So is anyone else NOT close with their sibling(s)?

[JulesMaximus]

I'm very close with my sister and brother...even though they live 2500 miles away from me...and about 1000 miles from each other.

I wish I could see them more often actually.

 

[SAWYER]

Your mother in a grown ass woman and she allows it go on, so no it's not your business really. You are just being a nosy busy-body

 

[SAWYER]

Your mother in a grown ass woman and she allows it go on, so no it's not your business really. You are just being a nosy busy-body. And if your mom is incompetent and not able to make day to day life decisions then you should have her in some sort of care of living with you, not a lazy bum of a brother.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: Sawyer
Your mother in a grown ass woman and she allows it go on, so no it's not your business really. You are just being a nosy busy-body. And if your mom is incompetent and not able to make day to day life decisions then you should have her in some sort of care of living with you, not a lazy bum of a brother.

Believe me I wish she would just kick him out, but she can't / won't, for some people it's not as easy as you so conveniently phrase it. Incompetent? grow up.

 

[darkxshade]

Not in as much of a situation as you are with your brother but I barely speak to my brother as well(15 times/year at most). It's mostly due to the age gap between us(15 years), plus the fact that he's quite busy with work and has a family to take care of. Though the few times we do speak we're on very good terms and we can call each other whenever for a chat but we have nothing in common to speak about other than our jobs at this point which is why we dont' communicate often.

 

[SAWYER]

Well either she is incompetent or not, if so then it would be your duty to step in. If she is a sane, normal person and allows it to go on then so be it.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: Sawyer
Well either she is incompetent or not, if so then it would be your duty to step in. If she is a sane, normal person and allows it to go on then so be it.

Yes, if only it was that cut and dry, like I said above, some parents have a very difficult time with their children, and my mother (single parent) who works 90% of her time, has a very difficult time with my brother, hence why it's upsetting for me and is my business as it's negatively effecting her through his ignorance.

 

[Platypus]

I don't get along well at all with my sister and never have. We talk, but it's more like a business transaction when we do. She only calls me when she needs/wants something from me(Interesting, I have a lot of people like that in my life :roll and typically I just ignore/screen her calls to avoid the drama.

She's older than I am but she acts like a fucking child and it's just tedious to deal with.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

And having a difficult time dealing with a child does not make a parent incompetent, insane or dissimilar from any other parent, I'm guessing you aren't one or have any family issues Sawyer.

 

[queenrobot]

I am pretty close with my siblings. It is my father that I try to avoid completely.

 

[SAWYER]

That's not what I am saying. You are acting as if she is not able to make decisions about her own life, which would make it seem as if she is not stable or able to take care of her self. if that's not the case and she is just being a push over, what can you do? NOTHING, if you try to butt in and cause issues with your bum of a brother, it will further upset your mom and put a bigger wedge there. I have seen this happen numerous times with family, friends.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: Sawyer
That's not what I am saying. You are acting as if she is not able to make decisions about her own life, which would make it seem as if she is not stable or able to take care of her self. if that's not the case and she is just being a push over, what can you do? NOTHING, if you try to butt in and cause issues with your bum of a brother, it will further upset your mom and put a bigger wedge there. I have seen this happen numerous times with family, friends.

Yeah, you are right that I need to but out, that's basically the point of this thread, I've just done that and feel pretty crummy about everything, it's a difficult situation to navigate.

 

[SAWYER]

Don't feel crummy, there is nothing you can do.

 

[XxPrOdiGyxX]

Sounds like my situation; except that I live with him in a condo now. Our relationship has improved...but he's still a bit of a "dead beat". He works at a pharmacy but is also an avid WoW and DotA player. He's been showing some changes and has been going out more and making friends. But yesterday I found out that he quit his job without talking about it with me. He has his savings which would last him 6 months if he took care of his money but he's spending money like he still has a job. He pays a third of the mortgage and we are both the owners of the condo so I don't know how he plans to pay for these things. He has barely attempted to look for a job and seems to think that he can just get one at will. I can't even get him to file his taxes. He's two years behind and does not understand the implications of not doing taxes. He was also in the Army Reserve and basically he stopped going to drill and ignoring calls from his NCO. They even mailed him separation papers...but he ignored that too. As of today, I don't really know what his status in the Army is.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: XxPrOdiGyxX
Sounds like my situation; except that I live with him in a condo now. Our relationship has improved...but he's still a bit of a "dead beat". He works at a pharmacy but is also an avid WoW and DotA player. He's been showing some changes and has been going out more and making friends. But yesterday I found out that he quit his job without talking about it with me. He has his savings which would last him 6 months if he took care of his money but he's spending money like he still has a job. He pays a third of the mortgage and we are both the owners of the condo so I don't know how he plans to pay for these things. He has barely attempted to look for a job and seems to think that he can just get one at will. I can't even get him to file his taxes. He's two years behind and does not understand the implications of not doing taxes. He was also in the Army Reserve and basically he stopped going to drill and ignoring calls from his NCO. They even mailed him separation papers...but he ignored that too. As of today, I don't really know what his status in the Army is.

Similar, although I don't envy your situation, that sounds very volatile.

There is something about watching a family member waste their life away on an MMORPG that really rubs me the wrong way.

Good luck with your situatiosn XxPrOdiGyxX.

 

[ggnl]

I've talked to my sister maybe 3 times in the last 6 years. We're not on bad terms though. My parents divorced when we were pretty young, she was raised by my mother and I was raised by my father so we just grew apart, and now I don't have much of an emotional connection with her.

I also have two half sisters that I've only met once. I didn't even know they existed until I was 18 years old.

My family is pretty screwed up.

 

[AmpedSilence]

It's sad to hear all these stories. Though, I guess if me and my brother keep going the path we are, then I am sure we will end up like this.

Sadly, He will be the one disowned from the family. I think he knows it but just doesn't want to change. sad part is, all he has to do is dump his current gf and i'm sure the family would take him back. Though, I guess he has no need for us anymore since he found her.

 

[knawlejj]

To be honest I think the problem comes from the MMO playing. I used to be in a similar situation; played WoW for 10+ hours a day, cut off and abandoned my relationships with friends, and hardly ever spoke to my family. I was extremely lazy and didn't want a job, didn't care to get a license, etc. This type of addiction can have a HUGE effect on the personality of somebody, and it comes with many negative spillover costs....

If he ever quits playing and decides to actually do something with his life, you will see a massive change in him and he'll become much more approachable and open-minded when it comes to conversation. Playing an MMO or online game as extensive as I did is just a way to escape reality; you can be your own person. Outside that game it's pretty much a state of denial and they act like everything is fine, but it isn't.

My best advice is to wait it out until he can grow up and do something with his life. If he doesn't then that's his choice and, in my opinion, isn't worth keeping a relationship with.

 

[alkemyst]

damn all that whiney shit in the OP I'd have beat his ass too...

OP are you his adoptive mom or something?

 

[GagHalfrunt]

One sister, not close at all. Many reasons why. Probably won't change. We can be civil at family events where we both have to be present. That's about the limit of the relationship.

 

[manowar821]

My brother and I are like best friends, partners in crime, "trouble" as some call it.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
damn all that whiney shit in the OP I'd have beat his ass too...

OP are you his adoptive mom or something?

Misread that, sorry.

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: knawlejj
To be honest I think the problem comes from the MMO playing. I used to be in a similar situation; played WoW for 10+ hours a day, cut off and abandoned my relationships with friends, and hardly ever spoke to my family. I was extremely lazy and didn't want a job, didn't care to get a license, etc. This type of addiction can have a HUGE effect on the personality of somebody, and it comes with many negative spillover costs....

If he ever quits playing and decides to actually do something with his life, you will see a massive change in him and he'll become much more approachable and open-minded when it comes to conversation. Playing an MMO or online game as extensive as I did is just a way to escape reality; you can be your own person. Outside that game it's pretty much a state of denial and they act like everything is fine, but it isn't.

My best advice is to wait it out until he can grow up and do something with his life. If he doesn't then that's his choice and, in my opinion, isn't worth keeping a relationship with.

I totally agree with you, MMO is bad news unless you have your responsibilities together.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Sabot

I'm trying to work up the nerve to simply say "I'm sorry, I'm taking some distance from you, I'll be there if you really need it" but it is not easy. I strongly believe that if I do not initiate this now, it will be much harder later, otherwise that will be it for the rest of our lives, I know he won't make that effort, not that I think he should, it's my role despite both of us being adults now.

It's comforting to know there are many of you out there now with similar circumstances.

sounds like a pretty shitty situation, but I think you're right, and that seems like the appropriate thing to say--and say it soon.

Does your brother have any close friends, any other hobby or outlet that can get him outside or enjoying life in some other way? Sounds like typical anti-social disorder. He may need some therapy. Of course the problem would be in convincing him of this.

I think the best thing would be to approach him sooner rather than later. Offer to take him on a trip for the weekend, patch things up, with the premise that this may be the last chance you guys have of experiencing a normal sibling relationship. Try to be open, encourage him to be comfortable to tell you whatever's on his mind.

Do either of you camp or hike? fish? Get out in the woods. Bring booze.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Lamont Burns
Tell him he's a scrub PvPer and if he isn't rocking S4 shoulders or weapon not to bother addressing you.

LoL. I don't know what half of that means but I'm sure it will piss him off