Someone you know/love was murdered?

[Felisity]

I have always felt very alone and never have had many people to relate to with this event of my past. I was 14 when it happened and basically grew up right away. I had a very difficult time for the first ten years after I lost him, and I am simply curious if there are other folks out there who may feel brave enough to share their experiences here. To all who read this who have lost someone in such a tragic, unfair way.... /big hugs/

With that being said.... I've been thinking alot about my Dad recently as the time seems to finally be drawing near for the man who murdered him to be sent to the gas chamber. The crime was nearly 20 years ago and the man was sentenced prior to the automatic appeal law being changed in 1996 -- now it's one automatic appeal but before it was two. He's finally used up every trick he could muster and it seems that his second appeal may finally be exhausted. I currently receive one to two letters per month from the DAs office every time any motions are filed and to let me know what is going on with the appeal.

I'm torn --- when they finally do schedule him to be sent to the gas chamber, I've always felt like I should be there. Not necessarily wanting to be there, but to show support of my Father and to finally see some real closure. This has dragged on for so very long and while my life has definitely been different because of losing my Father like this, I would like to think I've done well for myself. I would like to have that much needed closure and stop receiving weekly reminders, so I am hoping that this does finally draw to a conclusion sometime very soon.

Here's the most recent motion in pdf format - which gives the background of the crime: Text

(Mods if this post somehow violates any rules or is deemed not appropriate please remove and accept my sincere apology. ) -Lisa

 

[Descartes]

Fortunately, I have not. I've had friends that have lost spouses and/or children in a tragic way, and the destruction in their life is visible in every word from their mouth and expression on their face.

I wish you continued strength and hope you find the closure you deserve!

 

[TallBill]

I've never lost anyone like that. I'm pretty sure that I'd go to the execution. Just read the pdf. So sad that you lost your father over $1,100

 

[Mxylplyx]

I cant imagine the shear rage one must feel after an event like that. Anything less than being allowed to enact revenge on the guy in the most sick ways possible just seems unfair.

 

[pulse8]

Wow...I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family. I can't imagine what it would be like if that happened to my father, but I feel like I would want to be there for the execution for the same reasons you mentioned.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to handle that situation and only the way that makes you feel best about your situation.

 

[iamwiz82]

I have never experienced it personally, however a friend of the family's son was murdered over a girl, if I remember correctly. It happened about 8 years ago. He was shot with a shotgun.

Personally, I would want to go.

 

[Modular]

Originally posted by: Kaelyn
I would like to think I've done well for myself. I would like to have that much needed closure and stop receiving weekly reminders, so I am hoping that this does finally draw to a conclusion sometime very soon.

I have never experienced a situation like this, but I think that I can speak for most people when I say that that fact that you are pushing on and keeping your father's memory alive is proof to the point that you have done well for yourself.

Personally, I would go to the execution. I am biased as I'm not in your situation, but I feel like that would be the only way for me to get closure over a situation like this. I read the .pdf and the fact that he did this for money is just a slap in the face of you and your father as well as all the people who's lives he touched and was never able to touch.

I really do hope you can find closure through this soon.

 

[Felisity]

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: Kaelyn
I would like to think I've done well for myself. I would like to have that much needed closure and stop receiving weekly reminders, so I am hoping that this does finally draw to a conclusion sometime very soon.

I have never experienced a situation like this, but I think that I can speak for most people when I say that that fact that you are pushing on and keeping your father's memory alive is proof to the point that you have done well for yourself.

Personally, I would go to the execution. I am biased as I'm not in your situation, but I feel like that would be the only way for me to get closure over a situation like this. I read the .pdf and the fact that he did this for money is just a slap in the face of you and your father as well as all the people who's lives he touched and was never able to touch.

I really do hope you can find closure through this soon.

There's more to the situation than what is given in that brief background on the pdf. The man had previously worked as an employee of Wickes Lumber and that's why my Dad knew him and let him into the store. If the guy was simply seeking money my Dad would have given it to him with no fighting. I firmly believe money wasn't the reason the man shot him and beat him to death. Cocaine is the illegal drug the man was using and I think it was simply a combination of many things. Paranoia was probably a big factor as obviously my Father knew the man was using drugs. Perhaps anger and jealousy as well. The man was transferred to a different store to work after my Father had been placed at the Douglasville store. I'm not clear on why but I have a feeling there's some deeper resentment there that has to do with the whole manager trainee/manager thing.

Crowe has a daughter five years younger than me. I often think of her and feel so sad that she had to grow up without her Father too... all because of her Father's fleeting actions of anger and cruelty.

EDIT -- My Father wasn't even suppose to be working that night either. He closed the store for someone who went home sick earlier in the day. /sigh

 

[Allison Krausse]

My two half-brothers father was shot and killed by two men when his hardware store was being robbed. Their dad jumped infront of his father the person they were actually shooting at and my brother who was standing next to him, watching everything. This was 22 years ago. The two men were caught, and were given life in prison.

Also my friends father was shot and killed right in front of her house. She found him l laying on the ground. This happened about 3 years ago. The person who did it has not yet been caught, and they have no idea why it happened.

 

[Syrch]

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: Kaelyn
I would like to think I've done well for myself. I would like to have that much needed closure and stop receiving weekly reminders, so I am hoping that this does finally draw to a conclusion sometime very soon.

I have never experienced a situation like this, but I think that I can speak for most people when I say that that fact that you are pushing on and keeping your father's memory alive is proof to the point that you have done well for yourself.

Personally, I would go to the execution. I am biased as I'm not in your situation, but I feel like that would be the only way for me to get closure over a situation like this. I read the .pdf and the fact that he did this for money is just a slap in the face of you and your father as well as all the people who's lives he touched and was never able to touch.

I really do hope you can find closure through this soon.

QFT. May your dad R.I.P. I would definitely want to go and see it.

 

[dullard]

Sorry for your loss, it will be painful at times. I don't believe that you have to be there for the execution to show support for your father. You could just as well hold a candlelight vigil, visit his grave, or an infinite number of other ways to honor him. You'll still get the closure from knowing the murderer paid the ultimate price. And that way, you won't be scarred from seeing an execution (if that is the type of thing that bothers you).

I have felt a similar loss. I was younger (8 years old, I believe). My grandparents (mom's side) were on a month long trip travelling around in their pickup/camper. They were calling their kids every day. Then the phones stopped ringing. They were never heard from nor seen again.

The details have been put together fairly clearly. My grandparents were coin traders and contacted someone who placed an add in the back of a magazine. They were to meet at a camp ground and were going to sell him some coins. I guess he wanted the coins for free and the easiest way for him was to kill them. The only physical evidence of a crime was their abandoned pickup truck being found a few weeks later at the campground with traces of 3 types of cleaned up blood (two of which matched my grandparents). He started using their credit cards, but was eventually arrested for murder in another state for another crime.

There is some odd law that says one state can't interrigate an inmate in another state. So, he never was interrigated about my grandparents - he committed suicide in jail. My grandparents credit cards were with him, and their possessions were buried at his house. Thus, I'm certain it was him even though he was never arrested, interrigated, blood type determined, etc. for the murder of my grandparents.

 

[KB]

I have lost several beloved pets to cancer, car accidents and other issues. They were very sad events that effected me, but human life is even more beloved than pets.

Sounds like the guy who committed the crime is a real sicko. If this happened to me I would think I would be tempted to go to see if the guy is remorseful or not. If he isn't I would hold up a folded sign that says something like "Die you F#$%#^%$^# pig. Rot in H#%^". I happen to love my parents and would be quite upset at losing either of them. Luckily this hasn't happened. Best of luck to you.

 

[Miramonti]

These are shoes I've never walked in nor even close to, and can't imagine the pains and difficulties involved. It would be nice if you could find others who have gone to executions and get their feedback whether or not they now believe it was best to go or not to go.

Either way, have mercy on yourself for the decision that you make. Imo you mustn't feel you should or shouldn't go in order to respect your father, the love and respect is too deep to call that into question either way. Its what is in your heart that counts and noone can take the truth from you. It just wouldn't seem fair in the least for an innocent person and unfortunate victim of this crime like yourself to also be burdened with guilt or regret over making such difficult decisions.

 

[jdoggg12]

My sisters bf/fiance (Chad) was shot in the face. He was mugged and ended up beating the muggers ass.... the p**sy went home and got a gun and hunted Chad down and shot him in the face for kicking his ass.

Chads mom was/is one of the most vocal and influential voices of advocacy for the 3-strikes law.

 

[ElFenix]

my uncle was murdered for coconuts.

link to news story

 

[thecoolnessrune]

My mother was strangled by an ex bf when me and bro were 18 months old. There wasn't enough evidence to put him away. He lives right here in town. We get harassing calls from extended family/ friends of his several times a week ever since. We're 18 now.

 

[AUMM]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
My mother was strangled by an ex bf when me and bro were 18 months old. There wasn't enough evidence to put him away. He lives right here in town. We get harassing calls from extended family/ friends of his several times a week ever since. We're 18 now.

why would they still harass you? I can't imagine seeing the guy that killed you mom around town.....

 

[Ktulu]

My cousin was recently murdered a week ago.

link

 

[SilthDraeth]

To all those that have lost loved ones.

 

[Felisity]

Originally posted by: SilthDraeth

To all those that have lost loved ones.

Thank you.

And thank you to everyone for your responses. I have a new viewpoint on this now after hearing others share the account of losing their loved ones in similar crimes. I already was leaning toward going to the execution but now I feel even more strongly that I should go. It seems many many people who do not even have the choice that I have. I am lucky to have this choice and I am going to see this to the end, not only because I seek some form of visual closure but also for all those who can't see the person who took their loved one away punished to the fullest extent of the law.

It may sound strange but I feel that given this opportunity I should take it to honor my Father, and to honor those who've lost that do not have this chance that I have. My heartfelt prayers and thoughts are with those who shared their experiences here and I thank you for giving me this different, yet important viewpoint. /gentle hugs/

 

[Kirby]

My uncle.

 

[GTaudiophile]

I have thankfully never lost a close friend or family member as such.

Could I go? I don't know. I have the feeling, that watching death, no matter the circumstances, is a vision that remains forever...maybe even haunts.

I don't know if I would want my closure to be the vision of another man dying.

What would I consider doing instead? I would ask my closest friend to go instead of me. I would ask him/her to take a cell phone. I would then take my cell phone, my S.O. or spouse, a candle, some flowers, and a photo of my deceased loved one and have a quiet vigil at his/her grave. I would gather there, and while standing there hand-in-hand with my S.O./spouse, I would lay down the flowers, light a candle, hold the photograph, say a few prayers for ALL involved (friends & enemies), shed lots of tears, and wait for that phone call letting me know that it is finished.

End of story.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: AUMM

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
My mother was strangled by an ex bf when me and bro were 18 months old. There wasn't enough evidence to put him away. He lives right here in town. We get harassing calls from extended family/ friends of his several times a week ever since. We're 18 now.

why would they still harass you? I can't imagine seeing the guy that killed you mom around town.....

It's usually just ring your phone and then hang up when you answer kind of stuff.. sometimes they do little puzzles like asking for a name that sounds similar to my mothers. They also have given our number to several people to make us sound like we are local drug dealers, and so they call asking for crack / etc.

With us in college, we simply don't have the money to drag stuff into court against people who don't have anything to begin with. So what if I sued them for 10 million in damages + lawyer fees they dont even have $10 to their name.

As for him, I never see him. But I know where he lives. If I were to ever hurt him I'd be put away for a long time, and that would ruin what I'm working for. I simply can't touch him..

Additionally, he has no reason to hurt us. Unfortunately, our mother was terrified of him in her last months, and when we were born she gave us his last name in order to try to calm him. So on our birth certificates it shows him as the father, even though later on during the custody battle while our grandparents were trying to get us, DNA tests proved he wasn't the father (don't know who he his).

For 18 years for insurance and schooling purposes we've had to use his last name. Just these past few months (in June) we finally got our names changed to our current Cody and Casey Weaver. It feels great, although getting the birth certificate changed is still proving to be difficult..

Step by step, we're leaving that horrible past behind, and hopefully we can come through strong and ready to take their place as a representation of the Weaver family.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: AUMM

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
My mother was strangled by an ex bf when me and bro were 18 months old. There wasn't enough evidence to put him away. He lives right here in town. We get harassing calls from extended family/ friends of his several times a week ever since. We're 18 now.

why would they still harass you? I can't imagine seeing the guy that killed you mom around town.....

It's usually just ring your phone and then hang up when you answer kind of stuff.. sometimes they do little puzzles like asking for a name that sounds similar to my mothers. They also have given our number to several people to make us sound like we are local drug dealers, and so they call asking for crack / etc.

With us in college, we simply don't have the money to drag stuff into court against people who don't have anything to begin with. So what if I sued them for 10 million in damages + lawyer fees they dont even have $10 to their name.

As for him, I never see him. But I know where he lives. If I were to ever hurt him I'd be put away for a long time, and that would ruin what I'm working for. I simply can't touch him..

Additionally, he has no reason to hurt us. Unfortunately, our mother was terrified of him in her last months, and when we were born she gave us his last name in order to try to calm him. So on our birth certificates it shows him as the father, even though later on during the custody battle while our grandparents were trying to get us, DNA tests proved he wasn't the father (don't know who he his).

For 18 years for insurance and schooling purposes we've had to use his last name. Just these past few months (in June) we finally got our names changed to our current Cody and Casey Weaver. It feels great, although getting the birth certificate changed is still proving to be difficult..

Step by step, we're leaving that horrible past behind, and hopefully we can come through strong and ready to take their place as a representation of the Weaver family.

that is horrible man. i don't know how you put up with that. you must have so much patients and control.

where do you live, i kinda wanna come down there and beat his and his familys ass myself.

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: AUMM

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
My mother was strangled by an ex bf when me and bro were 18 months old. There wasn't enough evidence to put him away. He lives right here in town. We get harassing calls from extended family/ friends of his several times a week ever since. We're 18 now.

why would they still harass you? I can't imagine seeing the guy that killed you mom around town.....

It's usually just ring your phone and then hang up when you answer kind of stuff.. sometimes they do little puzzles like asking for a name that sounds similar to my mothers. They also have given our number to several people to make us sound like we are local drug dealers, and so they call asking for crack / etc.

With us in college, we simply don't have the money to drag stuff into court against people who don't have anything to begin with. So what if I sued them for 10 million in damages + lawyer fees they dont even have $10 to their name.

As for him, I never see him. But I know where he lives. If I were to ever hurt him I'd be put away for a long time, and that would ruin what I'm working for. I simply can't touch him..

Additionally, he has no reason to hurt us. Unfortunately, our mother was terrified of him in her last months, and when we were born she gave us his last name in order to try to calm him. So on our birth certificates it shows him as the father, even though later on during the custody battle while our grandparents were trying to get us, DNA tests proved he wasn't the father (don't know who he his).

For 18 years for insurance and schooling purposes we've had to use his last name. Just these past few months (in June) we finally got our names changed to our current Cody and Casey Weaver. It feels great, although getting the birth certificate changed is still proving to be difficult..

Step by step, we're leaving that horrible past behind, and hopefully we can come through strong and ready to take their place as a representation of the Weaver family.

that is horrible man. i don't know how you put up with that. you must have so much patients and control.

where do you live, i kinda wanna come down there and beat his and his familys ass myself.

Its great that you're moving on, rune. I don't know if I could let that go. If you don't mind answering, was your mother's name Weaver? If not, how did you come to choose it?