Update.
V: just wanted to tell you I am leaving tomorrow
h: be safe
h: for Jordan, right?
V: I say again....
V: jsut wanted ot tell you I am leaving tomorrow
V: no more
V: no less
V: well almost less I was debating on not telling you at anything at all
V: so be greatful you got the courtesy you did
V: if you watch the news even for a minute or two I'm sure you will be able to figure it out
V: you must spend too much time at your break dancing lessons....becuase lord knows that will take you far in life
h: eh, gave up on that
h: I have no rhythm whatsoever
V: maybe New Edition will do a ru-unification and ask you to do a head or back spin in one of there videos
V: well at least you can admit that
V: anyway
V: I'm sure it will someday be looked at in higher ragard than say an Army Officer or District Manager at a major Publications company
V: yes I must say dancing for a living is truly noble
h: *shrugs* to each his own... you're too concerned with status.... anyway
V: sure takes lots of guts, and intellegence
V: oh please
V: I was thinkign about this the other day
V: you were always the one saying you gotta have a plan wa wa wa and all this stuff
V: who ran away from home with NO plan whatsoever?
V: with nothing but a bindle full of empty promises?
V: I am pretty sure that was you
h: not this again
V: but as I have stated 3 times now
V: I jsut wanted to tell you I am leaving tomorrow
h: be safe, and thank you for defending our country
V: whatever
V: and oh by the way
V: I'm not sure what the fvck happend in this country
V: but it is NOT a crime to want to have nice things
V: and it is not shallow to want to better yourslef and afford yourself oppertunities
V: you of all people should know that
V: look at how you grew up
V: you had every single advantage
V: and that isn't your fault
V: just like it isn't mine
V: that my parents were abl to afford nicer things
V: but for some reason everyone wants to blame me for growing up a little better off than most
V: and whats wose is they want to say I am wrong for persuing that lifeastyle myself?
V: how can that be?
h: nobody's blaming you for anything
V: anwyay
h: how long will you be gone?
V: I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell everyone who asks me about this great "plan" I am supposed to have
V: I have no idea what I will be doing in 3 years...all I know is I am goign to be rich doing it
V: and there is nothing wrong with that
V: I have EARNED it
V: I have had nothing handed to me at all
V: I made all the right moves
V: I excelled in high school
V: I went to anbd graduated from one of the top ten schools in this country
V: I have been paying my dues as a military offier
h: you will deserve everything you earn
h: I'd never contest that
V: and damnit I feel as though I am not entitled or goign to have anythign served ot me on a silver platter..but if I want it, I can get it and I will because I deserve it if I strive and conintue to achieve to reach my goals
V: so everyone can just kiss my lilly white ass
V: so anyway you asked how Long I will be gone as if you care
V: you probably hope I never come back
V: I kinda hope that too
V: but to answer that question I don't know
h: what regiment are you in again?
V: I would say no longer than 12 months
V: no shorter than 6
h: I do hope you come back
V: don't concern yourself with that
V: if you cared enough you would knwo that there is no such thing as regiments in artillery units
V: my battalion is 1-7
V: in the 108th Air Defense Brigade
h: I really hope you come back safely
h: I have a feeling you will
V: yeah me too
V: but at least I'll be making tax free cash over there
V: plus hardship duty pay another 150 a month plus hazard duty pay another 150 a month
: my base pay right now since my promotion is about 3,000 a month
V: not too mention if I would have been on the stick and got a contract marriage I could have been pocketing another 150 a month on family seperation pay
V: but I am not willing to do that
V: its not worth it as it has been my experience sometimes women get a wild hair up their @ss and try to just fvck you anyway they can
V: and as a military spouse you pretty much can bleed a man dry if you go through the proper channles
h: what's a contract marriage?
V: so insted of coming back popping in my ATM card to see about 15-20 grand in my checking account when I get back
V: it could be cleaned out and some b!tch could be having herself a helluva time somewhere with all my stuff
V: grabbing a good friend you trust
V: going to the court house
V: get married
V: and then the army gives you more money for your housing
V: more money for your food
V: and if you are deploying
V: they give you money for being seperated from your family
V: but that 150 a month jsut isn't worth the risk
V: since I can't reallllllly trust women
h: *sigh*
h: what are your feelings about going over there?
V: good
V: I figure it is a good way to come back and have alot of money
V: plus I might get to kill someone or be killed myself
V: its iwn win
h: would you shoot at a woman?
V: goodness knows I don't have anything holding me back in this fvcking town
V: I would shoot at anyone who is shooting at me
V: and it could happen
V: considering I will be right in the center of the capital city guarding the palace of said country
V: surrounded by a population of about 3 million people
V: 80% of which are palestinian
V: and hate americans
V: and would love nothign more than to grease an officer
h: are you a LT now?
V: so if one of those SCUDs god forbid would get through and hit the city of Ahman
V: we could a whole lot of mad mutherfvckers breaching the concertina wire to kill any and all US people they see
V: yes I was before too
V: if you will recall our little lesson on the military ranik structure
V: you would remember that it goes from second Lt to First Lt
V: I was promoted in December
V: next June I will be promoted to Captain
V: and then I will be getting out of the military a short year and half after that
V: should be pretty sweet
h: not too much longer... then you can start your $$$ job w/Jamie
V: yep
V: all thats missing is a weiner dog and woman who meets my every requirement
V: I have it narrowed down to three right now
V: they are allllll long shots
h: I'm happy for you... I really am... and I'm proud you've made it this far... I hope one of those three will come through for you
V: and two of them are kinda trailing the third one right now
V: eh
V: I could really care less
V: no women will really do me much good
V: but I have learned how to take a little form here and a little from there
V: and be very non commital
V: you know
V: the way you alwasys thoguht I was
V: I figured
V: why can't I be that way now?
h: why not, indeed... if that's what does it for you now, go for it
V: and I have to say though
V: that whole empty feelign of not loving someone and have them love you back does come into play
V: but
V: the pros far outweigh the cons for me in this town
V: since I will not find a wife here
V: I might as well have lots of girls who just treat me good, and buy me things and stuff
V: I'm kinda turning into you
V: I figured how to get sh!t just by being my cute self
V: batting my eye lashes
h: whatever you say, Kyle... so now you're a male gold digger?
V: you of all people should know how easy it is to get things with a wink and smile when you are extrememly good loking
V: And
V: I know I never thought I was very good looking
V: but since so many good looking women yourself included tell me I am...I must be
V: and here is how I figured out why I don't think so
V: I see me every single day in the mirror
V: I am used to my face
V: I am used to my body
V: I am very familiar with seeing my eyes all bloodshot or my face unshaven or my hair all messed up
V: I just look in the mirror and say...well there is boring ugly old kyle
V: see that same fvcking face every single day
V: but when someone is seeing you only every couple of days or better yet for the first time
V: they say
V: damn that guy is soooo fvcking beautiful
V: I want to buy him a shirt or a pair of pnats
V: and I play along
V: let them hold my hand and then they want more
V: oh kyle lets go to the movies or lets go out to eat
V: all I have to say darling I would love to but I am just a lolwly civil servant and gov employee I have no money :-(
V: and put my big pouty lips out
V: and they will say oh poor baby, its ok I'll treat you
V: and round and round we
V: go
V: but this old hat for you
V: I wish I would have picked up on this sooner
V: I just didn't have the confidence but after a few girls fell right in line, I gained a lot
V: you know what I mean?
V: I still have not found that real sugar momma to pay my rent yet though
V: that will be like hitting the grand slam
V: but anyway
V: I'm not telling you anything
V: you don't already know
h: *sigh*
V: again it is a win win situation
V: I get to talk sh!t to you
V: and you can now tell everyone how much of a pig I have become
V: and how much you hate me
V: is that you calling me?
h: no
V: yeah I know it was my commander
V: he needs confirmation
V: on wehter or not our stuff at the DAGGC is grounded for sure
h: DAGGC?
V: so I had to call SFC Chatman and he said yes
V: the airport
V: for you non military types
V: I'm not sure what those letters stand for
h: oh
V: but it is where our equipment is right now and where it and us will be loaded onto the planes tomorrow
V: now don't be telling anyone about all this
V: our mission is very sensitive information
V: this is the first time US troops will occupy the piece of sand we are going to
h: why is it sensitive information?
V: the King of this country was on CNN
V: saying he specifically wanted PATRIOT to guard his palaces
V: it just is
V: Chuck and Reed are leaving too
V: I can't tellyou but the news will paint a very very very specific picture
V: because the media likes to get people killed
V: and leak any and all information they get like a siv
V: civ
h: undoubtedly
V: but anyway
V: I might be out your way when I get back
V: probably for only a day or two though
V: guess you don't wanna know why
h: Cali?
h: why?
V: I am trying to get on Jay Leno
h: why?
V: I figured he is a big time patriotic guy, and he loves the military and the USA
V: and what better guest could he have when this war is completed than a young Army officer who made history by being in the first BN ever to set foot on the soil of this country he went to
V: fresh out of the combat zone
V: a West Point grad no less
V: and........guess what ladies.....heeeeee's sinlge and very attrative 🙂
h: BN?
V: battalion
V: I figure I'm a lock
V: if not
V: I'll get another weiner dog and take him on there when they have a cute dog contest or something
V: I have been in contact with there booking department for about a week
V: then when I do go on after the dog thing they can say we first met Kyle on blah blah with his weiner dog Hateivy, and we got to talking to him and he was so interesting and we found out he was actually serving our country during the second gulf war and blah blah lets bring him out...and ladies...heeeeeeee;s single
h: you're very stuck on this "single" thing
V: well what can I say
V: like I have mentioned before
V: Everyone I meet doesn't believe me I'm single
V: they all say you have to be married or you have a girlfriend or you are gay
V: there is no way you aren't taken
h: swinging bachelor
V: there HAS to be somethign wrong with you Kyle
h: if that's how you want to play it, enjoy it
V: and I say flat out...yeah I'm going to take all your money and make you buy me sh!t and pay for stuff
V: they laugh it off
V: they don't have any idea I'm serious
h: I'm sure they don't
V: but then in about four months
V: they get wise
V: then when they try and get all self ritcheous I jsut say hey
V: I explined to you from day one that I did not want to be your boyfriend
V: you could have been out doing the same things I was
V: with anyone you wanted
V: you were in way obligated to sit at home while I had dinner with someone else
V: you made those choices
V: plus
V: I got 4 or 5 just liek you so if you wanna walk out theres the door
V: don'tlet the doorknob hit you in the @ss
V: and you know what these dumb b!tches do
V: they stay mad for about 2 weeks
V: then I'll come home to phone message about how much they miss me and wa wa wa
V: its just tooo fvcking easy
V: and to think I could have been doing this all along!
V: you know what easiest target is?
V: you must have stopped listening
V: I am givng you valuable insight to the male psychy of someone who has totally lost touch with any all conceince or feelings, or emotions he ever had
V: remember how you used to say I was too sensitive
V: I am no longer that
V: I have taken what you did to me, coupled it with charm good looks, and amaxing acting ability, learned a few things from watchign others as I always do
V: and have transformed myself from the perfect guy you can't wait to take home to momma
V: to the guy momma warned you about
V: oh sure I seem at first like the perfect man....gotta be gay or taken.....I'll tell you everything you want to hear
V: so you can say I really identify with you so much
V: but in the end...the house always wins, and the turth will set you free
V: oh yeah I really have begun calling myself the truth liek I told you I would
V: and also I call myself the house from time to time
V: Its cute though I love dropping my tagline on girls....
V: in the end the house always wins, and the truth will set you free.....bu-bye
V: the translation to that when I am telling my friends about it at the bar the next night is
V: in the end, the House always takes your money, and the Truth will send your ass packing
V: I can see you are thouroughly disgusted
V: but understand you created all this
V: and I will say
V: I thank you
V: I have only ever been happier at one point in my life
V: so warn your friends
h: *sigh*
V: hey
V: I'm not telling you anything
V: YOu don't already know
V: you se
V: I used to hate such behavior
V: I am whats wrong with american values
V: but
V: if you can't beat em
V: Join em
V: right?
V: what is wrong with me manipulating people who are just going to try and manipulate me
V: I jsut beat them to the punch
h: if you're happy and nobody's hurt
h: more power to you
V: oh I am
V: since I can't and wont punich you
V: I will systematically punish your entire gender if I can
V: because thats the american way (salutes)
V: just like in the simpsons that song Sherry Bobbins sang them
V: I could make you even sicker if you want
V: but I'll stop there
V: becuase it does get worse
V: maybe it is a power thing
V: I get osme girls who are like....Kyle you are such a player but for some reason I just can't say no to you
V: or I can't just tell you to fvck off
V: I know you are playing me but you are just so perfect 99% opfthe time
V: those are the most satisfying
V: I look at it this way
V: most girls
V: especially the very attractive ones
V: probably played a guy or two in their lives
V: went out with him becuase he had a nice car or whatever
V: but most guys don't have the looks and ability to play these b!tches back
V: so they never get theirs
V: I am taking up for all my ugly rich brothers
V: who got played but don't have the means to get back at these women
V: I score one for all the little guys out there
V: I figure deep down all men on the same team
V: and we are against the women
V: and its a zero sum game
V: we got to come out on top
V: so these men ellect me
V: the pretty boy, with the good body and the new Explorer
V: alwasy shined up
V: always pimpin
V: the guy who knows all the owners, hosts, hostesses, managers, and bartenders in town
V: you're not even paying attention to me
h: yes I am
V: this is a rere glimps
h: you're telling a story
h: I'm listening
V: but you are not saying anything
V: you are being very un you
V: you always interject with counter popint or an oipinion or something
V: you must be hanging out with those dumb ass breakdancers of yours too much
V: I think you yourself are getting a little dense
V: but we always said ignorance is bliss
V: unfortunately its usually also pocerty
V: poverty
V: anyway
V: back to me
V: because today I am on the north end of my bi-polar mood swing
V: and feeling as though nothign can stop me
V: but aside form the girls who know they are being played
V: my favorite ahs got to be married women
V: becuase they can't bring you down becuase then their dumb ass husband will know they are tramps
V: can't have that
V: so its all booty calls and dollar bills
V: am I a whore?
V: maybe
V: I consider myself to be a giggilo or maybe more appropriately titled an escort
V: but what I can't figure out is why the husbands would get mad at me
V: or boyfriends
V: what have you
V: my repsonse to them
V: look
V: don't be mad at me
V: you should be mad at your wife/girlfriend obviously she is a slut and an adulterous
V: or maybe you should be mad at yourself
V: apparently you were lacking in some way
V: I jsut picked up your slack and probalby was saving your marriage/relationship untilk you found out about it
V: now
V: if you are still mad at me and think this is my fault
V: I live at 7900 Viscount Blvd. #602. I will gladly give you allllll you want
V: but I'm going to bed in about a half hour so if you are gonna come let me know now so I know to stay up. i have to get up very early tomorrow so the quicker we can do this the better for me
V: you know how many guys have shown up?
V: well do you?
V: guess not
V: well anyway
V: one guy
V: one stupid boyfreind showed up
V: he was a little mexican guy about 5 feet 5
V: I answered the door with my shirt off
V: puffed the chest out a bit
V: had that night stick I bought that time in my hand and was like.....hi I'm kyle are Raul?
V: and he was like...yeah but like I don't wanna fight or nothing
V: I jsut wanna talk
V: and I was like you just don't wanna get your ass kicked
V: I kinda laughed and said..look Raul, you came over here looking for trouble so you are either gonna get it or go home. becuase I wasn't kidding when I said I needed to work early. we could have tlaked on the phone...you fvcked that up so no more talking
V: I'll give you time to walk away and I'll shut the door......and forget this whole thing evr happened...or we need to go down to the parking lot and do this
V: he chose option 1
V: smart guy
V: the funniest thing was
V: his girl called me two days later to come over and take care of her on my lunch hour
V: Raul bought me a Kenneth Cole Watch for Christmas by the way
V: only he doesn't know he bought it for me I don't think unless Nia told him
V: sooooo
V: what do you think?
V: are your insides churning yet
V: can you beleive you ever engaged to someone so ugly like me?
V: that would do these kinds of things, and for what?
V: personal gain and satisfaction of being able to
V: Case Study Number 2 can you handle it?
V: this one might hit close to home with you
V: I'll put that disclaimer up right now
V: so you can stop me at any time
V: you must have me on ignore or something
V: I refuse to go any further unless I get some sort of feedback
V: the more negative the better
h: hmm
[conversation continuing]
*sigh*
Peace,
Dezign
