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Some advice, ATOT?

A

archcommus

Diamond Member
I'm not much for posting these kinds of things on here, but...I suppose I will cave this once. Basically, my parents are struggling financially and it hurts to see them in the situation. Although I'm only 18 myself, I'm not concerned with myself right now. Even if they provided me with no financial assistance whatsoever, I already know I could make it through college and be just fine, even if it *would* require a ton in loans to do so. But really, it's sad to see the people who raised you struggling in such a way. I know I can't really help them, I just need a different way of thinking about it or something to make the situation seem brighter.

I will provide more details if need be.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'm not much for posting these kinds of things on here, but...I suppose I will cave this once. Basically, my parents are struggling financially and it hurts to see them in the situation. Although I'm only 18 myself, I'm not concerned with myself right now. Even if they provided me with no financial assistance whatsoever, I already know I could make it through college and be just fine, even if it *would* require a ton in loans to do so. But really, it's sad to see the people who raised you struggling in such a way. I know I can't really help them, I just need a different way of thinking about it or something to make the situation seem brighter.

I will provide more details if need be.
Click to expand...


I was in the same situation...just provide mental support for them, its really all you can do...and get a job and give them your paycheck, dont expect them to pay you back...thats what I did
 
Move out and start paying your own way. You are an albatross around your parents' necks. They could probably get by just fine without you , but you keep whining for more and more.

An alternative would be to off yourself.
 
Originally posted by: TriStar
Move out and start paying your own way. You are an albatross around your parents' necks. They could probably get by just fine without you , but you keep whining for more and more.

An alternative would be to off yourself.
Click to expand...


stfu now, you obviously never went through anything like this you insensitive moron...and do not try to say you did, just like you were "in the army"
 
Originally posted by: TriStar
Move out and start paying your own way. You are an albatross around your parents' necks. They could probably get by just fine without you , but you keep whining for more and more.

An alternative would be to off yourself.
Click to expand...
Please leave.

Originally posted by: Son of a N00b
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'm not much for posting these kinds of things on here, but...I suppose I will cave this once. Basically, my parents are struggling financially and it hurts to see them in the situation. Although I'm only 18 myself, I'm not concerned with myself right now. Even if they provided me with no financial assistance whatsoever, I already know I could make it through college and be just fine, even if it *would* require a ton in loans to do so. But really, it's sad to see the people who raised you struggling in such a way. I know I can't really help them, I just need a different way of thinking about it or something to make the situation seem brighter.

I will provide more details if need be.
Click to expand...


I was in the same situation...just provide mental support for them, its really all you can do...and get a job and give them your paycheck, dont expect them to pay you back...thats what I did
Click to expand...
I already have been helping them with my own paycheck. They're very humble and will only accept so much. I give them what I can, but I have to save a lot myself to pay my tuition bill.

EDIT: I do work full time right now in the summer.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
Originally posted by: TriStar
Move out and start paying your own way. You are an albatross around your parents' necks. They could probably get by just fine without you , but you keep whining for more and more.

An alternative would be to off yourself.
Click to expand...
Please leave.

Originally posted by: Son of a N00b
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'm not much for posting these kinds of things on here, but...I suppose I will cave this once. Basically, my parents are struggling financially and it hurts to see them in the situation. Although I'm only 18 myself, I'm not concerned with myself right now. Even if they provided me with no financial assistance whatsoever, I already know I could make it through college and be just fine, even if it *would* require a ton in loans to do so. But really, it's sad to see the people who raised you struggling in such a way. I know I can't really help them, I just need a different way of thinking about it or something to make the situation seem brighter.

I will provide more details if need be.
Click to expand...


I was in the same situation...just provide mental support for them, its really all you can do...and get a job and give them your paycheck, dont expect them to pay you back...thats what I did
Click to expand...
I already have been helping them with my own paycheck. They're very humble and will only accept so much. I give them what I can, but I have to save a lot myself to pay my tuition bill.

EDIT: I do work full time right now in the summer.
Click to expand...


than otherwise just accept it and give them moral support...help out around the house also if you can...don't worry you and your family will get through it

(it ripped my family apart though)
 
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
If you are 18 and at home you should be paying them rent, one way or the other.
Click to expand...

Im 18 at home, working full time, and not paying rent. I wouldnt even think of paying rent...
 
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
If you are 18 and at home you should be paying them rent, one way or the other.
Click to expand...
That might be a good way to get them to accept more from you.

If they hesitate you can try something like saying you need to learn to pay rent every month for when you move out.
 
Originally posted by: moomoo40moo
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
If you are 18 and at home you should be paying them rent, one way or the other.
Click to expand...

Im 18 at home, working full time, and not paying rent. I wouldnt even think of paying rent...
Click to expand...

Are you going to college?
 
Originally posted by: moomoo40moo
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
If you are 18 and at home you should be paying them rent, one way or the other.
Click to expand...

Im 18 at home, working full time, and not paying rent. I wouldnt even think of paying rent...
Click to expand...


It certainly won't help you mature. Moving out at 18 was the best thing I could have done. think paying rent would be a distant second, but better than nothing. Plus his parents won't be accepting handouts. He is paying them for what they provide.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'm not much for posting these kinds of things on here, but...I suppose I will cave this once. Basically, my parents are struggling financially and it hurts to see them in the situation. Although I'm only 18 myself, I'm not concerned with myself right now. Even if they provided me with no financial assistance whatsoever, I already know I could make it through college and be just fine, even if it *would* require a ton in loans to do so. But really, it's sad to see the people who raised you struggling in such a way. I know I can't really help them, I just need a different way of thinking about it or something to make the situation seem brighter.

I will provide more details if need be.
Click to expand...

I never thought such a short post deserved cliff notes more.
 
An honest reply. ARe they living beyond their means? Should they downsize their home or move into a less nice area? not sure if it's possbile.

What is the problem with saving money though? Hard to fix somethign that has no cause 😉
 
Offering to pay rent is a good idea, but considering they are already feel they should be contributing much more to my tuition and are upset that they cannot, I doubt they would think their son of my age paying rent is acceptable. That's sort of a moot point, anyway, though, I'm leaving for school in four weeks.

They are definitely not living beyond their means. They spend nothing on luxuries whatsoever.

The cause? My father lost his job a year and a half or so ago, and was unemployed for about eight months. He recently opened his own BBQ place, and it did well in the winter, but recently business has been very slow and it's hard to keep up with expenses.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
Offering to pay rent is a good idea, but considering they are already feel they should be contributing much more to my tuition and are upset that they cannot, I doubt they would think their son of my age paying rent is acceptable. That's sort of a moot point, anyway, though, I'm leaving for school in four weeks.

They are definitely not living beyond their means. They spend nothing on luxuries whatsoever.

The cause? My father lost his job a year and a half or so ago, and was unemployed for about eight months. He recently opened his own BBQ place, and it did well in the winter, but recently business has been very slow and it's hard to keep up with expenses.
Click to expand...

sucks to hear, but someone in his position probably should have gotten a job with a guaranteed paycheck until they were caught up...
 
Originally posted by: MikeyIs4Dcats
Originally posted by: archcommus
Offering to pay rent is a good idea, but considering they are already feel they should be contributing much more to my tuition and are upset that they cannot, I doubt they would think their son of my age paying rent is acceptable. That's sort of a moot point, anyway, though, I'm leaving for school in four weeks.

They are definitely not living beyond their means. They spend nothing on luxuries whatsoever.

The cause? My father lost his job a year and a half or so ago, and was unemployed for about eight months. He recently opened his own BBQ place, and it did well in the winter, but recently business has been very slow and it's hard to keep up with expenses.
Click to expand...

sucks to hear, but someone in his position probably should have gotten a job with a guaranteed paycheck until they were caught up...
Click to expand...
Caught up with what? All the bills and debts were fine and covered at that point.

Getting another job was eventually eliminated as an idea after so many months of searching. With his age and experience, it was just too difficult.
 
Originally posted by: jadinolf
Move out. Make it easier for your folks.
Click to expand...
A) I'm leaving in four weeks anyway.

B) That wouldn't make it any easier for them at all. I'm not costing them anything except for some minor food money and electricity to live here.

 
Sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Hard to stand back and watch someone you love struggling.

Just remember: the only thing that never changes is that everything always changes. Things will get better with time.

 
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Originally posted by: moomoo40moo
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
If you are 18 and at home you should be paying them rent, one way or the other.
Click to expand...

Im 18 at home, working full time, and not paying rent. I wouldnt even think of paying rent...
Click to expand...


It certainly won't help you mature. Moving out at 18 was the best thing I could have done. think paying rent would be a distant second, but better than nothing. Plus his parents won't be accepting handouts. He is paying them for what they provide.
Click to expand...

A responsible person will be a responsible person regardless. I would never make my future kid pay me rent at 18. I did not move out at 18, I was just starting college then and would move back in the summers. If you can cut out the rental money, cut it out. Save money, then move out and put a down payment on a house.
 
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