Squirrels are much worse then I thought

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,164
1,637
126
Just think of it from the squirrels point of view. Human Terrorists have been rigging the world full of traps which murder squirrels at every opportunity. Millions have fallen due to "electric wires", "cars", and other such magics.
 

whm1974

Diamond Member
Jul 24, 2016
9,436
1,567
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Just think of it from the squirrels point of view. Human Terrorists have been rigging the world full of traps which murder squirrels at every opportunity. Millions have fallen due to "electric wires", "cars", and other such magics.
And don't Squirrel Hunting as well.:p
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
57,957
8,204
126
I can't think of a single time in my life a squirrel caused me problems. Humans OTOH...
 

ImpulsE69

Lifer
Jan 8, 2010
14,946
1,077
126
You've never truly seen the face of pure evil until you've witnessed first hand the pure horror being 30 foot in the air with one barrelling towards you, its intent unknown, but only those cold black beady eyes boring into your soul as it bolts toward you and you are tethered to the line, with nowhere to go, nothing you can do but pray to your god....
 

whm1974

Diamond Member
Jul 24, 2016
9,436
1,567
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You've never truly seen the face of pure evil until you've witnessed first hand the pure horror being 30 foot in the air with one barrelling towards you, its intent unknown, but only those cold black beady eyes boring into your soul as it bolts toward you and you are tethered to the line, with nowhere to go, nothing you can do but pray to your god....
Have squirrels actually attack people before? I know they will badly mess up your hands and fingers if you are stupid enough to grab one.
 

ImpulsE69

Lifer
Jan 8, 2010
14,946
1,077
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Have squirrels actually attack people before? I know they will badly mess up your hands and fingers if you are stupid enough to grab one.

They are more like gremlins, more ferocious though, even more than say...the dreaded honey badger. <shivers>

Someone caught them on tape running out in front of cars to wreck them and then they fist bumped afterwards. Evil I say.
 

whm1974

Diamond Member
Jul 24, 2016
9,436
1,567
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They are more like gremlins, more ferocious though, even more than say...the dreaded honey badger. <shivers>

Someone caught them on tape running out in front of cars to wreck them and then they fist bumped afterwards. Evil I say.
OMG, and honey badgers are very well capable of holding their own against bears.
 

bbhaag

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2011
6,885
2,250
146
F'ing squirrels!!!!!!!!


Haha I like how toward the end they show all the acorns lying on the ground and the service techs have a yellow 5 gallon bucket placed there to catch them all. A few more acorns were inside than they were expecting.:smiley:
 

Jon-T

Senior member
Jun 5, 2011
491
292
136
There is even a website that tracks squirrel attacks on our civilization.

https://cybersquirrel1.com

By looking at the maps one can easily see they are distributed into little furry terrorist cells.
 

kn51

Senior member
Aug 16, 2012
700
120
106
Have squirrels actually attack people before? I know they will badly mess up your hands and fingers if you are stupid enough to grab one.

Yes. There was one in the local news that attacked several people. One of the accounts (it was an elderly gentleman) was it leapt on his back and knocked him to the ground.
 

highland145

Lifer
Oct 12, 2009
43,910
6,278
136
Yes. There was one in the local news that attacked several people. One of the accounts (it was an elderly gentleman) was it leapt on his back and knocked him to the ground.
Sure that wasn't a cougar?
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
Had a squirrel make a nest under the hood of my car all through winter a few years back. Chewed up my O2 sensor and gas line to the point where you can smell gas just being near the car. Went on for many weeks. No luck with the havahart traps until 1 day I hear rustling under the hood of my car. It was 3 newborns and mom was in the nearby bushes. She watched my every move. I put the squealing babies into the trap in my yard and eventually she went in after them where it closed on her. She panicked and trampled around in there frantically, possibly injuring them too. I drove them a few miles away and set her free where she ran up a nearby tree. Not sure if her babies ever made it but I left them in a shoebox there. One thing I learned is that they are not cute furry little harmless creatures. Reading the above, I'm surprised it didn't attack me after.

EDIT> Here's the video - with the full story in the description. The baby at the end was still moving too:
 
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kn51

Senior member
Aug 16, 2012
700
120
106
I have tons of high trees (40 feet or so) and squirrels.

A couple weeks ago I actually saw a squirrel fall out of a tree. I thought it was some limb that was falling but about half way down realized what it was. When it hit the ground made a thud. I thought "oh great, time to scoop up the dead thing" but it stood up and for a few moments acted dazed and confused. Then it ran off to climb another tree.

Chipmunks...those are the real buttholes.
 

Iron Woode

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 10, 1999
30,994
12,541
136
We had a juvenile squirrel enter our store one day. It went unnoticed until near close when it came out of nowhere and tried to corner me. I told it to stop and leave me alone. It never listened. It tried to run up my leg before I could get to the other side of the counter. It then followed me and ran around the store for a while. I spent 20 minutes trying to get it out of the store. I did close the store first. We could have received a huge fine for having it in the store.
 

kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
28,678
40,017
136
We must all be vigilant against the bushy tailed menace. I used to have to shoot them. Now I know it's more fun to thwart their plans, drives'em nuts. My version of poetic justice. For instance, one of the easier, low cost remedies.


When I was a kid they got into our camp and destroyed all the linens and towels and such, got some wires too. Over a grand in damages if memory serves. There was a $1 bounty put on red squirrels from that point on.