- Oct 9, 1999
- 17,627
- 5
- 81
A guy from Quebec and a guy from Ontario are fighting over a lantern when a genie pops out and grants them each one wish.
The Quebecer says, "I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out."
"It is done," says the genie, turning to the other guy. "And your wish?"
The guy from Ontario smiles and says, "Fill it with water."
-----
Two Canadians are sitting in a bar getting bored, so they decide to play twenty questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a subject for his friend to guess and, after a little pondering, comes up with "moose cock." He tells his friend he?s ready to play.
"OK," says the second Canadian. "Is it something good to eat?"
The first Canadian thinks for a moment, then laughs and replies, "Sure, I guess you could eat it."
The second Canadian says, "Is it a moose cock?"
-----
US Condom Factory Blows Up
President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest
condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's
favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, the Canadian people would be happy to do anything within their power
to help you," replied the Prime Minister.
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Chretien.
Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color; at least 10" long and 4"
in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up
and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you've got to make
1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to America."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white & blue in color; at least
10" long and 4" in diameter."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the Prime Minister, "and print 'MADE IN CANADA; MEDIUM SIZE'
on each one."
-------
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they
were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their
pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it
as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink
and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT
YOU BASTARD!!!"
The Quebecer says, "I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out."
"It is done," says the genie, turning to the other guy. "And your wish?"
The guy from Ontario smiles and says, "Fill it with water."
-----
Two Canadians are sitting in a bar getting bored, so they decide to play twenty questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a subject for his friend to guess and, after a little pondering, comes up with "moose cock." He tells his friend he?s ready to play.
"OK," says the second Canadian. "Is it something good to eat?"
The first Canadian thinks for a moment, then laughs and replies, "Sure, I guess you could eat it."
The second Canadian says, "Is it a moose cock?"
-----
US Condom Factory Blows Up
President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest
condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's
favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, the Canadian people would be happy to do anything within their power
to help you," replied the Prime Minister.
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Chretien.
Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color; at least 10" long and 4"
in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up
and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you've got to make
1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to America."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white & blue in color; at least
10" long and 4" in diameter."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the Prime Minister, "and print 'MADE IN CANADA; MEDIUM SIZE'
on each one."
-------
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they
were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their
pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it
as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink
and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT
YOU BASTARD!!!"
Some funnies.
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