Some stolen jokes, true stories i guess.


Platinum Member
Nov 18, 2004
Copied and Pasted...

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"


Platinum Member
Dec 15, 2001
my sister's husband used to take tourists out sailing off the coast of maui.
and the stories he told me about how dumb people could be were insanse.

the highlights were..
he would get people all the time asking how far above sea level they were...
they would set the sails out and 10 minutes later people would ask when they were going to start sailing....


Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2004
if those were all true i feel embarrassed for the human race...

There should be a phone line you can call to report stupid people...if a certain amount of people call they shoot them.


Golden Member
Oct 10, 2005
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Funny but I refuse to believe these are true stories.

I work at a dining hall on the campus of UCSD. The UC system is considered one of the best public college systems around. Some of us will become next generations doctors and engineers. Moving on, we were talking about water buffalos and decided to just poll customers at random to see what they knew. Direct answers- "Does that exist?" "Is that a buffalo that lives in the water, has fins, and swims around?" "Isn't that a mythical creature?"
May 31, 2001
Alaska has its own set of stupid questions asked by visitors. Among the top are, "What time do you turn on the Northern Lights?" and "When does the bus leave for the top of Mt. McKinley?"


Oct 10, 2006
lol. From the customer standpoint:

Back i High School I was a member of a team that built a rocket to go a mile high, we were flying to Huntsville to test it. However, due to shipping costs/restrictions, we had to bring the avionics section of the rocket with us. Figuring we'd get trouble, we called the airport/airline ahead of time. I believe the exact words we used were: "Hey, we're on Flight *** headed for Huntsville [Insert Explanation of Rocket Competition Here]. So, in short, we've got a cylindrical component with some serious electronics and gunpowder residue that needs to come through security. Think we'll have a problem? :D . At this point the man starts exclaiming about how we can't fool him and transporting explosive weapons on a plane is prohibited. He told us to use ground shipping. We explained (again) the harmlessness of the section (Hell, I could beat someone over the head with it and IT would probably be smashed beyond repair). He responded: "You ragheads are all alike. I can't have you arrested right now, but call me again and I'm calling the police." WTF? :confused:

The ironic thing is that 8 of us were White, 2 of us were Asian, and 1 guy was Israeli