Someday I want to be a ricer!

[Freejack2]

Really! Someday I want to join the l33t ranks of ricers across the nation! I shall buy a Honda civic or similar japanese car; and I will NOT touch the engine. Instead I shall buy tires so big that they barely fit in the wheel well. Next I shall add tons of stickers like vtec, honda racing, etc. I shall get not one but two spoilers. One will be so big that it's weight will actually help keep the back under control in snow. The other will go on the hood. It won't be as big but it'll probably obstruct my view of the road. Most importantly neither will be the same color as the car. Next I simply must get one of those tail pipes that make that farting noise. It must be as loud and as obnoxious as possible. When all that is done I'll look for anything else I can use to "modify" my car. After all that is done I'll of course drive my car around acting like my car is the baddest machine around.
Then some guy in a 4 cylinder domestic who has actually done a few things to his engine will blow the doors off my car and I'll make all kinds of excuses why I lost, but I will never admit it's because the fact that while the outside of my car looks "sporty" the engine inside is anything but "sporty"
On that day I will truely be a ricer!

 

[helloedchen]

u sir, are an idiot

 

[toph99]

You Know You're a Ricer When... (stolen from ls1.com)
1. You find yourself using the excuse "yo, but you got twice as many cylindaz" after EVERY race.
2. You have a 4-door 'type-R'.
3. Your gumby pants make it hard to shift.
4. More than 10 of your mods involve shielding what's actually underneath.
5. You have stickers that even most asians don't get.
6. You have stickers for parts you don't have.
7. You refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'.
8. Your car has so much camber it can drive on its side.
9. When you drive by, WW2 veterans run for shelter.
10. Your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter.
11. You have 'powered by' anything anywhere on the car.
12. Birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees.
13. You sell crack for the image, not the money.
14. You have 'N/T' polished on one side of the car and don't know what bracket racing is.
15. You will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs.
16. You can't race uphills.
17. You have 'All Motor' emblazoned on your rear hatch, right next to your 14.50 dial-in
18. You brag about having nitrous and have a 14.50 dial-in.
19. The exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most pro-stock cars.
20. You've spent more money on stickers and stripes than you did on actual performance mods.
21. You go to a performance shop and go directly to the decal bin.
22. Your tach is bigger than your head.
23. You have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic.
24. You refuse to race because it's a 'show car'.
25. Your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" exhaust tip.
26. At autocross events you don't compete because you have a drag-race setup, and at drag races you brag about kicking ass at the autocross.
27. You have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager.
28. You brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
29. Two years ago, your mom used to drive you to school in what's now your 'race car'.
30. Your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.

 

[Legendary]

BAHAHAHA I just pictured in my mind all of my ricer friends doing that...it'll probably be something similar
Every damn day it's "how do you think I would look in a civic with <INSERT LINK> this and <ANOTHER LINK> this and some of <LAST LINK> this?" "You'd look like an idiot" "Nahz y0 I'd be mad 31337 in my civic I'd burn EVERYONE!" "uh huh..."

Edit: LOL to the post above me...

 

[Rallispec]

<< 2. You have a 4-door 'type-R'. >>



my 4 door 'type R'
wanna race?

I dont get why people hate ricers soooo much... So what, they look like idiots, why does if effect you so increadibly much. You know their car is slow, so do they-- if they want to pretend otherwise, let them live out there little fantasy world. If they wont shut up, challenge them to a race.

besides, we all know the real problem are SUV drivers

 

[Freejack2]

<< u sir, are an idiot >>


You sir are lost to the art of sarcasm.