So...just how does one go about getting dates?

[Fox5]

Alright, I'm a sophomore in college, and to put it simply, "I gots no game".

High school I was no stud, but I didn't have a problem finding a date every once in a while. Now though, in college, I don't even have classes together with girls. I'm a dual major in physics and comp sci (And got to a fairly small school), and girls just don't exist in what I normally call my life.

I go to parties and stuff, but they're not exactly my scene. Even when I do find a girl who'll stick around and talk, they seemed to get scared away once they hear what my majors are (though I normally only mention one). I've thought about lying about my major, but considering that no matter what I pick I'd probably actually talk about subjects relating to it, I doubt it'd work. For instance, business is basically a big party major at my school, but if I were to pretend to be a business major, I doubt anyone actually would want to hear about my opinions are actually business matters or laws relating to them. It would at least avoid the name shock, I suppose.

I used to be ok just by keeping an irreverent sense of humor and always having something to say, but I'm just so overloaded with work now that I don't really care to try, I just want to relax and chill.

Still though, it'd be nice to at least feel like I have a chance, but at parties I generally don't even get a word out (if a girl does stop to talk to me, I'm just so out of the game I have no idea how to just chat with a complete stranger), and I don't really run into girls anywhere else. I've started going to the gym daily, so I guess that's a chance there, but I can't help but think trying to pick up girls at the gym might be considered a little creepy.

I guess I can't complain that much, I had a girlfriend about a month ago (we dated for 2 months), but I just didn't care for the relationship. She was also very much a "Stay in with me" girl, and really the only girl I saw for most of last semester, so I got really used to having no expectations to meet. Still, a life without women is depressing, even if it's just at the conversation level, since, after all, it's nice to be reminded there's more to life than databases and subatomic particles.

 

[IronWing]

Go to church. You don't have to believe no nothing, just go.

 

[puffff]

change majors? or take classes that arent related to your major?

 

[kamikaze27]

What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

 

[bignateyk]

Originally posted by: ironwing
Go to church. You don't have to believe no nothing, just go.

either that, or join a youth group. If you're not a big partier, there are probably lots of chicks there who are up your alley. I never really got involved with them, but my sister and her husband were, so I went to an event here and there.

 

[IronWing]

Originally posted by: kamikaze27
What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

Kline jars.




I've seen it done.

 

[Jeff7]

You're asking the wrong people. Try a Buddhist monestary instead.

Originally posted by: kamikaze27
What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

If you're lucky, you find one who has similar interests, and has a sick, sick mind - they appreciate dirty jokes. But only if you've known them for a little while. I do have a friend here, whose "About Me" thing on Facebook just said, "I'm pretty twisted." From the times we have chatted and worked together, I think she lives up to it.
But she already has a boyfriend, and they're quite close, so I'm not really in that running.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: kamikaze27
What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

sounds like he talks about stuff in his major. nothing turns off a woman quicker than talking geek, nerd, dork, etc. unless she's one too.

 

[pyonir]

being on ATOT is a good start to finding some.

 

[thehstrybean]

I'd like to see what happens with this thread...same thing with me. I can be an OK conversationalist, but I just can't start up a conversation with someone I don't know...

 

[IEC]

YAGT... wonderful. I'm a sophomore in college as well, same boat - but I've got a few prospects

 

[Fox5]

Originally posted by: kamikaze27
What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

Generally, it seems to be a bit about school and the surrounding party, then dies at some point, usually because I failed to respond to something (or if I did, I just left it at a "yeah" or something and then stopped talking).

Though this past week I was talking to a girl in engineering (didn't know her beyond having seen her in classes), and talking about her design project with her (I used to be an engineering major, and even still the concepts covered by the engineering majors certainly aren't out of my realm of knowledge) for quite a while. It seemed to be going well (in terms of keeping an enjoyable conversation going), until two other girls kind of just stepped between us and started talking to me.

I started talking to them, the other girl walked away, and got up to the point where they asked "So, what's your major?" Knowing from past experience that engineering, physics, or computer science are all bad majors, I said "Undecided." Follow up question, "Oh, what do you want to get involved with?" Thinking quickly, I responded, "Oh, I dunno, I'm not really sure, probably something science-y." One girl said "Oh really, I'm in psychology!" And then I kind of got caught up thinking "Crap, why did I say sciencey? Crap, what would have been a better major? Health and wellness? No, I don't know crap about exercise... maybe business!" and they walked away during my lack of smoothness as I stood there trying to think of a better lie to come up with next time.

either that, or join a youth group. If you're not a big partier, there are probably lots of chicks there who are up your alley. I never really got involved with them, but my sister and her husband were, so I went to an event here and there.

Lack of time really to be committed to something, though I suppose it might not be a bad start if I can fit it in. I used to be deeply religious (not at all now), so I'm not too far removed from that general persona, and I've been both a counselor and tutor (non professionally of course) so the conversations that come up in those groups are likely to be an easier fit for me. Still, I'd prefer something more casual than committing myself to a service organization just to try and pick up chicks.

 

[MetalMat]

Its all about numbers, the more you get the better you will come out.

lol, getting into sales has changed me

 

[Injury]

Have you tried just asking a girl out?

Just go to a bar and don't leave until they close or you have a number.

I'm not going to say "lower your standards", but I will say that finding the hottest girl there and only trying for her probably won't work in your favor.

Take a risk and you might find someone you truly do love, rather than someone you'd really just like to bang.

 

[bignateyk]

Originally posted by: Fox5

Originally posted by: kamikaze27
What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

Generally, it seems to be a bit about school and the surrounding party, then dies at some point, usually because I failed to respond to something (or if I did, I just left it at a "yeah" or something and then stopped talking).

Though this past week I was talking to a girl in engineering (didn't know her beyond having seen her in classes), and talking about her design project with her (I used to be an engineering major, and even still the concepts covered by the engineering majors certainly aren't out of my realm of knowledge) for quite a while. It seemed to be going well (in terms of keeping an enjoyable conversation going), until two other girls kind of just stepped between us and started talking to me.

I started talking to them, the other girl walked away, and got up to the point where they asked "So, what's your major?" Knowing from past experience that engineering, physics, or computer science are all bad majors, I said "Undecided." Follow up question, "Oh, what do you want to get involved with?" Thinking quickly, I responded, "Oh, I dunno, I'm not really sure, probably something science-y." One girl said "Oh really, I'm in psychology!" And then I kind of got caught up thinking "Crap, why did I say sciencey? Crap, what would have been a better major? Health and wellness? No, I don't know crap about exercise... maybe business!" and they walked away during my lack of smoothness as I stood there trying to think of a better lie to come up with next time.

either that, or join a youth group. If you're not a big partier, there are probably lots of chicks there who are up your alley. I never really got involved with them, but my sister and her husband were, so I went to an event here and there.

Lack of time really to be committed to something, though I suppose it might not be a bad start if I can fit it in. I used to be deeply religious (not at all now), so I'm not too far removed from that general persona, and I've been both a counselor and tutor (non professionally of course) so the conversations that come up in those groups are likely to be an easier fit for me. Still, I'd prefer something more casual than committing myself to a service organization just to try and pick up chicks.

eh.. you dont really have to commit to most of them.. at least the one I went to here and there. I would show up 2 or 3 times a year and be welcomed each time. I also only went to the social functions of the youth group. None of the real stuff...

 

[Fox5]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: kamikaze27
What do you talk to these girls about when you DO chat?

sounds like he talks about stuff in his major. nothing turns off a woman quicker than talking geek, nerd, dork, etc. unless she's one too.

Actually, I don't. Despite having two majors, I'm hardly studious. I definetely don't feel comfortable talking physics, and I generally won't talk comp sci in person just because I know no one will have a clue of what I'm saying. I really lack an ice breaker topic right now, though in the past I've used my interest/participation in track, random nonsensical jokes, and just making fun (jokingly) of something about someone. Don't have the first anymore, too nervous for the 2nd, and too bitter to pull off the 3rd without sounding serious. Or so I think, mostly it's my inability to talk about something that's the killer, once I get that down, I'll see about changing my convo topics.

That said, I was hoping more for alternative places/ways to meet girls than learning how to party better. At the very least, I wish I knew how to approach a situation with a girl.

 

[Fox5]

Originally posted by: Injury
Have you tried just asking a girl out?

Just go to a bar and don't leave until they close or you have a number.

I'm not going to say "lower your standards", but I will say that finding the hottest girl there and only trying for her probably won't work in your favor.

Take a risk and you might find someone you truly do love, rather than someone you'd really just like to bang.

Well, not 21 yet...
And I rarely get names, let alone numbers. I've never asked for either though.

 

[Special K]

You don't have to lead the conversation into technical topics, but I don't think lying about your major is going to help. What if you really click with one of these girls and end up spending a lot of time with her? It's not like you can keep pretending to be in another major forever.

 

[Fox5]

Originally posted by: Special K
You don't have to lead the conversation into technical topics, but I don't think lying about your major is going to help. What if you really click with one of these girls and end up spending a lot of time with her? It's not like you can keep pretending to be in another major forever.

Yeah, it's really only something that's come up as an idea because of quite a number of girls that pretty much walk away at the mention of my major. I generally avoid anything relating to my majors as a topic, but girls always seem to ask. Though I suppose I could come up with something clever to say, if a girl's actually interested, I doubt a "Well, I could tell you, but don't we get enough of school during the week? Let's keep this talk fun." would be a complete turn off.
Unfortunately, outside of parties I don't meet girls, and at a party I'm just not in the mindset to be thinking of things to say. I find it a bit hard to just talk about my life, when most of my life is boring beyond being something of a prankster among my friends, but I'd be a bit wary of acting that way around someone I don't know, especially in a crowded setting.

 

[her209]

"What do you think about blackholes?"

 

[erub]

I think your major(s) are the least of your problems. Girls usually want someone who is smart (I'll even go as far to say that the sterotype is that they want someone smarter than they are, or at bare minimum at their level, both in intelligence and education level) and you sound like you are. I was an electrical engineering major in undergrad, and now i'm doing grad school in EE -- the girls that I've been dating know that means I'll be making some decent money soon, and trust me they don't mind that either =) Oh yeah, and I didn't (and still don't) have more than 10% girls in my classes either..taking class outside my major and being involved in other campus activities is where I meet most of them

OTOH, you're topic selection is dismal. Girls (well most people really) love to talk about themselves, find out what their major is, ask them questions about it, what they like, what sort of classes are, what their future career plans are, etc. Do you go to a big school where sports are on everybody's mind? I've found that most girls are more into sports than guys think they are, or are least educated in what's going on with their university

 

[Injury]

Originally posted by: Fox5

Originally posted by: Injury
Have you tried just asking a girl out?

Just go to a bar and don't leave until they close or you have a number.

I'm not going to say "lower your standards", but I will say that finding the hottest girl there and only trying for her probably won't work in your favor.

Take a risk and you might find someone you truly do love, rather than someone you'd really just like to bang.

Well, not 21 yet...
And I rarely get names, let alone numbers. I've never asked for either though.

I think we found your problem. Why don't you introduce yourself to girls from now on. As formal as you want. Hold out your hand. That's all it takes. Make some chit chat from there on.

Hi, my name is Fox5.
(she will introduce herself.)
Who ya here with?
-> If she says a guy, there is a 95% chance it's her boyfriend. Make a little more small talk and then move along.)
-> If she says nobody or a couple of friends or something, assume she's single and keep mingling.

General ideas:
-Don't blow your load trying to impress her right off. If she likes you, she likes you. If don't get that impression, then just move on.
-Be interested in what they have to say. Don't just be intrested in trying to get them. Ask questions when they tell you stories to let them know you are paying attention and not just 'in one ear...'
-Make girls feel good about themselves. Don't be a kiss-ass, but if a girl tells you a story, use lines like "Wow, that's pretty sweet." or "Geez, I don't think I could handle that." Picking when to say things like that is the hard part. You don't want to sound like a helpless fool.
-Don't talk about your mom. I love my mom as much as a kid can love his mom... but there is little about my mom that could attract a girl to me.
-Don't bitch about things.
-Smile. Wear a smile even if it's the worst day you've had in months. Even just the slightest of upturned cheeks will do it. Nobody is going to flock to the guy who looks pissed off and depressing.

But the most important thing you need to know is this:
You aren't going to get any girls unless you ask them out. A girl knows within a few minutes of meeting you whether she would date you or not, so if you can't bring yourself to ask for her number after 20-30 minutes of talking to her, you're way behind. Don't wait for a girl to ask you. If you can't ger her number or if she rejects you, then you are no worse off than you were before you walked in the door. So what's your excuse for not trying, huh?

 

[Sukhoi]

Don't worry, it gets way worse once you get out of college.

Don't lie about your major, but immediately steer the conversation away from it.

 

[OVerLoRDI]

This is excellent advice. You will find girls at church that are perfect for you. Especially if you are religious dating someone who has similar religious beliefs makes a huge difference.

 

[Rogodin2]

You ask a women to go kayaking with you.

Rogo