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So I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula last night....

NaOH

Diamond Member
Time has not been kind to that movie. I've always enjoyed movies from any decade, so I thought that it being a horror movie that had "depth", it would blow me away (also, because the guy that did Godfather did this movie as well). For starters, the specials effects were a big turn off. Like some of the way the weather effects were done and when one of the gypsies fell off the cliff, you KNEW it was done by using a blue screen because who the fuck falls like that. Another thing is the way it was shot. I know the original book used a bunch of compiled diary entries, but a lot of times during the movie, it would cut in and out unexpectedly without me knowing WTF just happened. I was still able to follow the movie but it just seemed like it was hasitly pieced together, I couldn't care less about any of the characters. While we're on that topic, Keanu Reeves is FUCKING terrible in this. Just having him be the guy that gets to meet Dracula first killed the experience for me. I think if they had switched his role with the guy that did Princes Diaries, it would have made that first introduction to the Count WAYYY BETTER!

Things I did like about the movie was Gary Oldman, Dracula costumes and effects, overall story line, and Van Helsing played by Anthony Hopkins.




Oh yeah, and vampire sluts that showed their boobies.
 
In recent memory I've only found 2 films so bad I couldn't finish watching them. Talladega Nights was one, and this was the other.
 
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.
 
Originally posted by: meltdown75
meh, i liked it

Yeah it was alright. Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder and the Vampire boobies made it worth watching. Reeves was a drag though.
 
Yes really. Keanu Reeves was in the movie, not Christopher Reeves.

Therefore, the aforementioned K Reeves couldn't have been that much of a drag...
 
Originally posted by: Feanor727
Yes really. Keanu Reeves was in the movie, not Christopher Reeves.

Therefore, the aforementioned K Reeves couldn't have been that much of a drag...

You're on a roll eh?
 
Originally posted by: torpid
Wasn't Monica Belluci one of the coven vampires that tried to seduce Keanu Reeves?

IDK, but one of them had Angelina Jolie lips which were all yum as you suckled Reeves.
 
Originally posted by: NaOH
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.

That's nothing. The absolute worst Keanu miscasting was in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It has an ensemble cast of classically-trained award-winning actors putting on mostly brilliant performances.... and then Keanu.
 
Originally posted by: Vic
Originally posted by: NaOH
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.

That's nothing. The absolute worst Keanu miscasting was in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It has an ensemble cast of classically-trained award-winning actors putting on mostly brilliant performances.... and then Keanu.

So you're saying he really IS the son of the devil?
 
Originally posted by: Vic
Originally posted by: NaOH
I remember this movie getting a lot of acclaim when it first came out when i was 7. Boy, was I in for a shocker when Keanu Reeves got introduced and was supposed to be from London........goddamn man. Seriously, all I can say is GODDAMN.... It's like the director handpicked all these good stars at the time you know? Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Princes Diaries guy, Gary Oldman,......and then BAM Keanu "FUCKING I HAVE DOWNS AND CAN ONLY REMEMBER 3 WORD LINES WRITTEN WITH NO PUNCTUATION MARKS Reeves.

That's nothing. The absolute worst Keanu miscasting was in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It has an ensemble cast of classically-trained award-winning actors putting on mostly brilliant performances.... and then Keanu.

Don't ever bring this up again. I am trying to forget it.
 
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