Facts
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in
it for awhile... it isn't so hot.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and
think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell
who the sucker is----> it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have
paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a
woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is
they're a bunch of liars.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? In the 60's people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make
it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment,
and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but
they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and
these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of
immigration!
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in
it for awhile... it isn't so hot.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and
think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell
who the sucker is----> it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have
paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a
woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is
they're a bunch of liars.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? In the 60's people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make
it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment,
and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but
they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and
these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of
immigration!
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