real admin work.... Basically, I'm going to be leaned on by fewer people overall, but deadlines will be far more dire.

I think, overall, I'll have to do the buzzword trick and try to wow them and confuse them with terminology.

That job is actually easy. Just schedule a Monday morning meeting every week, ask everyone the status of their projects, and then pop over to people's desks twice a day asking if they're done yet.
 
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