Some of the rules that make my life harmonious.

NuclearNed

Raconteur
May 18, 2001
7,882
380
126
My pre-emptive admission: yes, I'm lazy.

1. At all costs, keep the kitchen tidy by throwing away your own trash. However, if your spouse leaves a trash item on the counter, and you cram your trash item inside it, then the whole thing is her trash item, and thus her responsiblity.

2. The trash can doesn't need to be emptied as long as it is humanly possible to force another piece either in the can or on top of the existing pile, so long as your trash doesn't cause trash already in the can to fall out.

subrule to # 2: If your trash causes other trash to fall out, and you can successfully balance all the trash back on the top of the stack, then you are in the clear.

3. Whoever takes the last fragment of toilet paper from a roll has the responsiblity of replacing the roll with a new one. Therefore, always make sure there is a tiny scrap of paper still attached to the cardboard.

4. Something is potentially deadly and terribly wrong with the last half inch of milk in the jug; never ever drink it.

5. Never carry money in your wallet, because if you do someone at work will want a sympathy donation for Bob's sister's husband's cousin's mother-in-law's brother who died from a multiple lobotomy.

6. No matter how rancid, putrid, disgusting, dangerous, or foul something may be, its always ok to lightly kick it with the toe of your shoe.
 
Jun 19, 2004
10,860
1
81
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
My pre-emptive admission: yes, I'm lazy.

1. At all costs, keep the kitchen tidy by throwing away your own trash. However, if your spouse leaves a trash item on the counter, and you cram your trash item inside it, then the whole thing is her trash item, and thus her responsiblity.

2. The trash can doesn't need to be emptied as long as it is humanly possible to force another piece either in the can or on top of the existing pile, so long as your trash doesn't cause trash already in the can to fall out.

3. Whoever takes the last fragment of toilet paper from a roll has the responsiblity of replacing the roll with a new one. Therefore, always make sure there is a tiny scrap of paper still attached to the cardboard.

4. Something is potentially deadly and terribly wrong with the last half inch of milk in the jug; never ever drink it.

5. Never carry money in your wallet, because if you do someone at work will want a sympathy donation for Bob's sister's husband's cousin's mother-in-law's brother who died from a multiple lobotomy.



Number three might land you in divorce court ;)
 

HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
John Handy:

it's a good idea to always carry two sacks
of something when you walk around. That way, if
anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You
can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
 
L

Lola

Always say Please and Thank You to everyone

Appericate what you have and don't long for what you do not have.
 

Wapp

Golden Member
Jun 5, 2003
1,648
0
0
Originally posted by: HN
John Handy:

it's a good idea to always carry two sacks
of something when you walk around. That way, if
anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You
can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

Jack or John?
 

j00fek

Diamond Member
Dec 19, 2005
8,099
1
0
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
My pre-emptive admission: yes, I'm lazy.

1. At all costs, keep the kitchen tidy by throwing away your own trash. However, if your spouse leaves a trash item on the counter, and you cram your trash item inside it, then the whole thing is her trash item, and thus her responsiblity.

2. The trash can doesn't need to be emptied as long as it is humanly possible to force another piece either in the can or on top of the existing pile, so long as your trash doesn't cause trash already in the can to fall out.

subrule to # 2: If your trash causes other trash to fall out, and you can successfully balance all the trash back on the top of the stack, then you are in the clear.

3. Whoever takes the last fragment of toilet paper from a roll has the responsiblity of replacing the roll with a new one. Therefore, always make sure there is a tiny scrap of paper still attached to the cardboard.

4. Something is potentially deadly and terribly wrong with the last half inch of milk in the jug; never ever drink it.

5. Never carry money in your wallet, because if you do someone at work will want a sympathy donation for Bob's sister's husband's cousin's mother-in-law's brother who died from a multiple lobotomy.


:thumbsup:
 

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
My pre-emptive admission: yes, I'm lazy.

1. At all costs, keep the kitchen tidy by throwing away your own trash. However, if your spouse leaves a trash item on the counter, and you cram your trash item inside it, then the whole thing is her trash item, and thus her responsiblity.

2. The trash can doesn't need to be emptied as long as it is humanly possible to force another piece either in the can or on top of the existing pile, so long as your trash doesn't cause trash already in the can to fall out.

subrule to # 2: If your trash causes other trash to fall out, and you can successfully balance all the trash back on the top of the stack, then you are in the clear.

3. Whoever takes the last fragment of toilet paper from a roll has the responsiblity of replacing the roll with a new one. Therefore, always make sure there is a tiny scrap of paper still attached to the cardboard.

4. Something is potentially deadly and terribly wrong with the last half inch of milk in the jug; never ever drink it.

5. Never carry money in your wallet, because if you do someone at work will want a sympathy donation for Bob's sister's husband's cousin's mother-in-law's brother who died from a multiple lobotomy.

6. No matter how rancid, putrid, disgusting, dangerous, or foul something may be, its always ok to lightly kick it with the toe of your shoe.

Sounds more like rules your wife laid out for you to follow.
 

HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
Originally posted by: Wapp
Originally posted by: HN
John Handy:

it's a good idea to always carry two sacks
of something when you walk around. That way, if
anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You
can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

Jack or John?
Mostly 'Jack'
(although it could be possible that 'Jack' was used as the nickname for 'John'; but i'm sure i'm entirely wrong :eek:)

 

NuclearNed

Raconteur
May 18, 2001
7,882
380
126
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
My pre-emptive admission: yes, I'm lazy.

1. At all costs, keep the kitchen tidy by throwing away your own trash. However, if your spouse leaves a trash item on the counter, and you cram your trash item inside it, then the whole thing is her trash item, and thus her responsiblity.

2. The trash can doesn't need to be emptied as long as it is humanly possible to force another piece either in the can or on top of the existing pile, so long as your trash doesn't cause trash already in the can to fall out.

subrule to # 2: If your trash causes other trash to fall out, and you can successfully balance all the trash back on the top of the stack, then you are in the clear.

3. Whoever takes the last fragment of toilet paper from a roll has the responsiblity of replacing the roll with a new one. Therefore, always make sure there is a tiny scrap of paper still attached to the cardboard.

4. Something is potentially deadly and terribly wrong with the last half inch of milk in the jug; never ever drink it.

5. Never carry money in your wallet, because if you do someone at work will want a sympathy donation for Bob's sister's husband's cousin's mother-in-law's brother who died from a multiple lobotomy.

6. No matter how rancid, putrid, disgusting, dangerous, or foul something may be, its always ok to lightly kick it with the toe of your shoe.

Sounds more like rules your wife laid out for you to follow.

Uh... why would my wife like these rules? They are completely for my benefit.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,584
985
126
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Always say Please and Thank You to everyone

Appericate what you have and don't long for what you do not have.

If everyone did that our economy would grind to a halt.
 

irishScott

Lifer
Oct 10, 2006
21,562
3
0
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Always say Please and Thank You to everyone

Appericate what you have and don't long for what you do not have.

If everyone did that our economy would grind to a halt.

True indeed.


Besides that, it's not bad to long for something your capable of getting. I long for a new car. After a little saving, I can get one :)
 
L

Lola

Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Always say Please and Thank You to everyone

Appericate what you have and don't long for what you do not have.

If everyone did that our economy would grind to a halt.

True indeed.


Be happy with what you have... thats all.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,584
985
126
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Always say Please and Thank You to everyone

Appericate what you have and don't long for what you do not have.

If everyone did that our economy would grind to a halt.

True indeed.


Be happy with what you have... thats all.

Good luck keeping what you have with no job. :p
 

blue1friday2

Senior member
Mar 22, 2006
387
0
0
I can do anything for myself but why would I when I can get someone else to do it for me.
Just kidding I try but it never works.
 

WildHorse

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2003
5,006
0
0
well-known old list of "Rules for Life"

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here," When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that again, looks better than "here."

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.