Some people are just f$%ked... (YAGT sort of)

Jugernot

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
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Some quick background, I ended a 2 years relationship with my gf at the end of Feb and it took awhile, but I'm finally over her. During our 2 year relationship, I became pretty close with her sister and her son (Lets call her Karen and him George). I sort of adopted him as my own nephew and kind of act like a big brother. During our visits to Karen's house, my girlfriend would joke that I was now part of the family and that if I ever broke up with her I would still be welcome at her sisters.

Anyway, back to the story. Recently (2 months after breakin up) Karen and George came to town and called me up. Me and George went to a movie and went to eat and stuff. Well, it turns out that Karen never called my exgf when they came into town because she has become a very mean person since we broke up. She has broken contact with her family and bites the head of anyone else in her life. I recently went my exfg's web journal and the basics of her writing of the last few months are "Family is nothing more than blood, they are no better than anyone else. I can't rely on anyone else but myself." Basically she is just feeling sorry for herself.

Well, here is where it gets tricky. Karen just got an email saying "Wow, so I just heard that Joe and George went to a movie last week. Hope they had fun. I would have really liked to have heard about this from you directly... Ohhh F*(cking well!"

Karen emailed me and asked if I told her and I wrote back saying no. But after thinking about it, the only person I mentioned anything about it was my dad. Yep, you guessed it, he told her unwittingly. Apparently my ex came up to him asking about me and telling my father what had happened with our relationship. He was sort of shocked as he didn't even know that we weren't still together. But he ended up telling her that I am my own man and he doesn't tell me what to do, so she should just move on and get on with her life. Apparently in the beginning of the conversation, he mentioned something about the movie I saw and her mentioned something about George.

So, long story short, my ex is pissed at the world and I don't feel the least bit pity for her. She is a mean person and no one in life ever sticks around. Though, she has had quite a hard life and has reason to be jaded. She is 33 years old and has been divorced 3 times. She is bipolar as well as agoraphobic (fear of large groups of people), she lost one child to SIDS, and had another child only to give it up for adoption. She was abused as a child and left home at the age of 14 to live on her own. She was kicked out of the military for medical problems and now lives on disability and social security. She lives from pay check to paycheck and has no idea how to manage her money.

Basically, she is just f$%cked!

I just can't beleive that I made it 2 whole years in a relationship with her.... I wish I hadn't. :(
 

sniperbob

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Oct 22, 2002
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wow....I figure finding out the whole deal with bipolar, 2 kids and divorced 3 times would have you run screaming out of her life. I just hope it isn't you that attracts woman like that and your next girlfriend would be more normal.
 

AUMM

Diamond Member
Mar 13, 2001
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She is 33 years old and has been divorced 3 times. She is bipolar as well as agoraphobic (fear of large groups of people), she lost one child to SIDS, and had another child only to give it up for adoption. She was abused as a child and left home at the age of 14 to live on her own. She was kicked out of the military for medical problems and now lives on disability and social security. She lives from pay check to paycheck and has no idea how to manage her money.

JEEBUS!~ how in the world did you stay with her for 2 years????
 

Jugernot

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
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Well, I supposed that the Mr. Fixit in me that made me stay as long as I did. But never again...

As for her needing counselling, she is supposed to be doing a psychiotrist weekly, but she stopped a year ago. It's actually part of the terms of her disability...

As for me, I'm actually happy now. At least much happier than I was in our relationship. I have times when I feel lonely and would like to have someone to hang out with, but that subsides and I am happy again. :)

No worries for me.
 

sniperbob

Member
Oct 22, 2002
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Shoot Mr. Fixit...
Seriously, it's the worse idea in the world to get into a relationship with the hope changing her into a better woman. That's like buying a civic and hoping you can fix it to beat a F1, it aint going to happen, you might be able to change her for the better a little bit, but the trouble you go through is never worth it. Go find someone you're happy with, not someone you will be happy with as soon as you change a bit of this and that, you're doom in the beginning if that's your perspective.
 

Jugernot

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
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Originally posted by: sniperbob
Shoot Mr. Fixit...
Seriously, it's the worse idea in the world to get into a relationship with the hope changing her into a better woman. That's like buying a civic and hoping you can fix it to beat a F1, it aint going to happen, you might be able to change her for the better a little bit, but the trouble you go through is never worth it. Go find someone you're happy with, not someone you will be happy with as soon as you change a bit of this and that, you're doom in the beginning if that's your perspective.

Dun, worry... I have seen the light. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice.
 

joohang

Lifer
Oct 22, 2000
12,340
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Originally posted by: Aquaman
Well........ at least you got to know Karen and George :D

Cheers,
Aquaman

Yup. It's always cool to know kids who adore you.

I know one who, as soon as he sees me, calls me "Hey, Vegeta!" then tries to blast me off with a kamehameha.
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
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I feel your pain...my kids mom shares many of your ex's traits...you have to be careful though, she may try to latch on to you any way she can...does she blame you for the things that are happening between her and her family right now?
 

joohang

Lifer
Oct 22, 2000
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Originally posted by: rudeguy5757
I feel your pain...my kids mom shares many of your ex's traits...you have to be careful though, she may try to latch on to you any way she can...does she blame you for the things that are happening between her and her family right now?

Stories like these scare me away from any sort of long-term commitment.

I sometimes consider adopting a few kids from different ethnic background and create my own family that way.

But I have faith that there are plenty of sane, down-to-earth women as well. :)
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
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Originally posted by: joohang
Originally posted by: rudeguy5757
I feel your pain...my kids mom shares many of your ex's traits...you have to be careful though, she may try to latch on to you any way she can...does she blame you for the things that are happening between her and her family right now?

Stories like these scare me away from any sort of long-term commitment.

I sometimes consider adopting a few kids from different ethnic background and create my own family that way.

But I have faith that there are plenty of sane, down-to-earth women as well. :)

thats one of the problems with people with mental illnesses....they tend to go from one extreme to the other...so you think you met the nicest, warmest person on earth...then one day things slowly start to change, and its all downhill from there...
yeah....I have a real hard time trusting women now
 

xirtam

Diamond Member
Aug 25, 2001
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Originally posted by: joohang
Originally posted by: rudeguy5757
I feel your pain...my kids mom shares many of your ex's traits...you have to be careful though, she may try to latch on to you any way she can...does she blame you for the things that are happening between her and her family right now?

Stories like these scare me away from any sort of long-term commitment.

I sometimes consider adopting a few kids from different ethnic background and create my own family that way.

But I have faith that there are plenty of sane, down-to-earth women as well. :)

Sane, down-to-eath women?

Mmmmmmhmm. Pass me some of that.

<inhale>

Ahhhhhhhh... thanks.
 

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
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you ex is nuts.

you should have told your dad you dumped her, but hindsight is 20/20.

So what's up with Karen? Is she less nutty? pics? :p
 

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,982
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Originally posted by: joohang
Originally posted by: Aquaman
Well........ at least you got to know Karen and George :D

Cheers,
Aquaman

Yup. It's always cool to know kids who adore you.

I know one who, as soon as he sees me, calls me "Hey, Vegeta!" then tries to blast me off with a kamehameha.
lammo!
 

Jugernot

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
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Originally posted by: rudeguy5757
I feel your pain...my kids mom shares many of your ex's traits...you have to be careful though, she may try to latch on to you any way she can...does she blame you for the things that are happening between her and her family right now?

No not really, her relationship with her family has been rocky for a long time. She is so damned mean to them sometimes, they just stay away.... last time was for like 4-5 years! It's really too bad, as she doesn't have too many friends and now spends most of her time sitting at her computer working on web stuff (she is a web designer) with contact with no one.

I do pity her in that respect, but it's all self inflicted as much as I hate to say it. She pushed people away and can't stand a relationship that doesn't have problems. She is one of those people that must have chaos in her life to feel normal.

Anyway, as far as telling my dad we broke up. I'm 22, so I don't tell my parents everything about my life. Hell, they didn't even like her...
 

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
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yea i think i would have run far far away at first sign of all that mental illness your ex has. people like that will drag you down at every opportunity they get...