Something odd about Facebook's "People You May Know" list

[88keys]

About 5 years ago (Just before I had joined Facebook), I was dating online and there was this one girl I was texting for about a week or so and set up a date at her place to watch a movie. The date didn't go over very well and the relationship fizzled out very quickly after that.

Now 5 years later her face mysteriously shows up in that "people you may know" list. Which itself isn't strange except that we have no mutual friends, and I even checked to see if there were any friends of friends and I found nothing. She lives about an hour away from me. We never at any point lived in the same town, went to the same school, nor worked for the same company. I've never given my number to Facebook and the email associated with my account hasn't existed in at least 3 years or so.

I'm not even that active on facebook. I mostly use it to read news feeds, share random thoughts that pop in my head and occasionally troll my dull witted conservative friends. Most of the pics I have on FB are old with only 3 of them being from this year.

It's been bugging me all day. How the hell does Facebook *know* about an acquaintance of whom I had a very brief relationship with 5 years ago before either of us had joined FB? (yes I checked her join date too)

The only other explanation that I can come up with is that people who look you up or repeatedly view your profile show up in the "people you may know" list which Facebook officially denies but I take their word with a truckload of salt TBH. But even then I didn't even remember her last name and pretty much forgot about her, and I can't imagine why she would have been interested in (or even remembered) me after all of these years. Just about everyone else on that list is someone with mutual friends, former co-worker, classmate, etc. That I'm not interested in friending. But it's obvious why they show up on that list, and I'm at a loss to explain this unless it's just an amazing coincidence.

 

[Lean L]

My guess is a combination of saved phone numbers and she viewed your profile a few times.

On the other hand FB is pretty good at never suggesting people you never want to see again too. My block list is empty yet a few people who I have mutual friends with never show up anywhere.

Same tech is found on LinkedIn. Crazy.

 

[88keys]

Honestly I don't even look through that list very often. It was a slow morning at work and I just happened to check it on a whim. I've never blocked anyone from view mainly because I don't look there often enough for stuff like that to bother me.

I thought about the phone numbers too, and I have a tendency to be slow when it comes to deleting old contacts, but I lost all of mine and had to re acquire them back due to a failed backup/restore on my old iPhone 3GS which couldn't have been any later than 2011. The number I have now is the same as it was then, and if she held onto my number for much longer then who knows. But then again I've never put my number on Facebook.
That isn't to say that they don't have it considering I have facebook friends who obviously have my phone number who probably sync their contacts and such with facebook.

Really makes you wonder how much they really know about you. I always think about how all it would take is one Facebook friend to have a malware infected computer that would harvest profile data that we think is private.

 

[88keys]

She just friend requested me this morning...... I think this reinforces my suspicions.

 

[phucheneh]

It's phone numbers. If you have someone's phone number (definitely) or if someone has your phone number (probably) and Facebook can make the association, it will.

The less I use Facebook, the more it seems to do this. Some kind of bait to get you to keep coming back, I assume.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I always found that a bit creepy, but what's even creeper is Google+. When it first came out I decided to check out what it was about so I signed up, and there they were, all my friends that I know IRL. WTF?! How do they know? They were not even suggested, they were already added as if the account was not new. It was not really online friends either, it was people I knew IRL that I never really interacted with online like old coworkers and such. Now at first I figured maybe it has to do with the fact that I had them in Office Communicator at work and perhaps it shares that data with Google+, but considering it's two different companies I don't think it's that. I promptly closed the account after that, I did not need that much creepyness in my life. But now we're pretty much forced to use G+ if we want to use youtube so meh, got screwed having to use it anyway. I rarely comment on videos or do much anymore though as I don't know who can see that now.

Also DON'T put your phone number in Facebook, Google or w/e. It's bad enough they can track our IRL stuff anyway, but giving it your actual home number is just asking for it. Not to mention they probably sell it to telemarketers.

TBH I'm actually surprised Google did not buy Facebook yet. I think it's eventually going to happen. It just seems like something Google would want. They seem so keen on trying to push G+ though.

 

[Crono]

I always found that a bit creepy, but what's even creeper is Google+. When it first came out I decided to check out what it was about so I signed up, and there they were, all my friends that I know IRL. WTF?! How do they know? They were not even suggested, they were already added as if the account was not new. It was not really online friends either, it was people I knew IRL that I never really interacted with online like old coworkers and such. Now at first I figured maybe it has to do with the fact that I had them in Office Communicator at work and perhaps it shares that data with Google+, but considering it's two different companies I don't think it's that. I promptly closed the account after that, I did not need that much creepyness in my life. But now we're pretty much forced to use G+ if we want to use youtube so meh, got screwed having to use it anyway. I rarely comment on videos or do much anymore though as I don't know who can see that now.

Also DON'T put your phone number in Facebook, Google or w/e. It's bad enough they can track our IRL stuff anyway, but giving it your actual home number is just asking for it. Not to mention they probably sell it to telemarketers.

TBH I'm actually surprised Google did not buy Facebook yet. I think it's eventually going to happen. It just seems like something Google would want. They seem so keen on trying to push G+ though.

Facebook's face recognition/tagging is worse than anything Google does. Not that it's a competition.
Most people assume privacy and data control online is unnecessary and only for the paranoid, but given enough time and entities with access to your data, eventually someone will abuse that access or simply fail to secure it. You really can't do anything after the fact, which is why it's important to think 5 to 15 years in the future.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Facebook's face recognition/tagging is worse than anything Google does. Not that it's a competition.
Most people assume privacy and data control online is unnecessary and only for the paranoid, but given enough time and entities with access to your data, eventually someone will abuse that access or simply fail to secure it. You really can't do anything after the fact, which is why it's important to think 5 to 15 years in the future.

Yeah not a fan of the face recognition stuff either. Really Facebook is getting pretty bad too with stuff. It was not quite this bad before.

All these things are pure gold for organizations like the NSA and other bad guys who want to ruin your life. Have to watch what you post as more people than you think see it. Posting that you are leaving this Friday at 8am for a 2 week vacation in some place that's really far is a really bad idea, yet people do it all the time.

 

[John Connor]

And people fear the NSA? Fuck... It's the companies.The NSA envies Facebook and Google.

When I joined Facebook several years ago the people you may know list showed a guy that I knew from a forum. I never knew his phone number and the only contact I had with him was with IM's using Trillian. I have no idea how Facebook knew I was talking to him. I used Ccleaner in the past so there were no cookies or anything like that. I do run a tight ship too.

 

[darkswordsman17]

YetAnotherOMGFacebookOhWaitNoThere'sASimpleAnswerToThisThread. WTF why is it adding a space in there?

I always found that a bit creepy, but what's even creeper is Google+. When it first came out I decided to check out what it was about so I signed up, and there they were, all my friends that I know IRL. WTF?! How do they know? They were not even suggested, they were already added as if the account was not new. It was not really online friends either, it was people I knew IRL that I never really interacted with online like old coworkers and such. Now at first I figured maybe it has to do with the fact that I had them in Office Communicator at work and perhaps it shares that data with Google+, but considering it's two different companies I don't think it's that. I promptly closed the account after that, I did not need that much creepyness in my life. But now we're pretty much forced to use G+ if we want to use youtube so meh, got screwed having to use it anyway. I rarely comment on videos or do much anymore though as I don't know who can see that now.

Also DON'T put your phone number in Facebook, Google or w/e. It's bad enough they can track our IRL stuff anyway, but giving it your actual home number is just asking for it. Not to mention they probably sell it to telemarketers.

TBH I'm actually surprised Google did not buy Facebook yet. I think it's eventually going to happen. It just seems like something Google would want. They seem so keen on trying to push G+ though.

Are you sure you didn't have them in your Gmail address book already? Pretty sure the only way they would've already been added as friends on there is if you had them in your Gmail or other Google service and already labeled on there or you agreed to let them sync your contacts. Could've also been due to Android.

People act like OMG Google knows! Yeah because you fucking tell them. Its not like they have detectives that just find them and add them, its because of your contact with the people. And yes, plenty of it is because they were the ones that asked (although I'm almost completely certain you still had to agree to add them to your circles so if they were already listed as friends on there you had to have done something that put them there).

Big whoop. Oh no, someone I know in person that has my contact info was able to contact me through one of the most popular internet service companies! (That you were probably already contacting people through, gee I wonder how the hell they knew you two knew each other).

 

[lxskllr]

And people fear the NSA? Fuck... It's the companies.The NSA envies Facebook and Google.

NSA=Facebook/Google/any other data they want...

They're the private curators for the NSA, but it's not all bad. Think of the tax dollars saved by the NSA not having to duplicate work.

 

[darkswordsman17]

And people fear the NSA? Fuck... It's the companies.The NSA envies Facebook and Google.

When I joined Facebook several years ago the people you may know list showed a guy that I knew from a forum. I never knew his phone number and the only contact I had with him was with IM's using Trillian. I have no idea how Facebook knew I was talking to him. I used Ccleaner in the past so there were no cookies or anything like that. I do run a tight ship too.

Where do you think the NSA is getting [some of] their info from?

Yes, because I'm sure there's no way he could've had your account name used on Trillian added to his contacts (that or I'm willing to bet you probably e-mailed him and forgot, might've deleted the messages/him from your end, but it could still show up on his).

 

[88keys]

It's phone numbers. If you have someone's phone number (definitely) or if someone has your phone number (probably) and Facebook can make the association, it will.

The less I use Facebook, the more it seems to do this. Some kind of bait to get you to keep coming back, I assume.

I've never given out my phone number to facebook.

 

[John Connor]

Where do you think the NSA is getting [some of] their info from?

Yes, because I'm sure there's no way he could've had your account name used on Trillian added to his contacts (that or I'm willing to bet you probably e-mailed him and forgot, might've deleted the messages/him from your end, but it could still show up on his).

That's probably what it was! An E-mail! I did exchange a few.

 

[Red Squirrel]

YetAnotherOMGFacebookOhWaitNoThere'sASimpleAnswerToThisThread. WTF why is it adding a space in there?



Are you sure you didn't have them in your Gmail address book already? Pretty sure the only way they would've already been added as friends on there is if you had them in your Gmail or other Google service and already labeled on there or you agreed to let them sync your contacts. Could've also been due to Android.

People act like OMG Google knows! Yeah because you fucking tell them. Its not like they have detectives that just find them and add them, its because of your contact with the people. And yes, plenty of it is because they were the ones that asked (although I'm almost completely certain you still had to agree to add them to your circles so if they were already listed as friends on there you had to have done something that put them there).

Big whoop. Oh no, someone I know in person that has my contact info was able to contact me through one of the most popular internet service companies! (That you were probably already contacting people through, gee I wonder how the hell they knew you two knew each other).

Nope, don't use gmail. At one point I used gmail as my domain registrar's administrative contact till it dawned on me how insecure that is. Though, now that you mention it, the friends that were added automatically may have been using gmail so if I sent them an email using my own domain that is registered under my own name, maybe that's how they knew? Still creepy as hell that they go that deep though.

This is not telling them directly, this is them taking very little info that you indirectly let them access to (such as sending an email through their network) and manipulating it in a way to get even more information on you. If that's not creepy I don't know what is.

 

[minendo]

My exwife started showing up on my list. Just the person I want to add to my friends list.

 

[ImpulsE69]

There was some study done I can't remember where it was, but basically showed you didn't have to be on FB at all and they still had tons of info on you simply from all the people that knew you and the info and connections THEY had. What you saw doesn't surprise me at all. I know there are many people out there that think it's tin foil hatish to be a bit suspect of these companies but I ask you, when was the last time a company (or the government) did something for you just because they were feeling nice with nothing to gain from it? They have everything to gain. What we have to lose remains to be seen.

 

[pete6032]

I've never given out my phone number to facebook.

If you install the mobile app then they have your phone number and can read through all your texts. If they have your mobile number and her mobile number and you exchanged text messages then they would be able to tell.

 

[88keys]

I really wonder how many people read the entire post before commenting.

Our relationship started and ended before either of us joined Facebook.


I'm all about looking for rational explanations, but I think a coincidence is far fetched at this point. She obviously remembered me well enough to request me 5 years after a 1 & 1/2 week stint while I barely remembered who she was. I'd be willing to bet that she looked me up and thought about this a few times before actually doing it.

 

[ImpulsE69]

I really wonder how many people read the entire post before commenting.

Our relationship started and ended before either of us joined Facebook.


I'm all about looking for rational explanations, but I think a coincidence is far fetched at this point. She obviously remembered me well enough to request me 5 years after a 1 & 1/2 week stint while I barely remembered who she was. I'd be willing to bet that she looked me up and thought about this a few times before actually doing it.

There really are only 3 options:

1. She for some reason looked you up out of boreddom/curiosity which started it
2. You or her somewhere had some sort of connection in their database that made a connection and linked you to her and you just don't realize it (could be her phones address book, could be mutual aquaintances..could be just about anything these days). It doesn't matter that it all took place before you were on FB. If you/her have a smart phone that clouds phone contacts, it is very possible (consider maybe she didn't delete you).
3. It was a coincidence due to proximity and (maybe interests?).

 

[T9D]

It's meant to be, go bang her

 

[Crono]

I really wonder how many people read the entire post before commenting.

Our relationship started and ended before either of us joined Facebook.


I'm all about looking for rational explanations, but I think a coincidence is far fetched at this point. She obviously remembered me well enough to request me 5 years after a 1 & 1/2 week stint while I barely remembered who she was. I'd be willing to bet that she looked me up and thought about this a few times before actually doing it.

I don't know how many degrees of separation Facebook uses for their "people you may know" algorithm, and even just being on the same WiFi network - like a public one, linked with some other factor without even knowing it - might do it. Facebooks can correlate a lot from things like phone numbers, contacts, location/IP, place names mentioned in posts, etc.

 

[darkswordsman17]

Nope, don't use gmail. At one point I used gmail as my domain registrar's administrative contact till it dawned on me how insecure that is. Though, now that you mention it, the friends that were added automatically may have been using gmail so if I sent them an email using my own domain that is registered under my own name, maybe that's how they knew? Still creepy as hell that they go that deep though.

This is not telling them directly, this is them taking very little info that you indirectly let them access to (such as sending an email through their network) and manipulating it in a way to get even more information on you. If that's not creepy I don't know what is.

I'm still calling BS. You in some way gave them permission to do that, as I've had multiple Google accounts and none of them automatically had friends added unless they were already listed as friends in some Google program and even then I'm almost certain I had to ok the sync. GMail and Android contacts are the only ones I can recall that might have done it automatically, but you had to have them added as contacts on there (meaning it wouldn't do it just because you had e-mailed them at some point, they had to be registered as a contact on there).

There's a lot of people claiming shit while they forgot that they ok'ed it. A lot of people don't pay any attention and just ok all sorts of shit.

Facebook and Google are also being suspected for shit when its others doing it. The college I went to sold our information to various third parties. I also know people that signed up for practically anything and everything and then wonder why they get hit up by telemarketers. They'll rant about Facebook when their bank or something is actually the ones behind it (you people knew banks have been doing that for a long time, right?).

I'm not defending this stuff, as I hate it too, but I don't think people realize that its everywhere that is doing it and there's a lot of more nefarious organizations than Facebook and Google involved (seriously, look into say the credit bureaus and the info they have and ways they go about getting it). But half the shit people are blaming those two for are their own damn fault.

There was some study done I can't remember where it was, but basically showed you didn't have to be on FB at all and they still had tons of info on you simply from all the people that knew you and the info and connections THEY had. What you saw doesn't surprise me at all. I know there are many people out there that think it's tin foil hatish to be a bit suspect of these companies but I ask you, when was the last time a company (or the government) did something for you just because they were feeling nice with nothing to gain from it? They have everything to gain. What we have to lose remains to be seen.

If you have people posting all sorts of shit about you on Facebook then I don't know why you're surprised that they have information about you.

You people do realize Facebook is effectively just a database with a GUI overlay, right?

Who said Facebook was doing anything for you? From their end you're just taking up space since they can't push ads at you or offer you to advertisers (fairly sure they can't do that unless you opted in with them, so if you don't have an account they can't; but maybe they can, wouldn't surprise me considering there's no real consumer protection for a lot of this shit).

 

[zerocool84]

I always found that a bit creepy, but what's even creeper is Google+. When it first came out I decided to check out what it was about so I signed up, and there they were, all my friends that I know IRL. WTF?! How do they know? They were not even suggested, they were already added as if the account was not new. It was not really online friends either, it was people I knew IRL that I never really interacted with online like old coworkers and such. Now at first I figured maybe it has to do with the fact that I had them in Office Communicator at work and perhaps it shares that data with Google+, but considering it's two different companies I don't think it's that. I promptly closed the account after that, I did not need that much creepyness in my life. But now we're pretty much forced to use G+ if we want to use youtube so meh, got screwed having to use it anyway. I rarely comment on videos or do much anymore though as I don't know who can see that now.

Also DON'T put your phone number in Facebook, Google or w/e. It's bad enough they can track our IRL stuff anyway, but giving it your actual home number is just asking for it. Not to mention they probably sell it to telemarketers.

TBH I'm actually surprised Google did not buy Facebook yet. I think it's eventually going to happen. It just seems like something Google would want. They seem so keen on trying to push G+ though.

Then you ok'd Google+ to add them. I have an Android phone and Google+ and not one was automatically added from my phone on it.

 

[darkswordsman17]

I really wonder how many people read the entire post before commenting.

Our relationship started and ended before either of us joined Facebook.


I'm all about looking for rational explanations, but I think a coincidence is far fetched at this point. She obviously remembered me well enough to request me 5 years after a 1 & 1/2 week stint while I barely remembered who she was. I'd be willing to bet that she looked me up and thought about this a few times before actually doing it.

I don't know who you were responding to, but seems to me you provided the most likely explanation with your first 3 posts: she looked for you on there.

Now maybe it was just some random thing, it might have been due to her finding you via a friend of a friend or something (she added a new friend that is a friend with someone you're friends with but that you're not; hell, you know not everyone makes their Facebook private, right? Meaning she could've found a you on someone's page and not be friends with them but still able to search for you). Is however you originally got into contact with her a possibility (she syncs contacts from some old program/site). Are you sure there isn't other contact info you're forgetting? Just because your e-mail isn't active doesn't mean anything, it's still connected with your account so it could still link using it.