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Speak Friend & Enter (Warning: for Hardcore LOTR Fans Only)

W

WombatWoman

Diamond Member
Reading through another thread, which asked whether we still have our old yearbooks, got my creative juices flowing. They dribbled all over the keyboard, and this was the result...

The Yearbook of Middle-Earth High School: Distinguished Alumni
  • NAME: Frodo Baggins
  • NICKNAMES: Ringbearer, Frodo of the Nine Fingers, Stumpy
  • TYPICAL QUOTE: "Dammit, Sam, if you put your hand down in my pocket and say "I've found an oliphaunt" one more time, I swear I'll..."
  • FAVORITE MOVIES: "Raiders of the Lost Orc," "Ithilien Jones and the Cracks of Doom"
  • FAVORITE SONGS: "Take This Shelob and Shove It," "Nothing You Can Say Can Tear Me Away from Morgul," "Short People"
  • ALWAYS SEEN WITH: Pipeweed paraphernalia in one hand and The One Ring in the other
  • ACTIVITIES & HONORS: Fellowship of the Nine, Mayor of Michel Delving, Webmaster of "halfling.com"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • NAME: Gimli
  • NICKNAMES: Elf-Friend, Son of Glóin, Lock-Bearer, Dirty Hairy
  • TYPICAL QUOTE: "Iarwain Ben-adar, you da bombadil!"
  • FAVORITE MOVIES: "Dude, Where's My Axe?" "Khazad-dum and Dumber"
  • FAVORITE SONGS: "Every Ruse Has its Thorin," "Mithril Threads Among the Gold"
  • ALWAYS SEEN WITH: A lock of Galadriel's hair in one hand and Legolas's fanny in the other
  • ACTIVITIES & HONORS: Mines of Moria Pep Squad, Beard Club for Men

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • NAME: Gollum
  • NICKNAMES: Sméagol, Slinker, Stinker, Fingermuncher, Ringworm
  • TYPICAL QUOTE: "Like Yoda we talks, yes we do, my preciousssssss..."
  • FAVORITE MOVIES: "Goldfinger," "Do the Wight Thing"
  • FAVORITE SONGS: "Wind Beneath My Rings," "Green Glop Keeps Fallin' from My Head"
  • ALWAYS SEEN WITH: Nasssty hobbitses holding one hand and a knife hidden in the other
  • ACTIVITIES & HONORS: Middle-Earth Riddlers Association, Backstabbers Anonymous, Grateful Dead Marshing Band

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • NAME: Gandalf
  • NICKNAMES: Grey Pilgrim, Grey Wanderer, Stormcrow, Greyhame, Mithrandir, The White Rider, The Cat in the Hat
  • TYPICAL QUOTE: "Begone, vile grammarian! YOU... SHALL... NOT... PARSE!"
  • FAVORITE MOVIES: "The Wiz," "The Good, the Balrog, and the Ugly," "Saruman, Wrong Number"
  • FAVORITE SONGS: "Fool of a Took on the Hill," "Beorn to Be Wiled," "One Tolkien Over the Line"
  • ALWAYS SEEN WITH: Shadowfax's reins in one hand and Saruman's balls in the other
  • ACTIVITIES & HONORS: Istari Honor Society, Wizness Administration Council

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • NAME: Sauron
  • NICKNAMES: The Lidless Eye, The Necromancer, The Black Hand, The Dark Lord, The Nameless One, The Real Slim Shady
  • TYPICAL QUOTE: "Hi, I'm Sauron. Gimme a ring sometime!"
  • FAVORITE MOVIES: "Men in Black," "Mordor Most Foul," "Get Shorty"
  • FAVORITE SONGS: "He's Not Heavy, He's My Barad-Dûr," "Smoke Gets in Your Eye"
  • ALWAYS SEEN WITH: A Palantír in one hand and a bottle of Clear-Eyes in the other
  • ACTIVITIES & HONORS: Nazgûl Polo Team; Voted "Most Likely to Give Isildur the Finger"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~\/\/Ø/\/\ßÅT\/\/Ø/\/\ÅÑ~
 


<< STFU. Some people are a waste of skin. :| >>


Like you?
rolleye.gif
 


<< STFU. Some people are a waste of skin. :| >>



at least you have recognized your faults, now time to improve upon them, I would probably start with the anti-semitic name, but that is just me..

/edit sorry that stmt got me mad, my original reply was going to be a thank you to WW for another well worked out and funny post.
 


<< STFU. Some people are a waste of skin. >>



Wow, you came back to post a bunch of stupid posts and get banned again. What a pathetic, miserable life you must have.
 


<< ALWAYS SEEN WITH: A lock of Galadriel's hair in one hand and Legolas's fanny in the other >>

:Q

Good stuff. 🙂
 


<<

<< STFU. Some people are a waste of skin. >>



Wow, you came back to post a bunch of stupid posts and get banned again. What a pathetic, miserable life you must have. >>

My thoughts exactly.

Anyway, nice post, WW. 🙂
 
Dear Fool:

I am reminded of this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien: "I am not sure about Trolls. I think they are mere 'counterfeits'... they return to mere stone images when not in the dark."
 
TYPICAL QUOTE: "Begone, vile grammarian! YOU... SHALL... NOT... PARSE!"


lmao...... my Business Writing Prof would like that one.......
 


<< To ffmcobalt: I don't like you much either, but I do not crap on your threads to express my contempt. >>

I know you don't like me. But that's because of something that you misjudged me for a long time ago and refuse to understand where I was coming from and what actually happened.

I wasn't saying that I dislike you. Don't be so paranoid. I don't think it's all that funny. That's all. That's my opinion. If you were to come into my thread and tell me how you feel about it, I wouldn't care. That's your opinion and I respect that. If the forums were restricted to positive replies, AT would lose quit a bit of activity.

nik
 
<< I wasn't saying that I dislike you. Don't be so paranoid. I don't think it's all that funny. That's all. >>

How could anyone possibly read personal dislike into a comment that consists only of a "disgust" smiley? Yeah, that's paranoia, all right. :|

How strange that, of all the threads posted by various people, you single out this one as unfunny.

 


<< << I wasn't saying that I dislike you. Don't be so paranoid. I don't think it's all that funny. That's all. >> How could anyone possibly read personal dislike into a comment that consists only of a "disgust" smiley? Yeah, that's paranoia, all right. :| How strange that, of all the threads posted by various people, you single out this one as unfunny. >>

First of all, the other threads I either have posted in that they're funny by adding to them, have posted in them that they aren't funny (like this one), or haven't read them yet. Good lord. Does a smiley face automatically mean that I'm insulting the thread's author? Hmm... news to me.

Per the conversations that I've already had with WombatWoman, I assumed she would understand that I wasn't insulting her. I've told her many times that I don't dislike her. Quite the contrary. I assumed that she would understand that the post was directed at the attempted humor.

You guys are amazing.

nik
 


<< Hahaha... Sauron was the best IMO. 😀 >>



LOL too true.



<< How to get beat up by female LOTR fans (or fanatics)
Say to their face in nelson-style: "HAHA, Legolas is GAY!" >>



Heh I think that would just elicit the usual "damn it's always that way isn't it...it's always the elvishly beautiful far-sighted archer snipers that are gay."
 
<< Say to their face in nelson-style: "HAHA, Legolas is GAY!" >>

Sigh.

I wish I could believe that the yummy-looking Legolas is a "straight arrow," but...

They don't call elves "Fairy Folk" for nothing.
 
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