Modern technology has brought to us the ultimate in the uninterrupted enjoyment of music on the move - the 'closed' headphone design. This allows us to experience sounds from the portable audio device unsullied by outside distractions. While this is a considerable advantage from the music point of view, there are disadvantages. Purely aside from road safety issues, the 'closed' headphone has major social implications.
Let us for a moment assume that you are a vegan, a beer drinker or a regular imbiber of carbonated beverages. In short, those people whose abilities to 'cut the cheese', as it were, might be somewhat more frequent - and violent - than others.
If you are one of those people, you will of course be fully aware of the steps involved in releasing a 'test fart' in order to "determine the nature of the beast", as George Carlin so aptly put.
Releasing a test fart in a public area is a skilled procedure. You are required to release a minute percentage of the total fart, in a manner that is completely deniable and allows you to frown disapprovingly at the person sitting next to you.
Modern closed-design headphones remove a vital part of the feedback required in order to precisely gauge a test fart - audio feedback. Skilled test farters know that continual audio feedback and the ability to respond to rapid changes in the ambient sound level is a crucial part of implementing a fully deniable test fart, as well as the 'main body' as it were.
It may be that you are in a crowded train during the rush hour and cannot raise your arms to remove the headphone assembly. Going by feel alone - as you must do when you are wearing a 'closed' heaphone - means that the level of control over the test fart is unpredictable, frequently resulting in a very audible example which will pinpoint you as the perpetrator straight away. Moreover, you will not realise this until those around you have started grinning, frowning, retching or passing out, resulting in maximum embarrasement and possible legal action.
It is therefore recommended that if you fall into one of the categories detailed above, that you do not purchase a 'closed' headphone system.
Let us for a moment assume that you are a vegan, a beer drinker or a regular imbiber of carbonated beverages. In short, those people whose abilities to 'cut the cheese', as it were, might be somewhat more frequent - and violent - than others.
If you are one of those people, you will of course be fully aware of the steps involved in releasing a 'test fart' in order to "determine the nature of the beast", as George Carlin so aptly put.
Releasing a test fart in a public area is a skilled procedure. You are required to release a minute percentage of the total fart, in a manner that is completely deniable and allows you to frown disapprovingly at the person sitting next to you.
Modern closed-design headphones remove a vital part of the feedback required in order to precisely gauge a test fart - audio feedback. Skilled test farters know that continual audio feedback and the ability to respond to rapid changes in the ambient sound level is a crucial part of implementing a fully deniable test fart, as well as the 'main body' as it were.
It may be that you are in a crowded train during the rush hour and cannot raise your arms to remove the headphone assembly. Going by feel alone - as you must do when you are wearing a 'closed' heaphone - means that the level of control over the test fart is unpredictable, frequently resulting in a very audible example which will pinpoint you as the perpetrator straight away. Moreover, you will not realise this until those around you have started grinning, frowning, retching or passing out, resulting in maximum embarrasement and possible legal action.
It is therefore recommended that if you fall into one of the categories detailed above, that you do not purchase a 'closed' headphone system.
Facebook
Twitter