So she wants more romance...

[rival]

I've known this girl for almost a year now, and we've been dating for about 5 months. The other day she tells me that I should be more romantic. Um, any ideas? I'm drawing a blank on the subject. What woo'd your girl?

 

[ElFenix]

if you have a large tub draw her a hot bubble bath with floating candles and rose petals


<---- full of sappy stuff like that

 

[fatbaby]

elevate your hug and kiss to fucgk and hiss

 

[Novgrod]

never cave when she asks you upfront for it; she'll know you're faking it.

So put on a show like you aren't being romantic, and throw in some romantic stuff on the side--flowers always worked for me.

[jaded]Though the real question is: if she has the . . . gall . . . to tell you to be more romantic, do you want to be with her anyway? does she even want to be with you?[/jaded]

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Hmmm....

have you considered leather?

 

[AreaCode707]

Being creative is always the best you can do. Make efforts to spend time planning things to do just with her, things that are memory-makers. Key is, don't do it just because she wants you to, do it both because you want to make her happy and because you'll enjoy it too. Fun things that you can plan for just the two of you are things that can turn romantic. Flowers and stuff are good, but situations are really what's going to fill that romance requirement she has. Make dates with her, invite her to them in special ways, leave notes for her, be expressive. Make it fun for you too, I always enjoyed doing stuff like that for my boyfriend when were dating. It's no good unless you both get something out of it.
<--- daydreams about having a guy who'd want to do that type of stuff for her.

[Edit] If you want some specific ideas, check out the creative ideas section. [/Edit]

 

[Sir Fredrick]

<< never cave when she asks you upfront for it; she'll know you're faking it.

So put on a show like you aren't being romantic, and throw in some romantic stuff on the side--flowers always worked for me.

[jaded]Though the real question is: if she has the . . . gall . . . to tell you to be more romantic, do you want to be with her anyway? does she even want to be with you?[/jaded] >>



Hey, I think it's cool that she told him about it rather than just being miserable and eventually ditching him.
My ex was rather unromantic. I gave her plenty of warning that I needed a little romance too sometimes. She wasn't inspired to be romantic. I wasn't inspired to continue dating her.

The ultimate key to romance is to just be thoughtful. If you see something in the store that reminds you of her or that you just really think she'd like, get it. Surprise her with flowers occasionally. Surprise her with kisses when they're not expected (hello/goodbye kisses stop being special after a while). Surprise backrubs (or hell, even preplanned backrubs) are very nice - and some girls go nuts for foot massages too. Cook a nice dinner occasionally. Take her out to do something that SHE likes to do but you don't particularly care for. Express your feelings for her openly, even if other people are around. It's not very romantic to be embarassed about being in love.

Of course you don't want to do all this stuff all the time, she won't appreciate it after a while, it won't be special, and you'll end up broke and tired. But if you do this kind of stuff just every once in a while out of the blue, she'll appreciate it.

 

[navyrn]

I sent mine on a fine treasure hunt. I left a card at home sending her to a flower shop around the corner. There i left a rose with a card to a local shoe store she likes. That store had some nice shoes she looked at earlier in the week and a card. It sent her next door to a clothes store. There was a package with a nice evening gown (it wasnt too expensive and yes i let the ladies at the store pick it out). The last card had her meet me at a nice resteraunt for a quiet dinner. It was a $ 100.00 date. The shoes were $10, dress was $40, the rose and cards $10 and the dinner $40 or so with drinks. I brought a camera and gave it to the waitress to take pics everytime she came to the table. It was the thought and surprise that won the night. Not the price. Now those pics are priceless. It really made a nice moment. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Jfur]

maybe she just wants you to be more expressive about your feelings for her. a little bit goes a long way.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Tell her to kiss your ass. Waste of time.

 

[djheater]

I used to make containers that opened and diplayed a simple object. It would take about 5 hours to complete one. Paint the inside with a poem (often transcribed) she loved it. Romance is cheesy therefore abandon your fear of cheesiness. The idea is that you're a fool for love so if you get an idea that seems a little embarassing go ahead and do it. Also i've learned that she doesn't really care if I mean it or not as long as I say it, and often.

 

[gopunk]

am i the only one who thinks rival should just leave?

seriously, think about it. i'm not getting the impression that rival has had this burning desire to do something romantic, but doesn't for fear of rejection or something. i think rival is just the way he is, naturally. do we really want to tell him to force himself to change? you can't overcome who you are... you can act "romantic" for a little while, but it's going to get tedious and old because that's not who you are.

and how romantic can it be if you're basically doing something to give the illusion of being romantic?

i think you're better off with a girl who is happy with who you are.

 

[AreaCode707]

I agree gopunk, if she only values him for what she wants him to be, she's not worth it. But part of a relationship is the effort made to mutually please each other. Should she give up something that she would enjoy in a relationship because he doesn't feel like it? Or maybe if he wants to do something to make her happy, this is an opportunity to do it. So the next question is, is she willing to do things to make him happy too?

 

[gopunk]

I agree gopunk, if she only values him for what she wants him to be, she's not worth it. But part of a relationship is the effort made to mutually please each other. Should she give up something that she would enjoy in a relationship because he doesn't feel like it? Or maybe if he wants to do something to make her happy, this is an opportunity to do it. So the next question is, is she willing to do things to make him happy too?

well, of course you have to give and take in a relationship. but i think that concerns smaller stuff, like hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. you have to make small sacrifices eh? but i think this is a fundamental aspect of someone's personality. this is not some small thing, this is colossal. maybe it's just me, but if i had to act like somebody i wasn't, i would be *miserable*. so while you can act more romantic to appease her, you will make yourself miserable... which is not good.

basically it comes down to this. i'm willing to give up certain things, even AT if it's the right girl. but i *can't* (even if i wanted to) change a fundamental aspect of my personality, and still feel great.

edit: maybe i'm making a bigger deal than it really is, and she's just asking for a few more flowers. but i took it to mean she wanted a change in the way he behaved. sorry if i'm wrong.

 

[Sir Fredrick]

AT is a more fundamental part of who I am than romance ever could be, gopunk.

 

[spamsk8r]

Well, the problem with me and my girlfriend, is not that I'm not a romantic person, which I am, but that I have a real problem expressing my feelings in a way that seems romantic to her, so no I don't think he should leave, he should just open up his heart to her more (trust me, its harder than it sounds). Just tell her how you really feel about her, instead of just going through the motions. When you kiss her, tell her how much it means to you, or how beautiful she looks underneath a full moon, the thoughts are there, you just need to recognize when you have them and learn to vocalize your emotions.

 

[gopunk]

<< Well, the problem with me and my girlfriend, is not that I'm not a romantic person, which I am, but that I have a real problem expressing my feelings in a way that seems romantic to her, so no I don't think he should leave, he should just open up his heart to her more (trust me, its harder than it sounds). Just tell her how you really feel about her, instead of just going through the motions. When you kiss her, tell her how much it means to you, or how beautiful she looks underneath a full moon, the thoughts are there, you just need to recognize when you have them and learn to vocalize your emotions. >>




reading his post, is that really the impression you got? that he has some hopeless romantic deep down inside? i think he's like me, and naturally unromantic

 

[Geekbabe]

<< AT is a more fundamental part of who I am than romance ever could be, gopunk. >>




let's see a choice between neffing here and some real time romance ?



lol,no contest ! my little light bulb here will be turned off quick ,that's for sure

 

[gopunk]

my little light bulb

for some bizarre reason i thought this was some kind of reference to something...

 

[Geekbabe]

<< my little light bulb

for some bizarre reason i thought this was some kind of reference to something... >>



yeah look up,look to your right and note the little bulb that shows if you're logged on or not

 

[gopunk]

<<

<< my little light bulb

for some bizarre reason i thought this was some kind of reference to something... >>



yeah look up,look to your right and note the little bulb that shows if you're logged on or not >>



lol, yea i realized that. i meant a reference to some sexually related thing. i couldn't figure out what though. that's when i saw the light (bulb).

 

[Sir Fredrick]

<< lol,no contest ! my little light bulb here will be turned off quick ,that's for sure >>



Yes, but if the choice was: "be more romantic or give up AT" which would you do?

 

[Geekbabe]

<<

<< lol,no contest ! my little light bulb here will be turned off quick ,that's for sure >>



Yes, but if the choice was: "be more romantic or give up AT" which would you do? >>




This is a great place but realtime with a great dude wins,of course a great dude wouldn't expect me to give up AT totally though

 

[AreaCode707]

It's all a moot point, the only romance in my life is AT.

 

[Sir Fredrick]

<<

<<

<< lol,no contest ! my little light bulb here will be turned off quick ,that's for sure >>



Yes, but if the choice was: "be more romantic or give up AT" which would you do? >>




This is a great place but realtime with a great dude wins,of course a great dude wouldn't expect me to give up AT totally though >>



The way I worded that, if you were more romantic you'd get to keep AT. ;p



<< It's all a moot point, the only romance in my life is AT. >>



lol at least you've got some.