So last month I go home to find my dad..

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Falloutboy

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2003
5,916
0
76
umm bring a can of RAID with you and nuke the damn ants next you go they won't be comeing aroun no longer
 
Y

Yossarian

Lifer
Dec 26, 2000
18,010
1
81
I've done the vacuum thing before to get rid of ants. Last summer the little guys thought that my kitchen sink would be a cool place to hang out. There were billions of them. So I busted out the vacuum and played "black hole", inching the end closer and closer to the ants until they were eclipsed by the vacuum event horizon.
 
KK

KK

Lifer
Jan 2, 2001
15,903
4
81
Some people find golden showers erotic. Did you get a woodie? :D

KK
 
S

SirPsycho

Senior member
Jul 12, 2001
245
0
0
We used to have crazy lemming ants where I used to live. Twice a year, they would decide it was a great time to invade the freezer. Of course, being ants and thus having very tiny little brains, they don't quite get that freezing equals death. So twice a year, I had to get out the vacuum cleaner and suck huge piles of little frozen ant-cicles out of the bottom of the freezer.

I still have no idea why they did that.
 
P

Pakky

Member
Sep 3, 2004
82
0
0
I vacuum up ants. It's the fastest/cleanest/easiest way to get rid of them. At first my wife thought I was crazy but now she vacuums them up too. I've never tried it in my underwear, though.

-Pak
 
pmoa

pmoa

Platinum Member
Dec 24, 2001
2,623
3
81
so my roommate's dad was caught cheating here's the story....

About 8 years ago, he and his wife were going to to counseling cause he was having an affair with this weird woman. So they thought it was settled, but then come to find out, they have been seeing each other for the past 8 years! But here is the rub, he was partnered in this law firm. There was this secretary working there and he was getting a frisky decided to send flowers to her, that were from a secret admirer. But they were from him and he would come home and make fun of her cause "some guy" was sending flowers to her! Also note that he is super catholic! what a hypocrit. To make a long story short. the secretary got jealous that he was seeing this affair woman from 8 years ago and decided to go to his wife's school where she works and tells her!!!!

wow....i gotta have a beer after typing that :beer:
 
kranky

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
The best part of this thread is the topic summary that says to include your weird dad stories here. How can anyone top the OP? Can't be done! :) The best that any other story can hope for is a distant second.
 
preslove

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
64
91
I actually like the op's first story better. The image of a father merrily vacuuming up ants in his underwear at night is brilliant! The way he tells it, it sounds like a fetish :)
 
EvilYoda

EvilYoda

Lifer
Apr 1, 2001
21,198
9
81
dude, that's not "weird", that's really fvcked up. My dad's great, but normal...quirky at times, but nothing remotely close to what your's does.
 
Tremulant

Tremulant

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
4,890
1
0
Originally posted by: bradruth
Your dad is a weird bastard.
Click to expand...

--

He gave you a golden shower, rofl. That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Have a :beer: but don't give one to your dad, he may pwn you again.
 
O

onebeeer2many

Member
Aug 10, 2004
90
0
0
Originally posted by: clamum
Your dad pissed on you? That's... interesting.
Click to expand...

ummmmm.......intresting is ......wtf i am at a loss for words you were pissed on at the age of 23 by your dad. while u were in the shower.....

I need a beer after alll of that.:beer:
 
FoBoT

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,084
15
81
fobot.com
when i was in boot camp, one guy pissed on another guys bunk, but he wasn't in it at the time and the guy was drunk, so
 
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